Avoid Getting Bowled Over

Yes, there are way too many bowl games. No, they’re not going away any time soon, at least not until the Seattle and Silicon Valley bowls exhaust their lines of credit.

A viewer’s guide to who’s playing, what it means, when they kick off, where you can see it and why you should or shouldn’t tune in:

Houston Bowl

Who: Southern Mississippi (7-5) vs. Oklahoma State (7-5). What: Brett Favre’s alma mater against a team that couldn’t beat UCLA. Lot of good that did Bob Toledo. When: Today, 10 a.m. Where: ESPN. Why: Gallery Furniture asked the same question. Unable to come up with a reasonable answer, it dropped its sponsorship.

Independence Bowl

Who: Nebraska (7-6) vs. Mississippi (6-6). What: Nebraska receives its penance for its worst season in four decades -- a lovely holiday season spent in Shreveport. Mississippi quarterback Eli Manning continues to pay for his decision not to follow brother Peyton to Tennessee. When: Today, 1:30 p.m. Where: ESPN. Why: Nebraska puts its major-college record streak of 40 consecutive winning seasons on the line.

Holiday Bowl

Who: Kansas State (10-2) vs. Arizona State (8-5). What: Kansas State is 10-2, same as USC, and defeated USC, yet the Trojans are playing Iowa on Thursday and the Wildcats got sent here. Somebody is going to pay, and pay dearly, and its name is Arizona State. When: Today, 5 p.m. Where: ESPN. Why: At what point will Kansas State Coach Bill Snyder’s bitterness cease? Kansas State’s 35th? Forty-fifth? Sixty-fourth?

Continental Tire Bowl

Who: West Virginia (9-3) vs. Virginia (8-5). What: Two conference runners-up dragged kicking and screaming from the Gator Bowl after Notre Dame got bumped out of the bowl championship series picture. When: Saturday, 8 a.m. Where: ESPN2. Why: Al Groh never had a chance to coach a team in the Michelin, Goodyear or Firestone Bowls.

Alamo Bowl

Who: Colorado (9-4) vs. Wisconsin (7-6). What: Colorado running back Chris Brown was a Heisman Trophy candidate before getting hurt in November. Wisconsin was 5-0 before required to play its Big Ten schedule. When: Saturday, 5 p.m. Where: ESPN. Why: A great matchup back in October.

Music City Bowl

Who: Minnesota (7-5) vs. Arkansas (9-4). What: Minnesota went 0-4 to close its regular-season schedule. Arkansas lost to Georgia, 30-3, in the Southeastern Conference title game. OK, so they might have peaked a little early. When: Monday, 11 a.m. Where: ESPN. Why: There’s a chance Minnesota and Arkansas will never meet in a bowl game again.

Seattle Bowl

Who: Wake Forest (6-6) vs. Oregon (7-5). What: Receiving a last-minute reprieve from the Silicon Valley Bowl, Oregon stays closer to home, sending thousands of unruly Duck fans across state border into enemy (read: the hated Washington Huskies) territory. If Seattle survives, its bowl game might not. When: Monday, 2:30 p.m. Where: ESPN. Why: In 1948, Oregon and Cal tied for the Pacific Coast Conference championship. When the member schools held a vote to determine which school would represent the conference in the Rose Bowl, Washington voted for Cal and encouraged Montana to do the same, keeping Oregon at home and kicking off perhaps the fiercest football rivalry on the West Coast. Fifty-four years later Oregon finally readies for its revenge.

Humanitarian Bowl

Who: Iowa State (7-6) vs. Boise State (11-1). What: Iowa State quarterback Seneca Wallace set out scrambling for the Heisman, got sidetracked a bit, wound up in Boise. When: Tuesday, 9 a.m. Where: ESPN. Why: Iowa State was the only team in America to beat Iowa this season. That and a .500 record in your other games will get you an invitation to a bowl game played on a blue field.

Sun Bowl

Who: Washington (7-5) vs. Purdue (6-6). What: 2001 Rose Bowl redux, reduced. When: Tuesday, 11 a.m. Where: Channel 2. Why: Marques Tuiasosopo and Drew Brees are gone, but lots of people say the “Harry Potter” and “Lord of the Rings” sequels are better than the first installments.

Silicon Valley Bowl

Who: Georgia Tech (7-5) vs. Fresno State (8-5). What: Football as metaphor for the sudden rise and fall of the dotcom industry. When: Tuesday, 12:30 p.m. Where: ESPN2. Why: Tell your grandchildren you witnessed the last Silicon Valley Bowl before the financing dried up.

