Students Return to Santana to Confront Sadness and Anger

There were reminders: Dried blood on a sidewalk. A chair where a friend once sat. A bathroom turned into a killing place.

But mostly what remains is emotion.

Sadness collides with anger. Grief encounters a desire for revenge. A sense of hope battles despair.

For Santana High School students returning to school Wednesday for the first time since a bloody rampage left two dead and 13 injured, this posed a dilemma. The shootings allegedly committed by fellow student Charles Andrew Williams were the only thing on students’ minds.

“I just want to stop talking about it. I don’t want to be here. I don’t know what to do,” said 15-year-old Courtney Seals, a friend of Williams. “My friend’s a murderer. How are you meant to cope with that?”

About 85% of the 1,900 students showed up for class Wednesday, accompanied by about 200 grief counselors--enough for each class. Not everyone was welcomed back. Three of Williams’ close friends were told not to return, and at least one of the students resented the decision.

The shortened school day--students overwhelmed by grief left throughout the day--was not one of lesson plans and homework. Administrators planned the reopening as a way to help students cope with the tragedy--and to accelerate the school’s return to normality. Parents were allowed to remain on campus all day.

At a news conference, Granger Ward, superintendent of the Grossmont Union High School District, declared the school safe and urged students to return. Half a dozen sheriff’s deputies were present, along with additional school security.

“In some ways this may be the safest school in America,” said school psychologist Bob McGlenn.

On Wednesday morning in a mournful, reflective procession, parents and students arrived. Some walked hand in hand with their children, delivering them to an entrance surrounded with flowers, purple and gold balloons and signs of hope: “Together We Will Survive.”

Jeff Laws arrived with his daughter, 16-year-old Nicole Laws.

“I am not just here for her, but for me,” Laws said, expressing a sentiment shared by many parents.

Some were not convinced that a quick return was in the students’ best interest.

“I think they are still numb,” said Nancy Evjen, who brought her daughter, Amy. “I don’t think it is good to go back to class. My daughter has been on the phone for three days with her friends.”

Teachers spent most of their time talking to students. Students apparently spent most of their time talking, crying and reflecting on Monday’s shooting.

“I couldn’t walk by the hallway today,” said, Jamie Fleming, 15. “My friends threw rose petals down there. The dried blood is still on the ground. It hasn’t gone away. We should have the whole week off.”

Students filled message boards: “Our thoughts and prayers are with the families,” one student wrote. “Brian we miss you. You are in our prayers. God bless you and your family,” others wrote.

Freshman Nicole Newark, 15, said she felt anger and disappointment.

“I just have all these feelings now,” Newark said. “I just cannot believe this happened at our school.”

She and others said they would have preferred to talk to theirclassmates rather than counselors. “We should be with our friends, not with some strangers,” Newark said.

As parents escorted children into the school, a small group of parents whose children were friends with Williams showed up to protest treatment of their children.

Karen Boaz carried a sign that read: “Andy’s friends are victims too. Please welcome them back with love and support.”

Boaz is the mother of Katy, 14, a freshman at Santana. Her daughter had just waved hello to Andy Williams at a Del Taco on Monday morning shortly before the shooting. She had no inkling of what was about to happen.

Boaz said radio talk shows have accused Andy’s friends of keeping quiet.

“It wasn’t a code of silence,” Boaz said. “They were deceived by Andy. They really believed he was kidding. My daughter didn’t do anything wrong. Andy’s friends are victims too.”

In the aftermath of the shooting, Katy has pleaded with her mother to permit a transfer to the cross-town rival West Hills High School in Santee, fearing hostility from other students.

As students wrestled with emotions, school officials tried to balance the scale of fairness and safety. Three students who were friends of the alleged shooter but failed to report his threats of violence were not allowed back on campus.

Keeping the three students off campus was in the “best interest” of all students, Ward said.

“We have informed them that this is not the place for them,” he said. “It would be disruptive. We don’t need additional issues to deal with.”

“We are working with these parents to determine where these students should go to school, whether at Santana or elsewhere,” Ward said.

One of those students, Josh Stevens, called the handling of the situation unfair.

“I think they are punishing me for Andy,” he said. “I don’t want to go somewhere else.”

At least some students were venting their anger at Stevens and other friends of Williams.

Stevens said he and a few friends took a poster supportive of their friend to the front of the school recently, but other students ripped it up. At least one student who attended school Wednesday reported hearing students threatening to beat up the three teenagers who had heard Williams’ threats of a rampage.

Trustee Gary Cass further inflamed the debate with public comments about the shooting. In remarks Tuesday, Cass said the violence showed that there was a consistent disrespect for human life at Santana High School.

His comments ignited an angry backlash as community leaders criticized him on local radio stations for being insensitive.

Seeking to defuse the controversy, Cass issued a second statement on Wednesday.

“My remarks inaccurately gave the impression that the concerns I expressed regarding a ‘disrespect for life’ extended to the entire Santana student body. This is not the case.”

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Times staff writer Jocelyn Y. Stewart contributed to this story.