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LAUGH LINES

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Something to Talk About: “NBC has been pitched the idea of a TV talk show hosted by soon-to-be-former-President Bill Clinton. . . . Chances are it won’t be titled ‘To Tell the Truth.’ ” (Jerry Perisho)

Not by the Book: “Did you know [Laura Bush is] a librarian by profession? I don’t know where she and George Bush first met, but I think we can pretty much rule out the library. . . . In fact, they said . . . that Bush could have the first presidential library where it’s all books on tape.” (Jay Leno)

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The Essential David Letterman

Top Chapter Titles in

Hillary Clinton’s New Book

10. “1, 2, 3, 5, 8 and 10--A Look at the Commandments I Broke During the Past 8 Years.”

8. “Deciding Which State Is Best for You to Pretend to Be From.”

7. “Priceless White House Antiques I’ve Thrown at Bill’s Head.”

5. “God Bless the Execu-Craft Model 5000 Paper Shredder.”

4. “Roger Clinton: The Real Brains Behind the Whole Operation.”

2. “I Never Figured Out Who Rick Lazio Was, Either.”

1. Chapter 1: “Bill’s a Jerk. The End. Now Where’s My $8 Mil?”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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