Speech Is Free, but Not Phones, Signs or Caps

With only five more prop shopping days till Christmas, it was helpful of the NFL to provide its official price list for freedom of expression experimentation this week.

Use a cellphone to celebrate a touchdown: $30,000.

Use a printed sign that says, “Dear NFL, Please don’t fine me again” to celebrate a touchdown: $10,000.

Attend a postgame news conference wearing a baseball cap honoring a higher authority than Paul Tagliabue: $5,000.

This is useful information to have.

Now New Orleans Saint wide receiver Joe Horn knows the roaming charges inside the Superdome are really out of hand.

Now Cincinnati Bengal wide receiver Chad Johnson knows he probably can get more for less by printing bulk at Kinko’s.

Now Cincinnati Bengal quarterback Jon Kitna knows the next time he wants to wear a religious symbol during a postgame media session, it had better be the NFL logo.

Horn, of course, saw it coming. Shortly after his round of end-zone show-and-tell with a cellphone, Horn predicted he’d get fined, but figured it would be worth it. Sure enough: Horn, often overlooked in the discussion of top NFL wide receivers, was the talk of sports radio for the first time in his career.

Johnson expected to take a hit as well, which is why his end-zone sign included the word “please.” Manners still count in the NFL. His fine was only a third of Horn’s penalty.

Kitna, however, was surprised by his fine -- and who outside the league office can blame him? Kitna, a devout Christian, opted to wear a red baseball cap sporting a white cross logo into the interview room after the Bengals defeated San Francisco last Sunday. The NFL fined him $5,000 for violating league policy that requires players to wear only NFL-licensed apparel up to 90 minutes after a game.

Also last Sunday, Detroit Lion President Matt Millen used a disparaging term for gays to insult Kansas City wide receiver Johnnie Morton, and New York Giant linebacker Mike Barrow likened the experience of losing a football game by 38 points to rape. Through Friday, the league hadn’t fined Millen or Barrow.

It should be noted that Millen and Barrow publicly apologized, with varying degrees of sincerity, for their comments. And, on occasion, the NFL has been known to acknowledge that freedom of speech is still a Constitutional right in this country.

But it’s interesting to watch the league pick its spots. Millen, Barrow, Horn and Johnson were all guilty of stupid acts. Millen’s and Barrow’s were the most offensive of the four. Yet Horn and Johnson were the ones the NFL decided to sanction.

Kitna suspects he’s guilty of nothing, except maybe failing to bow before the NFL altar. He says he plans to appeal his fine.

In the interim, he sits and waits for Reebok to roll out a line of NFL-licensed Sharktooth Bible gear.

Fortunately, for all concerned, the NFL gets back to what it does best this week, with games scheduled today and Sunday. Inside the NFL, common sense and perspective come and go. But the gamblers always get their fix, come rain or snow or end-zone phone call.

Available for viewing this weekend:

TODAY

* Atlanta Falcons at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

(Channel 11, 10:30 a.m.)

Not that long ago, this had the look of must-see TV: a December matchup involving Michael Vick and the reigning Super Bowl champions. Then, Vick and the Buccaneers took September, October and most of November off. All that’s left is a less-than-scintillating encounter involving the team that got Dan Reeves fired and the team that gave Keyshawn Johnson his sabbatical. And ABC keeps complaining about its lousy late-season Monday night games and its desire for a flexible schedule. Open that can of worms and the next thing you know, Fox is going to be demanding flexible Saturdays.

* Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings

(Channel 2, 2 p.m.)

Terrell Owens had his Sharpie and his pompoms. Horn had his cell phone. Chad Johnson had his day-glo orange sign. Meanwhile, things with Randy Moss have been quiet. Too quiet.

* New England Patriots at New York Jets

(ESPN, 5:30 p.m.)

Roy Firestone, ESPN’s first NFL game analyst, returns to the football booth as the network celebrates its 200th NFL broadcast. Amid the geyser bursts of nostalgia and self-congratulation from ESPN, the Patriots will try to win their 11th consecutive game while wondering what they have to do to get more than two players voted to the Pro Bowl. That’s a half-dozen fewer than the Baltimore Ravens. The NFL should fine somebody.

SUNDAY

* Cincinnati Bengals at St. Louis Rams

(Channel 2, 10 a.m.)

Past: Kurt Warner contemplates his while standing idly on the Rams’ sideline.

Future: Carson Palmer contemplates his while standing idly on the Bengals’ sideline.

Present: It’s Kitna against Marc Bulger as the Bengals bid for their first playoff berth in 13 years and Bulger tries to improve his record as a Ram starter to 18-3. Just as everybody expected back in September.

* New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys

(Channel 11, 10 a.m.)

Quincy Carter is one victory away from the playoffs. Jim Fassel is one week away from the unemployment line. Just as everybody expected back in September.

* San Francisco 49ers at Philadelphia Eagles

(Channel 11, 1:15 p.m.)

This just in: Donovan McNabb made the Pro Bowl. Rush Limbaugh did not.

* Denver Broncos at Indianapolis Colts

(ESPN, 5:30 p.m.)

On to Game 201 for ESPN, a matchup that poses the questions: What was Bronco Coach Mike Shanahan thinking when he called for Clinton Portis’ 38th carry last week when his 37th had set up Denver for a chip-shot winning field goal? Can the Broncos capture a must-win game in Indianapolis with Portis hampered by the leg injuries he sustained on that 38th carry? Will Shanahan be named AFC coach of the year? Finally, an easy one.