Umpire Is Quick With His Wit, and Calls

In the Frontier League, when someone shouts, “Hey, ump, are you blind?” they might get an unexpected answer:

“Only in one eye.”

Umpire Max McLeary, 55, wears a false right eye after losing his own in an accident almost 30 years ago. But he has been umpiring in the independent Frontier League for nine years, the New York Times reports.

“Here’s a trivia question,” McLeary told the newspaper. “What has three eyes and umpires? Answer: Me and any partner I’m working with.”

Joe Charboneau, the hitting coach for the Washington (Pa.) Wild Things, likes to heckle McLeary about his eye.

“Max, get Windex to clear your glass eye!”

McLeary is ready.

“Joe, get with the times, the eye’s plastic!”

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Trivia time: What former Big West Conference coach is now coach and vice president of basketball operations for the Harlem Globetrotters?

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Cardinal virtues: The Oakland Tribune published a Q&A; with Stanford Athletic Director Ted Leland, and although it was largely about the fabulousness of Stanford’s athletic program -- the facilities, the endowment, the remarkable success -- it got down to basics at the end.

“Q: Honestly, now, do you like Stanford’s marching band?

“A: Yeah, I do. We’ve got binders and binders of complaints, but I like them. They just do one loony thing a year that gets me in trouble....

“Q: Do you like the Tree as a mascot?

“A: I like the Tree too.

“Q: If you didn’t, would you say so?

“A: No.”

Good thinking. Never, ever incur the wrath of the Tree.

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Want to bet? Pete Rose says in an ESPN interview to be shown tonight that he believes he will manage in the major leagues again, and Reds’ owner Carl Lindner is said to be interested.

A Cincinnati Enquirer online poll already was running 61%-39% in favor of Rose managing the Reds. That just leaves the little matter of Rose needing to be reinstated to good standing by baseball first.

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More Rose: Despite Commissioner Bud Selig’s willingness to consider reinstating Rose, he’s still waiting. Rose says in the ESPN interview it doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach the Hall of Fame.

“Now if you told me I was going to die next week, I would be concerned because it doesn’t do you a darn bit of good to go to the Hall of Fame after you are dead, a la Leo Durocher. Leo was a good friend of mine, and they put him in the Hall of Fame the year after he died. What good’s it to him?”

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Trivia answer: Rod Baker, the coach at UC Irvine from 1991 to ’97.

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And finally: Carson Palmer, the Heisman Trophy winner from USC, rode to his first Cincinnati Bengal training camp with the team’s No. 2 pick, Eric Steinbach, an offensive lineman from Iowa who had yet to sign a contract. Steinbach dropped off Palmer at Georgetown College in Kentucky and headed back to Cincinnati -- driving Palmer’s pickup, the Cincinnati Post reported.

“I’ve got to trust him with my life, so I’ve got to trust him with my truck,” Palmer said.

-- Robyn Norwood