Ramsay Is Taking It One Pitch at a Time

San Diego Padre outfielder Mike Darr died in an Arizona automobile accident last spring. St. Louis Cardinal pitcher Darryl Kile died in his Chicago hotel room of heart failure last summer. Baltimore Oriole pitcher Steve Bechler died in Florida last week of heatstroke complicated by liver problems and the use of ephedra.

The baseball microcosm has never been immune to the reminders of life’s fragility.

This spring in the camp of the Padres, jarred a year ago by Darr’s death, the reminder takes the form of an inescapable scar, virtually ear to ear, across the top of pitcher Rob Ramsay’s head, as vicious looking as the official name of the cancer in his brain.

Glioblastoma multiforme.

“Not what you want to hear,” says Ramsay, who heard it from doctors in January 2002 and underwent a 10 1/2-hour operation that removed a large portion of a baseball-size mass -- but not all of it.

It is 13 months later, a warm and sunny Friday in February, only two days since the most recent of the chemotherapy treatments that Ramsay, who is 29 and who pitched in the major leagues with the Seattle Mariners in 1999 and 2000, undergoes every six weeks and he is sitting at his locker, smiling as he talks with a reporter, and dresses slowly in preparation for a workout in which he will throw batting practice -- a rite of spring that is so much more in his case.

It will be the first time he is on the mound against hitters since pitching a Pacific Coast League playoff game for Seattle’s triple-A team in September 2001.

It is a major step in his comeback, but then again it isn’t.

“I’ve been thinking of going back on the mound for over a year,” he says. “I still consider myself a major league pitcher. I still want to pitch. I mean, sitting out last year was tough, but it also put things in perspective. Baseball has always been very important to me, but there are things that are more important, particularly family and friends. My perspective has changed. Every day is a major step now. Hanging out with the guys in the clubhouse. Doing the boring drills that I used to hate. I don’t take anything for granted. I’m thankful for every day I get.”

The reality is a cliche. The reality is that the future is one day at a time. The Padres can’t tell him at what level he will open the season. The doctors can’t give him a prognosis. He was making strides physically last summer, getting to a point where he thought he was ready to return to uniform, when the magnetic resonance imaging test that he also undergoes every six weeks (along with the frequent blood tests) showed an expansion of the tumor, forcing a change in the chemo level and putting baseball on hold again.

“There is no magic pill, no cure that will make the cancer go away,” Ramsay says. “I have to pray that the right chemo treatment keeps it at bay. I have to stay positive, follow the doctor’s orders, and maintain my strong faith in the Lord. God has a plan greater than anything I can comprehend. It’s like I said, I’m just thankful for each day. I’ve got my life, my family and now baseball again.”

So, Ramsay returned to the mound for the first time Friday, wearing a plastic helmet but looking comfortable in his delivery and reaction with the protective screen that all pitchers use in BP, or as he said, “It’s nice to know you can still react. You don’t want to be chucking and ducking. I know I have a lot of work to do, but it felt great to be out there. It was kind of like going back to your childhood and playing the game for fun.”

The Padres claimed Ramsay on waivers after the 2001 season spent primarily at triple A. The former Washington State pitcher who was initially in the Boston Red Sox system had made 36 relief appearances with the Mariners in 1999 before going 10-11 with a 4.82 earned-run average in 26 starts at Tacoma in 2001.

It was while bird hunting with a friend in November of that year that Ramsay first experienced the headaches that prompted his wife, Samantha, to insist he see a doctor.

“I thought it was ridiculous to go to the doctor for a headache,” Ramsay said. “I figured they’d tell me to take an aspirin or Advil and get some rest, and, in fact, the first doctor I saw told me just that.”

The headaches persisted, and Ramsay learned why in January of the next year.

“People were surprised that I accepted it pretty matter-of-factly,” Ramsay said. “It was never ‘why me?’ or ‘poor me.’ I just wanted to know what needed to be done and to get on with it.”

Now, as Ramsay tries to get on with his career, tries to rebuild the strength and stamina that the chemo saps, among those providing support is Padre bullpen catcher Mark Merila, who had a benign brain tumor reduced by radiation while he was still playing about eight years ago and has not had a reoccurrence.

“Poster boys, huh?” Merila said as he and Ramsay played catch the other day, forming what Ramsay laughed and called “a rare combination.”

Later, Merila said, “To see Rob here and competing at this level after what he’s been through and what he continues to go through is pretty remarkable.”

Said Manager Bruce Bochy: “He’s been a real inspiration to everybody.”

Thirteen months after cancer intruded on his life and career, how sweet is that?

“It’s a great feeling to know you might be inspiring someone,” Ramsay said. “There are a lot of people who aren’t in the so-called spotlight, and I’m certainly not a superstar, but I’d definitely love to help out others who might be in similar circumstances.”

Others who might be coping with the reminder of life’s fragility.

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Arizona Highway ...

* Barry Bonds drew 198 walks last year, 68 intentional, and he says that his former San Francisco manager, Dusty Baker, better not start walking him intentionally now that he’s managing the Chicago Cubs. “If he does, I’ll just throw the bat in the dugout,” Bonds said, tongue believed to be in cheek during his annual Welcome to Camp news conference. “If he does, I’m going to bust him right in the eyeball, because he doesn’t intentionally walk hardly anybody. There were so many times we were like, ‘Walk him, walk him,’ and he wouldn’t do it. He better not walk me either.” Of course, the walks only slow Bonds, who turns 39 in July. They don’t stop him. Can he improve on two of the greatest offensive seasons in history? “No ... I’m not going to lie,” he said. “I just hope the expectations aren’t as high. But you know what? I’m always up for that challenge of what I can do.”

* Out of respect for Baker and the fact that “I’m 34, not 20,” Sammy Sosa reported with the rest of the Cub position players for the first time since 1997. “If things happened in the past, he’s trying to make amends, trying to be a better teammate,” Baker said. “He’s trying to get the team off on the right foot and knows he’s a big part of the atmosphere. He’s in great shape, and to me, that’s the big thing. I appreciate him coming in when he did, and I appreciate the fact he did it on his own. I didn’t solicit him.” Neither did Baker solicit some opening oratory from Sosa during the manager’s first meeting with the full squad, but Sosa joined in, talking about unity, supporting each other. Among those impressed was Eric Karros, who said: “Sammy coming in on time is important for the attitude Dusty is trying to create, and what Sammy said shows me a lot about his character.”

* Jerry Colangelo, managing general partner of the Arizona Diamondbacks, calls it “reaching out” and “changing the mentality” of today’s athletes, particularly his Diamondbacks, who will now be required to spend 10 minutes signing autographs before every home night game. Batting practice will start and end 10 minutes earlier to provide a window. The Diamondbacks won a World Series in 2001 and a division title last year, but season ticket sales are down 10%. “There was a time and place when athletes took a lot for granted, and maybe even organizations to some degree,” Colangelo said. “That can’t go on anymore. The fans are our lifeblood.”

* Carlos Beltran, a 25-year-old talent who toils in the losing obscurity of Kansas City, could look himself in the mirror after the Royals beat him in arbitration. Of course, $6 million can ease a lot of wounds, but Beltran had wanted $6.95 million and the arbitration process can find management heaping a lot of abuse on the player during the hearing. Beltran, however, checked into the club’s new training complex in Surprise, Ariz., on Tuesday and said: “I was expecting the worst and it wasn’t too bad. They’re trying to save money, so they have to talk, and they made some good points about my never being in an All-Star game, never winning a Gold Glove, never getting any MVP points. I just have to go out and change all of that.”