Suspect Seems to Be Going to Extremes to Take a Bite Out of Dental Expenses

Looking for something to get my teeth into, I found the following on a police log in USC’s Daily Trojan: “A suspect entered an unlocked room and cut a cable to remove a drill that was secured to a desktop at the Dental Science building.”

A dental patient who had decided on a do-it-yourself approach to save money?

Grounds for a grievance: For USC’s football team, winning has been as tough as pulling teeth this year. Losers of three of their first four games, the Trojans are off to their worst start in 40 years.

More than 4,000 USC employees were given free tickets to attend last Saturday’s upset loss to Stanford at the Coliseum, prompting the Daily Trojan’s David Cisneros to ask:

“Why were they being punished?”

Unclear on the concept: Today’s exhibits (see accompanying) include:

* A type of shrimp usually found pecking away in a barnyard (submitted by Joan Simon of Sherman Oaks).

* A store that is offering to give customers not only free windows and doors, but cash as well (Jim Hardie of Rancho Palos Verdes).

* An air conditioner for drivers who don’t want to get too comfortable (Robert Bacon of West Covina).

Legal not-so-niceties: Tom Blair, editor of San Diego magazine, mentions that Marc Galanter, a University of Wisconsin law professor, is writing a book of lawyer jokes. Sample: Lawyers are replacing laboratory rats in popularity among scientific researchers. The reason, according to one expert: “There are more of them, and you don’t get so attached to them.”

Two admirers too many: The director of a funeral home phoned the city of Paramount to ask if a sheriff’s deputy could be present for a service. “The deceased’s three girlfriends were all planning to show up,” reported the city’s newsletter. “Maybe the cause of death was pure exhaustion.”

Let’s not get too personal: A casting notice in the publication Backstage West for the short film “Enchantress of the Sea” included a role for a “male, 25-35, transvestite performer, may ask to see male persona, as well.”

miscelLAny:

Author Erwin Gudde makes this shocking disclosure about the origin of La Crescenta in his book, “California Place Names”:

“This name is not Spanish for the crescent, which would be la creciente. The place was settled in the early 1880s and named by Dr. Benjamin Briggs. From his home he could see three crescent-shaped formations, which suggested to him the artificial name.”

I hope Briggs’ Spanish teacher didn’t find out.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.