Liberty Bowl

Who: Texas Christian (9-2) vs. Colorado State (10-3). What: The Horned Frogs against one more team that lost to Bob Toledo. When: Tuesday, 12:30 p.m. Where: ESPN. Why: Colorado State, which never met an ESPN payday it could refuse, played three games on Thursday and one on Friday this season, but never one on a Tuesday.

Peach Bowl

Who: Maryland (10-3) vs. Tennessee (8-4). What: Maryland, which could have kept four-loss Florida State out of a BCS bowl but didn’t, and Tennessee, which could have been a contender but wasn’t, ring out a year of regrets in luckless Atlanta. When: Tuesday, 4:30 p.m. Where: ESPN. Why: New Year’s Eve drinking game: Can you keep up with Maryland and Tennessee fans, who will be getting a very early start?

San Francisco Bowl

Who: Air Force (8-4) vs. Virginia Tech (9-4). What: Air Force opened 6-0, Virginia Tech 8-0 and all they got was this lousy loaf of sourdough. When: Tuesday, 7:30 p.m. Where: ESPN2. Why: Home of the Giants and the 49ers, San Francisco well-versed in dealing with teams that don’t know how to protect an early lead.

Outback Bowl

Who: Michigan (9-3) vs. Florida (8-4). What: What if Drew Henson stayed to play quarterback at Michigan? What if Steve Spurrier stayed to keep coaching at Florida? Very likely, this would be the Fiesta Bowl. When: Wednesday, 8 a.m. Where: ESPN. Why: Despite the fire Ron Zook Web sites, Zook had a better season than Spurrier.

Cotton Bowl

Who: Louisiana State (8-4) vs. Texas (10-2). What: Chris Simms returns to the scene of his worst nightmares, the long-lost Red River Shootouts against Oklahoma. Louisiana State, or what’s left of it, gets a trip to Dallas. When: Wednesday, 8 a.m. Where: Channel 11. Why: Last chance to see Simms lose a big game before he moves on to the pros.

Gator Bowl

Who: Notre Dame (10-2) vs. North Carolina State (10-3). What: Bowl politics at their finest. Subtitled: “Notre Dame Is Notre Dame. And West Virginia Is Not.” When: Wednesday, 9:30 a.m. Where: Channel 4. Why: The last time Notre Dame appeared on national television, it hand-delivered Carson Palmer the Heisman.

Capital One Bowl

Who: Penn State (9-3) vs. Auburn (8-4). What: The game that used to be the Florida Citrus Bowl that used to be the Tangerine Bowl, back in the days before Joe Paterno went crazy about college football referees. When: Wednesday, 10 a.m. Where: Channel 7. Why: Penn State running back Larry Johnson runs angry, we have been told. See how he runs after parlaying 2,000 yards and an 8.0 average into a distant third place in the Heisman balloting.

Rose Bowl

Who: Washington State (10-2) vs. Oklahoma (11-2). What: The Granddaddy of Them All Before USC and Iowa Were Stolen Away by the Orange Bowl, Mike Price Jumped to Alabama and Oklahoma Lost to Oklahoma State. When: Wednesday, 2 p.m. Where: Channel 7. Why: So the real Rose Bowl is being played 24 hours later in Florida. Try to look on the positive side: This is a really, really good Holiday Bowl.

Sugar Bowl

Who: Georgia (12-1) vs. Florida State (9-4). What: Florida State to play with its third-string quarterback because one quarterback missed his final exam and another is being investigated for possibly being involved in on-campus gambling. “Court TV” with hash marks. When: Wednesday, 5:30 p.m. Where: Channel 7. Why: Not often you get the chance to see Bobby Bowden lose five games in a season.

Orange Bowl

Who: USC (10-2) vs. Iowa (11-1). What: Football game sponsored by FedEx, which overnighted the Rose Bowl to Miami. When: Thursday, 5 p.m. Where: Channel 7. Why: Best bowl on the board. Heisman winner Palmer versus Heisman runner-up Brad Banks. The two hottest teams in the nation. This matchup belonged either in the Rose Bowl or the Fiesta Bowl, but greed, self-interest and politics forged the longest right turn in college football history.

Fiesta Bowl

Who: Miami (12-0) vs. Ohio State (13-0). What: What the BCS always wanted: A battle of the last two unbeaten teams. What the BCS got: A two-touchdown point spread. When: Jan. 3, 5 p.m. Where: Channel 7. Why: Miami is on a 34-game winning streak and its two star players, quarterback Ken Dorsey and running back Willis McGahee, placed 4-5 in the Heisman voting. Ohio State is 13-0 and a 13 1/2-point underdog. Stay tuned, because either way, someone in the winning locker room is going to say, “Nobody believed in us but us.”

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Larry Stewart is on vacation.