Taking a View of a Sinking Ship From the Stern

It’s still too early to panic, but maybe you could pick off a few messengers if it makes you feel better . . .

It wasn’t a perfect All-Star game, not with all the league-in-trouble stories and the Big Bad West stepping on the Poor Little East for three quarters.

On the other hand, Washington, one world capital that definitely knows how to par-ty, hosted a memorable weekend. Allen Iverson, the urchin with the oversized heart and penchant for trouble, led an improbable comeback, won the most-valuable-player trophy and took his mom up on the podium and into the interview room, and kept yelling “Where’s my coach?”, intent on sharing the moment with Larry Brown, who tried to trade him last summer.

Then there was the halftime ceremony honoring past MVPs which was so misty, macho Karl Malone, who was lined up alongside teammate John Stockton, told him he loved him.

“I know it sounds corny,” Malone said later, “but that’s what I told him: ‘You don’t know how much I love you, man.’ ”

Sniffle, what could be better than that?

Of course, the TV ratings tanked again.

The real score wasn’t East 111, West 110 but Nielsen 5.1, their TV rating . . . down 26% from last season . . . which was down 35% from 1998, the last one Michael Jordan played in.

All-star games are now a dead fish on the market--the last NHL game was down 37%, the Pro Bowl was off 45% and baseball got its lowest number in 33 years--but this isn’t great consolation for the NBA, which has lost 52% of its audience in three years.

Commissioner David Stern spent the weekend talking to any TV host who would have him on, including “Meet the Press” and “Hardball,” but it was like the ratings, nobody was buying what he was selling.

Embarrassments and challenges notwithstanding, the NBA is in OK shape, one year away from the start of negotiations for a new TV contract. But journalism is a reality-lagging process and the press likes nothing better than a good pile-on.

Even the New York Times editorial page, advisor to presidents and kings, took time to note “Basketball’s Troubles,” struck by the fact that Malone, “an aging superstar who was making perhaps his last appearance at the game,” had delivered an “astonishing quote” about NBA problems.

Not that there isn’t something to it, but Malone issues the same “astonishing” jeremiad annually, after the league has made him attend the All-Star game, which he hates as much as he hates any baggy-pants, tattooed kid.

What’s a poor commish to do?

Stern is too smart to attack the press frontally, but there’s an attitude there and it leaked out all weekend.

Asked in his annual news conference about attendance problems, Stern sputtered, “That’s the kind of reporting we get!” He then told the questioner to “Get a dish!” so he could check out other cities besides his own.

Official attendance is off only 1%, but that reflects tickets sold. Anecdotally, it looks as if many people aren’t using theirs, as Stern is no doubt aware.

Then on ESPN’s “Outside the Lines,” a weirdly lighted Stern sat through an unusually harsh feature on NBA problems and came out counterpunching at host Bob Ley, looking so petulant, some league people were talking about it days later and getting copies of the tape to check it out.

Not that the NBA’s press dynamic has changed much.

In the ‘90s when we were writing that the NBA was about to overhaul baseball, which never quite happened, I never heard anything from league people about their positive press. They were upset because we were bringing up Jordan’s gambling problems or his annual boycott of the All-Star media session or Dennis Rodman’s antics or those of Nick Van Exel, Cedric Ceballos, Chris Webber, et al.

Personally, I like writing about antics. They’re not only amusing, they place these momentous events we cover in their real perspective--they’re only games--and they tell you a lot about the people involved.

Fortunately, I’m an NBA writer and can draw from an inexhaustible supply of antics.

Closing the weekend out on another downer, Stern then announced he will allow Vancouver to move, which he acknowledged was a “grave disappointment.”

“I accept that the league didn’t do things right,” Stern said, looking around for someone to share the blame. “Various ownership groups, including the present one, haven’t been perfect. And maybe the city hasn’t been perfect. But that’s just the way it is.”

Actually, it’s worse than that, a crushing blow to the global vision and the soaring optimism that have always been Stern’s trademarks.

The Grizzlies entered the league only five seasons ago, when Stern was so confident of their survival, he made both Canadian teams wait three years to become eligible to get the No. 1 pick in the draft.

The NBA played some games in Japan and thought about putting a team in Mexico City. Stern used to get questions about what kind of jets they’d need to expand to Europe.

So much for chartering Concordes. Now they have all they can do to turn it around here.

FACES AND FIGURES

Whither the Grizzlies? Owner Michael Heisley reportedly wants to go to Las Vegas, but Stern isn’t going for that. The group from Nashville has reportedly pulled out but New Orleans is in pursuit. Within hours of Stern’s announcement, the general manager of the new New Orleans arena held a news conference, inviting Heisley to check them out.

Said Chicago Coach Tim Floyd, who once coached the University of New Orleans, “They’ve got the facility and I think they’ve got the population base. It’s a great city. It’s a city players will like to play in. They might have a home-court advantage with Bourbon Street.”

The Bulls actually shot off streamers and confetti after ending their 16-game losing streak with a victory over the Atlanta Hawks. Said guard Ron Mercer: “I wonder how long they were waiting to shoot those off.’

Wizard luck: Mitch Richmond, a former All-Star MVP who was supposed to be honored at halftime, was not told of the ceremony by the league office--and missed it. He was at home, watching it on TV.

It’s not easy being George Karl: The Milwaukee coach was recently complaining about referees to a writer in an off-the-record conversation when his faithful team publicist, Cheri Hanson, thought he might be going too far. To stop him, she poured about a quarter of a bottle of water over his head. Karl got a towel, dried himself off and never complained.

Agent David Falk says he told Dikembe Mutombo, “Relax and enjoy the season. Have fun. Let me do the worrying. Everything will work out over the summer. Stan [Kasten, Hawks’ president] and I have conversations all the time. We’ll work something that’s best for the team and best for Dikembe. Whether he stays or goes, both sides will be happy.” This is Falk-talk for “Kiss him goodbye, suckers.”

Cleveland Coach Randy Wittman, fuming after the Cavaliers’ 21st loss in 26 games: “From this point on, if we have to play four guys, I will. I will find however many there are--it might be one, it might be two and it might be five--willing to play the game with heart. If there are only four, we will play four. We’ve got guys with egos now that have gotten in the way. They don’t care about anything but themselves.”

In Cleveland’s next game at Dallas, Wesley Person almost started a melee, knocking down Gary Trent, who had just scored the 100th point, winning the home fans free chalupas. Of course, the Cavaliers lost by 19 points, for their 22nd in the last 27.

Everybody’s a critic: Golden State Coach Dave Cowens, on the All-Star events: “I think the rookie game was a travesty to the game of basketball. I thought the dunk contest was an embarrassment. Well, not an embarrassment but it wasn’t interesting at all. I thought the All-Star Game was good.” Well, one out of three is as good as it gets.

Kevin Garnett, after a subpar performance in Portland, where the Minnesota Timberwolves had their 11-game winning streak broken: “I’m like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. If I’m not ready, the sled isn’t going to go.”