Magic Not Big on Impressions

And so, since Shaquille O’Neal hadn’t gone to Orlando (yet), Orlando came to Shaquille O’Neal.

Not that Orlando was looking forward to it. . . .

Two weeks ago, during all-star weekend when O’Neal dropped his famous hint about going back there, Magic Coach Doc Rivers was on vacation with his cell phone off. When he turned it on, he says, he had about 35 messages from reporters.

When he found out what this was all about, he says, “First I started laughing. Then I started crying. . .

“I laugh at all that stuff. Even if it was true [O’Neal wanted to go there], it still wouldn’t happen, unless Mitch [Kupchak, Laker GM] lost his mind. . .

“I was trying to figure out a way I could spin it, just to get the message out, ‘See, guys want to come to Orlando!’ ”

The Magic better hope that some of its newcomers are big guys. Otherwise, even with Grant Hill back next season, Orlando still will be small and uninspiring up front, as O’Neal proceeded to demonstrate Sunday.

On the very first play, he left tire tracks on Andrew DeClercq’s chest, steaming right over him to score on a layup.

On the Lakers’ second possession, Bo Outlaw came over to double team and O’Neal laid the ball off to Outlaw’s man, Horace Grant, for a dunk.

On their third possession, O’Neal’s old buddy, Darrell Armstrong, came down from the top to double team but that was like sending a cocker spaniel to body up on a rhino. O’Neal plowed to the hoop and scored again.

In all, O’Neal had 37 points, 19 rebounds, six assists and five blocks and it could have been worse if the Magic hadn’t massed its defense against him, and if O’Neal had made more that nine of 21 free throws.

“Shaq’s going to get his and against us, I mean, he’s always going to get his,” Rivers said. “We’re just not big enough, to be honest.”

This was old home day, all-around. Three Lakers--O’Neal, Grant and Brian Shaw--were in Orlando as recently as the 1995-96 season. Grant took several Magic staffers out to dinner Saturday night.

In addition, the Lakers almost signed Orlando’s John Amaechi last summer, offering him a five-year, $17-million contract. Amaechi wound up staying in Orlando on a one-year deal--which is one of the few things that went right for the Lakers in the off-season, since Amaechi went into a slump soon thereafter and lost his starting job.

Now, however, only Armstrong remains from the Shaq Era in Orlando.

“I joined the team in Philly [in 1995],” Armstrong said. “We played a game and flew home. The next day we had off, he came and got me and we rode around, had a good time. He’s that type of guy. He’s real friendly. He likes to have fun. I mean, he’s like a big kid. . .

“I didn’t really know what was going on. I just wanted to fit in and get myself situated, try to work my way in. But he took me under his wing and we’d laugh and giggle. He taught me the ropes.

“Soon as I joined the team, Shaq and Horace Grant were the first two players I met. They were sitting in the locker room. Big guys--I had never seen big guys like that . . .”

Armstrong certainly hasn’t seen big guys like that recently.

Of course, O’Neal says he never said anything about going to Orlando.

However, not long after that, when asked if he had any interest in going to Dallas, O’Neal just smiled and said, “No comment.”

Still having fun after all those years . . .

The Lakers have won nine of 11, although they still don’t have it all back together. O’Neal still misses free throws (17 of his last 30, after going 15 for 20 in Dallas and San Antonio) and the team needs to re-integrate Kobe Bryant.

Meanwhile, O’Neal keeps dropping hints about how smoothly the offense has been running lately . . .

“I understand,” Rivers said, “there’s always problems on teams and when you’re winning a ton like they did last year, you usually don’t talk about any of those problems. I still believe, and I think Phil [Jackson] does too . . . it’s going to make them better in the long run when it runs its course.

“I guarantee you when the playoffs start and they start thinking about making another run for it, they’ll get along just fine.”

That’s comforting, isn’t it, Laker fans?

Of course, the playoffs are almost two months off so they’re not home free yet.