Some Folks Aren’t Hip to Hip-Hop

I guess some people just don’t appreciate fine music. The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise said that “several people reported a man was walking around, talking to himself and making funny hand gestures.” Police investigated and determined that “the young man was just practicing rap.”

Such a deal: Heikki Ketola of Malibu spotted a panhandler who’s willing to give up bachelorhood -- under certain conditions (see photo).

Speaking of unusual offers: Mike Sugar of Simi Valley read about a computer that had a strange malfunction. Bob and Mary Ann Ford of Villa Park came across a car that would come in handy during the rainy season. And Cal Porter of Malibu noticed an ad from a Mexican resort claiming to be free of one type of feathery nuisance (see accompanying). If only Southern California could make the same claim.

Attn. buckaroos: Jeff Bliss saw an EBay item described as “a very unique cemetery property just 35 feet from the final resting place of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, the King of the Cowboys and the Queen of the West.” Price of the double plot: $13,200.

“The areas next to Roy and Dale are selling out quickly,” enthused the Apple Valley cemetery. “Don’t miss this opportunity!” Don’t know about you, but I’d like to miss that opportunity for as long as possible.

After-life options (cont.): Bliss recalled that when he was a boy, his father insisted on taking the family out to Rogers’ Apple Valley restaurant every Thanksgiving. One year, they also visited Rogers’ now-closed museum, “but when we walked around one of the corners and came face-to-hooves with the stuffed Trigger [Roy’s horse] and stuffed Bullet [Roy’s dog], my grandmother nearly had a coronary.” His father hustled them out of there “faster than you could sing, ‘Happy Trails to You.’ I don’t think Grandma spoke two words on the way home. After that, we didn’t much get back to Apple Valley for stuffed turkey -- or horse.”

miscelLAny: Writer John Wilcock notes that London’s Observer, in a newspaper story on the Michael Jackson case, termed Santa Barbara “a suburb of Los Angeles.” Oh, I bet Santa Barbarans didn’t like that! Actually, as everyone knows, the city is a rest stop on the way to Los Angeles.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.