Chowan Is What His Life Is All About Now

Lou Saban is 80 years old, but retirement is far from his mind. “If I retire, I’ll die,” he told Brian Schmitz of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel. “That’s my fear. This keeps me alive.”

Saban was referring to accepting another head coaching job in football--this time at Chowan College in Murfreesboro, N.C., an NCAA Division III school of about 800 students.

Schmitz: “Saban has coached at so many places, it’s no wonder he married a real estate agent. ... [He] has coached at every level of football known to man or Mel Kiper Jr. ... Incredibly, the job at Chowan is his 27th in 51 years.”

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Trivia time: Which was the last Pacific 10 Conference team to have an undefeated, untied season, including bowl games?

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Too early to judge: Scott Howard-Cooper writing for ESPN.com on the Portland Trail Blazers:

“Turns out your favorite dysfunctional NBA family is going for the ‘Brady Bunch family look’ under new Coach Maurice Cheeks.

“‘Very professional,’ guard Derek Anderson said of the setting. ‘Guys aren’t complaining, guys aren’t coming late, everybody’s showing up. That’s professional.’

“Cheeks has talked about Rasheed Wallace as a leader. In something other than technicals. Group hug!”

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Off-the-court gang: Milwaukee Buck Coach George Karl was exasperated when Ray Allen begged out of a recent practice complaining of knee soreness and joining other players already sidelined because of various injuries, however minor.

Said Karl: “Ray joined the training-camp-is-too-hard, I-don’t-want-to-be-on-the-court group.”

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Distorted record: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “As Javy Lopez approaches Yogi Berrra on the all-time list for postseason homers by a catcher, it’s important to remember that the postseason used to consist of the World Series and nothing more.”

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More Geracie: “A man who fell from the upper deck of Arrowhead Stadium told emergency workers he blacked out after bending over to pick up something. His 12th beer.”

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Full retreat: Thomas Boswell in the Washington Post, commenting before Sunday’s games: “The Redskins, from owner Dan Snyder to Coach Marty Schottenheimer to his players, are as amazed as their fans--not just by the fact that their record is 0-5, but because they have been outscored, 144-32, managed only two offensive touchdowns and become a laughingstock.

“Their 9-7 loss to the Cowboys should have been called ‘Monday Night Live.”’

The comedy act ended with a 17-14 victory over the Carolina Panthers on Sunday.

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Looking back: On this day in 1932, UCLA defeated Caltech, 51-0. On the same day in 1938, the Bruins shut out Idaho, 33-0.

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Trivia answer: Washington, 12-0, in 1991.

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And finally: Comedian Tom Arnold, co-host of the “Best Damn Sports Show Period” on Fox Sports Net, recently poked fun at Michael Jordan’s NBA comeback, saying that Nike had introduced a new shoe called the “Gasping for Air Jordan.”

Safe to say, it came before the 41 points Jordan scored for Washington in Saturday’s exhibition against New Jersey.