The Worst Stories of 2003

1. COACHES OUT OF CONTROL

Baylor basketball Coach Dave Bliss is pressured to resign after ethical and recruiting violations are uncovered in the police investigation into the death of former Baylor player Patrick Dennehy. Iowa basketball Coach Larry Eustachy is pressured to resign after a newspaper publishes photos of him acting like an overage frat boy at a student party. Mike Price is fired before coaching a football game at Alabama, taking Eustachy’s behavior up, or down a notch, to a strip club and beyond. Washington football Coach Rick Neuheisel is fired after admitting to winning more than $12,000 in an NCAA basketball gambling pool. Georgia basketball Coach Jim Harrick is fired for a host of ethical sins. College sports have much bigger problems than keeping the kids from jumping to the pros too soon.

2. KOBE BRYANT

We don’t know everything that happened inside that Colorado hotel room. But almost every snapshot taken in the aftermath of Bryant’s arrest -- the media hysteria, the Free Kobe Web site, the tabloid photos, the diamond ring -- has been sad and sorry for everyone involved.

3. THREE LETTERS: THG

“Designer steroid” became a late-2003 catchphrase as the Internal Revenue Service investigated Victor Conte’s BALCO laboratory as the possible source of THG, a performance-enhancing drug that until recently was undetectable in testing. After 2003, will we ever be able to look at U.S. track performance and major league home-run records the same way?

4. THREE LETTERS: BCS

When the No. 1 team in both polls doesn’t qualify for the top two slots in the computer-driven standings, you might want to take another look at that software, or better yet, pitch it in the furnace. Especially when one of the computers ranks Miami of Ohio higher than USC.

5. THREE MORE: CBS

And they stand for, what, Cowardly Broadcasting Service? CBS disgraced itself by kowtowing to the whims of Augusta National Golf Club chairman Hootie Johnson, whose feud with Martha Burk and the National Council of Women’s Organizations over female membership at Augusta threatened to diminish the annual media hosannas sent the Masters’ way. Johnson didn’t want any mention of the controversy during CBS’ live coverage of the tournament, and sure enough, the network came through for him. This year, the Masters carried a subtitle: Hootie and the Jellyfish.

6. SAY IT AIN’T SOSA

That was the ESPN graphic for its coverage of the Great Sammy Sosa Cork Controversy, in which the popular Chicago Cub slugger broke his bat to reveal the barrel being illegally corked. Much righteous outraged ensued for a few days in June, Sosa was suspended for seven games but by season’s end, Sosa and the Cubs were in the playoffs, and a nation’s wrath soon was diverted toward a new villain at Wrigley Field, Steve Bartman.

7. POOR BARTMAN

OK, so the kid made a stupid mistake. He reached out and touched a playable foul ball in Game 5 of the National League championship series and kept Cub outfielder Moises Alou from catching it, thus prolonging the inning and the Cubs’ inept tradition of failing to reach the World Series since 1945. But it was no more stupid than Boston Manager Grady Little’s failure to replace an obviously flagging Pedro Martinez in Game 7 of the American League championship series. Little merely lost his job. Bartman, cast in the media as Chicago Public Enemy No. 1, offered a quick public apology, then felt the need to quickly relocate underground.

8. PEDRO VERSUS ZIMMER

Martinez didn’t distinguish himself in the playoffs, either. Before fatefully talking Little out of pulling him from Game 7 against New York, Martinez played matador in a pathetically one-sided Game 3 skirmish with 73-year-old Yankee coach Don Zimmer. Martinez won the bullfight but lost the war, failing to hold a lead in the eighth inning of Game 7, extending the Red Sox’s self-inflicted “curse” one more year.

9. NO MORE MAURICE

Running back Maurice Clarett might have set an NCAA record for listening to bad advice in 2003. He never played a down for Ohio State, crippling the Buckeyes’ hopes for a repeat national title, as he feuded with coaches, missed exams and was suspended from the school, spending what should have been his sophomore -- and Heisman-winning -- season suing the NFL in an attempt to make himself eligible for the 2004 draft. Maybe Al Davis will take him.

10. TRIPLE THREAT

First, Detroit Lion President Matt Millen gets fined $200,000 by the NFL for failing to interview a minority candidate for the team’s head coach vacancy. Then he insults former Lion Johnnie Morton by using a derisive term for gays. Finally, he watches the Lions break the league record with their 24th consecutive road defeat -- a streak that began with Millen’s hiring as Lion president. And in other heartening Detroit sports news, the Tigers went 43-119 in 2003.

-- Mike Penner