Too Much Monkey Business for Him

Steve Rubenstein of the San Francisco Chronicle writes that true Giant fans have come to this conclusion: “There are just as many reasons to hate the Angels as there are to hate the Dodgers: Probably more.

“The Anaheim Angels, after all, are represented by a monkey, are owned by a company that got its start making cartoons and can be found in the Los Angeles basin.

“The Los Angeles basin, Giant fans know, is the same basin where Los Angeles is located.”

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More bias: Many years ago, the late Herb Caen of the Chronicle and Jack Smith of The Times wrote facing articles in a magazine. Caen’s theme was why San Francisco hates L.A. and Smith’s theme was why San Francisco really hates L.A.

Not much has changed. Personally, I’ve always found San Francisco to be a charming little place ... cable cars, bridges, foghorns, steep hills, overrated but interesting restaurants....

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Trivia time: Who was UCLA’s first All-American football selection?

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Civilized sport: David Whitley in the Orlando Sentinel: “Tiger Woods hit a really nice shot Thursday. The ball stopped two feet from the pin on hole No. 3 to set up an easy birdie.

“Woods got to the green, picked up the ball and started dancing circles around playing partner David Toms. Then he took a magic marker out of his sock, autographed the ball and tossed it to his agent, who was wearing a ‘Mickelson Stinks’ T-shirt.

“ ‘T.W.’s just being T.W.,’ he explained.

“Fortunately, it’s just make-believe. Woods did birdie No. 3. His response was an understated wave to the Disney Golf Classic gallery. Terrell Owens would call it boring.... In a sports world that seems to be getting overrun by clowns, golf still hasn’t joined the circus.”

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Familiar routine: Steve Jacobson of Newsday, on Latrell Sprewell: “Fining him $250,000 for failing to report he had an injured hand is excessive and likely will be knocked down by the union....

“However, fining Latrell Sprewell for behaving like Latrell Sprewell is not such a bad idea.... When he continually walks into the dressing room late, when he misses a week of training camp, when he blows off a team workshop on how to deal with the media, when he blows off a shoot-around, it takes something away from the whole. This is especially costly when a new coach is installing a new system.”

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Trivia answer: Tailback Kenny Washington in 1939.

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And finally: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News: “The Los Angeles/California/Anaheim Angels have lurched through identity disorders and several awful baseball movies without winning the American League pennant.

“So one can concede the laws of compensation without being at all pleased that baseball has finally put two afterthoughts into the Fall Classic....

“And the fact it is happening in California is just as appropriate as it is phony, because it allows the rest of us to take our usual position on West Coast weirdness, which is to be grateful there are mountains between us and it.”

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--Mal Florence