RATING THE TV GAMES

*--* **** Whoa, Nellie *** Order some pizza ** Channel-surf ... or get out of the house * A fine time for chores ** Iowa (3-1) at No. 12 Penn State (3-0), 9 a.m., ESPN: Stunning statistic: Neither Penn State’s Zack Mills nor Iowa’s Brad Banks has thrown an interception. LINE: Penn State by 8 ** UCLA (2-1) at San Diego State (0-4), 11 a.m., ESPN2, KSPN (1110), XTRA (690): There’s nothing like a really good pregame omelet, is there? LINE: UCLA by 14 1/2 ** Kentucky (4-0) at No. 7 Florida (3-1), 12:30 p.m., Channel 2: Check out the Pillsbury Throw Boy: Kentucky’s 6-4, 275-pound quarterback, Jared Lorenzen. LINE: Florida by 19 ** Stanford (1-1) at Arizona State (3-1), 12:30 p.m., Channel 7: These teams combined for 79 points and 1,052 yards in Stanford’s 51-28 victory last season. LINE: Arizona State by 1 ** Minnesota (4-0) at Purdue (2-2), 3 p.m., ESPN2: Unbeaten Minnesota has beaten nobody. Purdue won last season’s game in overtime, 35-28. LINE: Purdue by 3 *** No. 23 Oregon State (4-0) at No. 18 USC (2-1), 3:30 p.m., Fox Sports Net; KMPC (1540), XPRS (1090, Spanish), KPLS (830): Nostalgic Trojan memory: USC won 26 in a row against Beavers ending in 2000. LINE: USC by 3 1/2 ** South Florida (2-1) at No. 2 Oklahoma (3-0), 4 p.m., TBS: Touchdowns will come sweeping down the plain against overmatched USF, a relative newcomer. LINE: Oklahoma by 28 ** Alabama (3-1) at Arkansas (2-0), 4:45 p.m., ESPN: Alabama quarterback Tyler Watts has a sprained foot and Coach Dennis Franchione is playing quarterback guessing games. LINE: Arkansas by 6 ** Syracuse (1-2) at Auburn (3-1), 6 p.m., ESPN2: Orangemen are giving up almost 500 yards a game--ranking 114th out of 117 teams. LINE: Auburn by 14 * Texas El Paso (1-3) at San Jose State (2-2), 7 p.m., Fox Sports Net: This is what you call an indefensible TV game: UTEP gave up 77 points to Kentucky, San Jose State gave up 63 to Stanford. LINE: San Jose State by 17 1/2 * Southern Methodist (0-4) at Hawaii (2-1), 9 p.m., Fox Sports Net 2: Get a glimpse of the islands, then turn off the tube. It’s Saturday night. LINE: Hawaii by 22

*--*