Uplifting Tale Sounds Suspiciously Spurious

Years after Babe Ruth allegedly socked a home run for a bed-ridden kid, Florida Coach Steve Spurrier on Saturday tacked on a last-minute touchdown at the behest of his bell-rung student equipment manager.

If that doesn’t put a lump in your throat, well, maybe you don’t have a pulse.

Forget that Spurrier entered Saturday’s game against Mississippi State with a ruthless reputation for piling on points; he says that was not his motivation for authorizing a late touchdown pass from his backup quarterback to put the finishing touches on a 52-0 wipeout win.

Spurrier did it for the equipment kid, Clay Carter, knocked unconscious last year in the postgame stampede of fans after Mississippi State upset Florida in Starkville.

Carter recounted his tale to Florida reporters, telling of the murky moments when that unruly cowbell crowd stormed the field and stole some of the Gators’ footballs. A security guard promised to restore order, but then all went black when a Bulldog fan punched Carter in the face.

Carter, a senior exercise and sports science major, approached Spurrier this week and asked, with innocent eyes, “Coach, you think you could put one in the end zone for me?”

According to Carter’s account in the Tampa Tribune, Spurrier replied: “We’re going to try to.”

(Now would be a good time to grab a tissue.)

You read this exchange and recall the big-screen re-enactment of Ruth’s moment, actor William Bendix rushing into the hospital in full uniform and then promising the ill boy he’d knock one out of the park, and that kid shouting “Yippee!” when the Babe comes through in the clutch.

In the modern-day reprise, backup quarterback Brock Berlin flicked a 23-yard scoring strike with 1:45 left to push Florida past the 50-point mark, thus sealing victory and perhaps, in a small way, restoring faith in humanity.

Texas Sneak Peek

No sport is more emotion-driven than college football, which may explain this weekend’s flush of redemption games. South Carolina turned the tide on Alabama after a bitter loss last year; Florida paid back Mississippi State; UCLA avenged a 55-7 loss at Oregon State two years ago; Tennessee settled accounts with Louisiana State after last year’s overtime loss in Baton Rouge and Washington State ended three years of misery with a big win at Arizona.

So, it comes as no shock that Texas fans couldn’t wait for the end of the Longhorns’ victory against Texas Tech to start the chant, “Beat OU!”

In one of the most anticipated games of the season, No. 5 Texas and No. 3 Oklahoma meet Saturday at the Cotton Bowl.

Last year, Oklahoma humiliated Texas, 63-14. Oklahoma players lingered to take a team picture on the field for posterity.

Safe to say the phrase “What’s my motivation?” will not be uttered this week by any Longhorn.

“Words can’t describe how long we’ve been looking forward to playing Oklahoma,” Texas linebacker D.D. Lewis said after the win over Texas Tech.

The wait is almost over.

Do Not Adjust Your Sets

Notre Dame is 0-3 for the first time and falling so fast toward Gerry Faust-ville not even the local TV affiliates can take it. In losing, 24-3, at Texas A&M;, Notre Dame ran its streak of appearing on a national network--ABC, NBC, CBS, ESPN--to 103 games, but the Chicago-based ABC station passed on the Irish and chose to broadcast Illinois at Michigan.

Da Bears, da Cubs, da Davie must go?

Given that Notre Dame has been outscored, 34-0, in the first quarter this season, networks might want to consider returning to the legendary Lindsey Nelson format in which the announcer says, “Picking up Notre Dame action in the second quarter ... “

Rose Bowl Tracking Poll

* In the game this week: UCLA and Miami. Wouldn’t this be beautiful, a rematch of the classic 1998 game in which Miami knocked UCLA out of the national title game with a sweat-soaked win in Florida?

Only this time, all those alligator-armed UCLA defenders, freshmen and sophomores then, return with deep voices and mustaches, vowing to avenge the most embarrassing tackling display since Miami Dolphin kicker Garo Yepremian tried to wrap up the Washington Redskins’ Mike Bass in Super Bowl VII.

* Still have a float in the parade: Florida, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Texas, Oregon, Virginia Tech, Northwestern.

Comments: Florida’s win over Mississippi State served warning that the Gators now have a defense to match their explosive offense. Often overlooked in Florida’s national title run of 1996 was the play of the defense, directed by coordinator Bob Stoops. Wonder whatever became of him?

The loser of this week’s Texas-Oklahoma game probably gets eliminated from national title contention, while Nebraska has yet to play Oklahoma, Kansas State and, if it survives, a matchup against either Oklahoma or Texas in the Big 12 title game.

Northwestern and Virginia Tech are national imposters, yet are schools with very real chances to finish their seasons undefeated. Northwestern needed David Wasielewski’s last-second field goal to beat Michigan State and stay in Rose Bowl contention, while Virginia Tech continues to amaze with its ability to win over poll voters.

Compare and contrast: UCLA is 4-0 and has defeated three schools that were ranked in the preseason Associated Press poll: Alabama (25), Ohio State (23) and Oregon State (11).

Virginia Tech is 4-0 and has defeated Connecticut, a newcomer to Division I, Western Michigan and Rutgers, which just lost at home to Connecticut.

Yet, in this week’s coaches’ poll, Virginia Tech is No. 6 and UCLA is No. 9.

The AP writers have Virginia Tech No. 8 and UCLA No. 9

None of this is important, except to note the combined poll average counts for one-fourth of the points in the bowl championship series standings.

* Still Not Sold On: Tennessee (admittedly, it’s the uniforms), Washington (had to come from behind to beat Cal?), South Carolina (one of these weeks Lou Holtz’s magic wand will come up empty), Fresno State (believe Big Brother when he says the BCS has conspired against you).

* Stop by for your Rose Bowl parting gifts: Kansas State (tough, tough loss against Oklahoma), Georgia Tech (tough, tough loss against Clemson).