Rose Bowl Might Not Be It in Game of Tags

Pardon me if I don’t rush out to buy tickets for that first NFL game in a renovated Rose Bowl in 2006.

The Rose Bowl people also promised a satellite visit from NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue in a press release before their news conference to draw interest and add an air of credibility to their plans to bring the NFL back to L.A..

One problem: They couldn’t produce the commissioner. Tagliabue was not only a no-show, but an NFL official said he never agreed to speak in the first place.

“There was a press release saying the commissioner would be speaking?” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello asked. “That was premature. We haven’t seen the plans and details yet, and it wouldn’t make sense for the commissioner to be a part of such a press conference.”

I guess you can believe everything else that was said at the Rose Bowl news conference if you wish.

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AS I sat here watching the Yankees pummel the World Series champion Angels as if they were Pony Leaguers, I chose to count my blessings, thankful these were the Angels who were trying to put up a fight, and not the hapless Dodgers.

The modern-day record for most runs scored against one team is 29, and that team didn’t employ Andy Ashby.

Imagine a pitching staff that featured Ashby, John Lackey and Mickey Callaway: That probably would mark the return of Home Run Derby.

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AS YOU know, the “name the Dodger donkey mascot” contest will not conclude until Fred McGriff and Adrian Beltre are hitting above .200. That now raises the question: What will happen first, the return of the NFL in L.A., or both stiffs crossing the Mendoza line?

Beltre had a chance for redemption in Cincinnati: two men on base, the Dodgers trailing 3-0 in the ninth, one out, a 2-0 hitter’s count, and the best he could do was fly out to center to go 0 for 4. I still maintain Beltre will be a superstar one day. I just wish I knew for which team.

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THE GOOD news: The other day there was no shredded paper around Kevin Brown’s locker. The bad news: His mailbox appeared as if he hadn’t checked it in years because there were a couple of fan letters inside, probably including the one I sent on opening day. So it still looks good that we’ll become pen pals.

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SOMEONE IN the press box noticed former UCLA basketball coach Jim Harrick walking around Edison Field wearing a “Georgia” sweatshirt. I had no idea he was such a fan of the Rams’ owner.

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TONY GWYNN told a New York newspaper 50% of the players in baseball are using amphetamines, and the use “was rampant on my club.” Finally an explanation why the Padres had so much success against the Dodgers. The Dodgers might have had Green, but the Padres had the “greenies.”

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IF DODGER pitcher Guillermo Mota, arrested on suspicion of DUI, loses his driver’s license, the opposition probably will send a limo for him. I’ve got a great idea for one of those “Funniest Home Video” shows: Wouldn’t you like to see the look on “Speedy’s” face if the limo driver turned around, and it was Mike Piazza.

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ROBBIE BRITT sang the national anthem at Edison Field, and I’m not sure it can be done much better. It was the highlight of the night for the Angels.

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YOU KNOW the old expression “misery loves company”? Well, sure you do if you went along with Times’ horse racing handicapper Bob Mieszerski’s selections in the newspaper during the Santa Anita meet. Misery wagered $1,466 and won $1,387.60 -- a loss of $78.40 if you don’t count parking, admission, program and the Daily Racing Form every day for the past few months.

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HERE’S WHAT boxing promoter Bob Arum had to say about Mike Tyson and the upcoming June fight in Staples Center.

“Tyson is terribly sick,” said Arum, while pointing out he needs to be on medication most of the time. “Deranged is the word for it. It’s almost like a circus act putting mangy tigers and lions in a cage and hitting them with a whip. We’re talking about watching an animal -- that’s essentially what they are selling. They certainly aren’t selling a guy with boxing skills or a competitive fight. They’re going to pick some bus boy that he’ll probably knock out.”

The boxing community will dismiss anything Arum has to say because he’s not promoting this fight and would change his tune if he were involved. I don’t agree. I believe if given the chance, he’d decline to be involved. I also think he understands boxing is in trouble, and another Tyson fight gone sour will only drag the sport down further.

“Things like this destroy the sport,” Arum said, “Sure, it’s giving some people what they want, but everybody else is repelled. The sickos that feed into this Tyson business are Tyson devotees, not boxing devotees.”

It’ll be interesting to see if there are enough sickos to fill Staples Center.

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IN THE April 28 issue of ESPN the Magazine, Dan Patrick asks Dallas’ Dirk Nowitzki, “If you could invite any four people to dinner, who’d you pick?”

Nowitzki says, “Dennis Rodman, because he knows how to party. Shakira is very good. Steffi Graf, a German hero. Salma Hayek, just for the fun.”

What a dreamer -- he might as well call me and ask for her number.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Marc L. Davis:

“When I was a (bagger) and people would ask me what job I had, I would tell them I was a “Grocery Placement Engineer.” See how official it sounds. I bet you’d be impressed if your daughter came home with a professional GPE.”

I’d have settled for someone with just a GED.

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.