But Did the Note-Writing Housekeeper Take the Homeowner to the Cleaners?

The Los Alamitos News-Enterprise gave “Call of the Week” honors in its police log to this item: “A woman returned home to find her home cleaned and a note stating the housekeeper had been there.”

The police log added: “But she doesn’t have a housekeeper.”

Slamming into reverse: Rod Casper of L.A. found a sign in South Pasadena that I think would characterize the driving in most parking lots in these parts (see photo). (It actually refers to a company called Alert Communications.)

True comfort food: Barbara Fox of Altadena noticed a cereal name that she figures is for “blue Mondays” (see accompanying).

More food for thought: S.B. Alper of Huntington Beach spotted a meat dish that is cooked extremely rare (see accompanying). Heavy on the brandy, please.

Sorry, Earl Scheib: The item here about the anti-Grey-Poupon Rolls-Royce with the NO MSTRD license plate reminded Jack Conway “of a [stainless steel] Delorean that we saw. Its plate read NOPAINT.”

The plate on my old Ford Fairlane could have said the same thing.

Hearsay: In the Laguna Niguel News, resident Deloris St. John came upon this alarming crime log entry: “Someone reported that a man was sitting in a parked vehicle listening to very loud Italian opera.”

Perfect job for a ham: “While walking on Ocean Front Walk at Venice Beach,” writes Ed Stalcup of Malibu, “we saw an actor-type standing with a cell phone in one hand and, in the other, a sign saying, ‘Slice of Pizza 99 cents.’ As we passed, we heard him say into the phone, ‘Well, I’m on this gig right now.’”

If he gets good reviews, maybe he can win a part in a spaghetti western.

What do you expect from such a rowdy sport? The Laguna News-Post reported:

“Cliff Drive, 400 block, public intoxication. Residents said it appeared that a man was passed out near the lawn bowling green at Heisler Park.”

Sounds like ... You may have seen that Sprint cell phone commercial that warns of the danger of bad connections: A football coach making a personnel move tells his assistant via phone that he “needs a backup for O’Neill.” The next day, the assistant brings to practice the Captain and Tennille.

David Chan of L.A. says that a takeoff making the rounds among accountants has an Arthur Andersen exec saying on his cell phone, “Ship the Enron documents to the feds.” But his secretary hears, “Rip the Enron documents to shreds.”

miscelLAny: I panicked when Diana Britt of Pasadena sent me an e-mail that mentioned my name in conjunction with Jerry Lerman’s bonehead.oddballs.com Web site. I breathed easier when I discovered that the bonehead was a stupid criminal mentioned in this column, not me. At least not that day.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., CA 90012; and by e-mail at steve .harvey@latimes.com.