If a ‘Revocable Virgin’ Did Offer Her Honor, Would They Honor Her Offer?
Virginia Strain of Sunset Beach, who has a revocable living trust in her name, noticed with some amusement that it had been abbreviated this way on one tax form: “Revocable Living Virgin.” Her accountant’s secretary said, “Well, at least it’s revocable, Virginia.”
Which reminds me: Dr. Howard B. Weithorn and Associates received confirmation of a renewed postal box, but the notice shortened the firm’s name, leaving the last seven letters off “Associates.”
No fan of photographers? Linda Garcia of Riverside came upon a cat notice snapped by Nita Hiltner in that city’s Press-Enterprise and wonders if the creature was just having a bad day (see photo).
If you’re under 800, expect to show your ID: In an attempt to expand my reader base, I’m aiming this item at everyone from tots to Methuselah-types. Don Lisle of Altadena found a Sunday school looking for novice instructors, while Merrill Safstrom of L.A. was surprised to read on a receipt that he was born in the Middle Ages (see accompanying).
Not dressed up, somewhere to go: A driver made an emergency call on his cell phone to report a freeway sighting of a pickup truck carrying two naked bodies in the back. A CHP officer found the truck and pulled it over. When the driver identified himself as LAPD Sgt. Bruce Bogstad, the Chippie nevertheless had to ask: “You got bodies in the back of your truck?” Bogstad explained that plastic bags had blown off two mannequins he was carrying.
The manager of the L.A. Police Pipe Band, Bogstad was on his way to a bagpipe recital by the group and had brought along the mannequins to model various outfits.
I’m pleased to report, by the way, that Bogstad was not transporting the mannequins while driving in the car-pool lane--like that hearse driver with a real stiff did a couple of years ago.
Payback time: Mention was made in this space of the Leland Stanford Jr. University Marching Band, known for crazy outfits and wild halftime shows that often mock Stanford’s opponents.
Randy Knox recalled a subtle retaliatory move when Stanford was playing UCLA down here. The public address announcer introduced the visiting band this way: “And, now, the Leland Stanford [pause] Junior University Marching Band.”
“It’s all in the way you say it,” Knox pointed out.
Everyone wants to make movies: The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise reported that a woman whose trash can was being used by a neighbor “said she had set up a video camera to record it.”
miscelLAny: Continuing the run of memorable marquees, Don Reynolds wrote that he’s never forgotten a Topeka, Kan., theater’s announcement about a 1948 Olivia de Havilland movie: HELD OVER THE SNAKE PIT.
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Steve Harvey, who may be videotaping you this very moment, can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012, and by e-mail at steve
