This Park Was Built for Long-Ball Hitters

I believe Dodger pitcher Chan Ho Park is worth not only $20 million a year, but much more for the excitement he generates in major league baseball.

As you know, there’s already talk about the bidding for Park’s services, but from what I hear the folks who want him most are Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa--all demanding he pitch to them during the All-Star game’s home run derby.

That would give Bonds the chance to hit 74 homers in one day.

I have to believe Park will be interested too, because this is the only way Dodger catcher Chad Kreuter will make it to an All-Star game.

NOW YOU’VE probably heard the baseball expression: “Just once, I’d like the chance to Park one,” or in the case of St. Louis’ Fernando Tatis last season, “Just once, I’d like the chance to Park a pair of grand slams in the same inning.”

Cal Ripken played in 2,632 consecutive games without having such an opportunity, which explains why he fell 69 home runs shy of the 500 mark.

But at this year’s All-Star game--an event doubling as a retiring Ripken lovefest--Park was on the mound, Ripken homered and it couldn’t have been better had it all been staged.

You think about Ted Williams homering in his final at-bat--I presume off Park--and you have to feel for someone like San Diego’s Tony Gwynn, who had to end his career against Jose Jimenez, overmatched and grounding out to short.

If the fix were in, baseball would have had the Dodgers finishing the season against the Padres, Gwynn batting against Jeff Shaw.

Still, there are some people out there who think there is a conspiracy behind everything--you know, crazy stuff like Bonds, who is represented by agent Scott Boras, hitting home run No. 71 off Park, who is represented by Boras--Park taking signs from Kreuter, who is represented by Boras.

It’s true five of Bonds’ final nine home runs came off of Jason Middlebrook and Park--two of Boras’ clients. And it’s true a number of people believed no one was going to give Bonds the pitches to hit down the stretch. It’s also true that without Boras’ clients, Bonds might very well have been stuck at 68. But for the good of the game, Park came through, the only shame being that he won’t have a chance to deliver the winning homer to some Yankee to cap off a World Series victory for New York.

And that’s how bad the Dodgers are--baseball can’t arrange things so Park can deliver one more fat pitch.

THE PICTURE the Dodgers have painted of Park is one of a heartless Ismael Valdes, the only difference being, I don’t think the Angels will spend the quarter to call Boras to see if Park might like to sign with Anaheim.

THE RANGERS fired General Manager Doug Melvin, and he suggested to Texas reporters that Boras’ influence with owner Tom Hicks might have had something to do with it. Boras’ influence with Hicks? Just because he got the guy to spend $252 million--more than what he paid to buy the Rangers--on Alex Rodriguez.

“I’ve got a good idea who it is,” Melvin told Fort Worth Star-Telegram columnist Jim Reeves when asked who has Hicks’ ear. “I have a feeling Scott’s up to his old tricks.”

Boras must be a busy guy running both the Rangers and the Dodgers.

THE DODGERS dismissed Manager Davey Johnson after finishing 86-76, and now intend to pick up one of Manager Jim Tracy’s option years after the Dodgers finished 86-76. I told Davey to smile more.

THE ANGELS, seemingly intent on proving just how crummy they can be, finished a franchise-worst 41 games out of first place--shattering the previous mark of 381/2 games in 1961. To the Angels’ credit, it was a team effort.

THIS COMES from Nick in an e-mail from San Bernardino: “Whenever the Angels got a rally going, the PA system blared ‘You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.’ That about summed up their season.”

I WAS reading the Los Angeles Daily News, since it’s free, and the guy who covers USC for the newspaper and who also votes in the Associated Press weekly poll, has UCLA No. 8--behind Texas at No. 7. I’m sure Trojan fans see the logic in that, and I know all about an East Coast bias, but the top 10 is all about teams who have the ability to remain undefeated and in the running for the Rose Bowl.

Others have taken note of UCLA’s success, however, and the AP poll reflects that with the Bruins ranking No. 7 and Texas sitting at No. 11.

ON SUNDAY, I asked the question: “Where did I go wrong?”

I now have the answer: I bet money in Las Vegas that the San Diego Chargers would win a football game. I should have known it was tall order beating the Browns in Cleveland, and the Mission Bay Shrimp wouldn’t be up to it.

“I think [losing] just puts you in a nasty frame of mind all week long,” said San Diego quarterback Doug Flutie.

I’m sure he’d feel a lot better if he knew I lost my money on the game.

I also wagered the Raiders would defeat the Cowboys by more than 18 points, only to find out later Jerry Jones was sending in plays, and when it came time to dominate, Al Davis was no match for him.

THERE IS help available for anyone who is looking forward to the NFL’s Monday night game between Dallas and Washington.

SOME NFL teams will get a lift this week because the substance abusers, who were suspended for four weeks before the season began, are eligible to return.

“I’m going to go 100 miles per hour,” said the Raiders’ Darrell Russell upon his return, and I’ll let you write in your own punch line here.

TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Chris:

“I have an extra ticket for the Kings-Lightning game on Oct. 13th. I’d be willing to give it to you, and explain the game in simple language--with a few hand signals thrown in.”

I’m not surprised you have an extra ticket.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes .