Despite Ruling for Martin, Only One Reigns Supreme

The PGA Tour, which took aim at disabled golfer Casey Martin’s need for a cart, was way out of bounds from the start.

If the tour’s primary concern was to make sure no one had a competitive advantage in this physically demanding sport, then the tour should have petitioned the highest court in the land to require Tiger Woods to play with one arm tied behind his back.

Martin could drive an Indy 500 race car from shot to shot, and unless he runs over Tiger, he’s playing for second place like everyone else.

Right now the tour should be thinking about making a cart available for everyone except Tiger to help them give chase.

NOW THAT Martin has his cart, the first thing he should do is make it look like one of those NASCAR jalopies.

In auto racing you have your Cheerios car, or your Kmart car, so why not a Footjoy cart with a picture of Shaq wearing his size 22 spikeless shoes plastered across the top of the buggy for the benefit of the Goodyear blimp?

Why not cover every inch of that cart with sponsor decals? You already have golfers advertising accounting firms on their visors, automobile dealers on their shirts and golf balls on their bags.

What’s the PGA Tour going to do to stop Martin from souping up his cart--sue him?

THE TOUR makes such a big deal about this “walking rule” to maintain the competitive balance of the game, but from what I can tell, Tiger is the only one who can walk across a water hazard.

Walking is what makes golf a drag. They have made so many high-tech advancements in golf clubs and balls that now everyone can hit it more than 300 yards. That means everyone has to wait longer between shots while the competitors walk to their golf balls. And that means the TV network has to make the choice of switching to a commercial or showing us Frank Lickliter lining up a putt.

The only reason anyone watches golf these days is to see Tiger work his magic, so give him a cart too, and make it more like polo with Tiger racing his cart from shot to shot so we never have to see Frank Lickliter again.

SOME PEOPLE are upset because they don’t think the Supreme Court of the United States should be making the rules in sports.

After watching Bud Selig, Paul Tagliabue and David Stern at work, I wouldn’t be opposed to letting Sandra Day O’Connor call the shots for awhile.

UPPER DECK, using Tiger as its centerpiece, is going to start selling a 640-card set of trading cards in packs of five for $2.99 beginning June 13--the day before the start of the U.S. Open.

“[Tiger] is the reason the consumer is going to buy this product,” Upper Deck chairman Richard McWilliam told the Associated Press.

There was no mention of Upper Deck’s refund policy in the event someone spends $2.99 hoping to get Tiger and ends up with Joel Edwards, Bradley Hughes, Briny Baird, Craig Barlow and Spike McRoy.

HANK EGAN, former University of San Diego basketball coach and as straight a shooter as there is in sports when asked a question, has been sitting on the San Antonio Spurs’ bench as an assistant coach for the last seven years.

He was there to witness the end of the Chicago Bulls’ dynasty, and while admitting, “It’s blasphemy, I would take these Lakers if they were playing those Bulls.

“The Lakers have a lot of real weapons. When the Bulls threw the ball into the post it was to set up a play on the perimeter. Michael Jordan was a monster all right, but the Lakers have two monsters.”

EGAN SAID Milwaukee could give the Lakers some problems in the finals if the two teams meet.

“The Lakers are going to win out, but Milwaukee gives them a different look than what they have been facing and I think it has the potential to be more of an interesting series than what people might expect.”

MILWAUKEE’S GLENN Robinson has now played 152 minutes and taken 77 shots without making it to the free-throw line. Because referees seldom call a foul on any of the Lakers, I don’t see any reason why Robinson should think he will ever get to the free-throw line again.

A DAY after Florida relief pitcher Dan Miceli suggested Marlin Manager John Boles was hiding in the dugout while Met Manager Bobby Valentine was strutting all over the field and blasted Boles for lacking major league experience, Florida fired Boles.

Miceli is 0-5 with a 7.23 earned-run average.

THE ANGELS won three of four games against Tampa Bay over the weekend and lost a game in the standings to Seattle.

AND TO think back on April 1 when I predicted the Lakers would run off 19 wins in a row and be within four games of winning the NBA championship--some people scoffed.

VIN SCULLY is calling Paul Lo Duca “Pauley.” That beats a year ago at this time when Scully would have had to call Albuquerque to get Lo Duca.

BY THE looks of the Kirk Gibson bobble head doll that will be given away in a couple of weeks at Dodger Stadium--the Village People had a concert recently, no one showed up, they had 55,000 bobble heads left over, and now they’re trying to pass off the Construction Worker as Kirk Gibson.

TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Todd:

“Hey, T.J., nice call on Lo Duca. You said the guy was short and dumpy and he goes six for six to tie a club record. What do you say now?”

I’ll take another look, but I believe he’s still short and dumpy.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com