THE TIMES’ RANKINGS

Chris Dufresne’s Top 20 College Rankings and Comments:

Rk School (Record) Comment

1 MIAMI (7-0) A win against BC (Boston College) should help the Hurricanes in the BCS.

2 NEBRASKA (10-0) School asks that everyone dress in red for Saturday’s big game against Kansas State.

3 OKLAHOMA (8-1) Team reports only a minor sprain after a slip and fall in BCS standings.

4 TEXAS (8-1) Who left the BCS barn door open and let the Longhorns back in?

5 OREGON (8-1) Trip to Rose Bowl a melancholy reminder about what might have been.

6 WASHINGTON STATE (8-1) UCLA’s conference call with Oregon this week intercepted by Lamont Thompson.

7 FLORIDA (7-1) Spurrier and Holtz nominated for daytime Emmys in category “Top Sideline Performances.”

8 WASHINGTON (7-1) Surprised Neuheisel hasn’t signed a razor blade deal on the importance of “close shaves.”

9 TENNESSEE (6-1) No. 6 BCS ranking reminds us of an Internet stock that’s about to go bust.

10 FLORIDA STATE (6-2) Might be Rankman’s preseason No. 1 in 2002, ’03 and ’04.

11 BYU (9-0) Cougars head to Wyoming this week in search of that big BCS roundup.

12 STANFORD (5-2) Has to settle now for that old fall-back position of just being smarter than everyone else.

13 UCLA (6-2) Rankman had no luck this week trying to un-circle that Oregon game from calendar.

14 MARYLAND (8-1) Friedgen cast as “Ralph” in summer stock revival of “The Honeymooners.”

15 SOUTH CAROLINA (7-2) Lou puts washer on full spin cycle as he prepares a load of Gator hogwash.

16 SYRACUSE (7-2) Still has to answer tribunal as to how it only beat Rutgers, 24-17.

17 MICHIGAN STATE (5-2) School president declares post-Michigan win holiday as “Ann Arbor Day.”

18 MICHIGAN (6-2) Carr suspects last weekend’s refs also called U.S.-USSR hoop game in 1972.

19 ILLINOIS (7-1) Show of hands, please, to those who thought these guys could actually win the Big Ten.

20 GEORGIA TECH (6-2) Coach teams with Fox to start weekly pigskin show called “The O’Leary Factor.”

21 GEORGIA (5-2) Hosts Auburn this weekend in a game that’s as uniquely Southern as Antarctica.

22 VIRGINIA TECH (6-2) Come on, now, do the Hokie-pokey and turn yourselves around.

23 MISSISSIPPI (6-2) Rankman turned Arkansas game off at end of regulation. How’d it turn out?

24 COLORADO (7-2) “Return to Dominance” theme softened to “Hey, Not as Bad as Last Year.”

25 LOUISVILLE (8-1) Conference USA’s Tuesday Night Football marketing campaign finally pays off!