And His Favorite Character Is Jughead

Ernie Els had another member of the family last year, and it joined the Elses on every trip.

Me and My Claret Jug.

Naturally, it was quite an emotional parting when defending champion Els had to hand it back to British Open officials as this year’s event approached.

“And it’s been a real wrench, I can tell you. I mean this jug has probably traveled more this last year than it has in its history,” he told the British newspaper, The Guardian. “I just about didn’t let it out of my sight all year.”

Maybe he can do commercials, the way the NHL does with the minder of the Stanley Cup. At least Els didn’t have to talk his way past airport security because he travels in a private jet.

“It comes in a big metal case -- it looks quite ominous,” he said. “You could think I was traveling around with weapons of mass destruction or something.”

Trivia time: Who became the first cyclist to win the Tour de France three times?

Send in the stars: Or in the case of Major League Baseball, some stars. Syndicated columnist Norman Chad weighed in on the contradiction known as baseball’s All-Star game.

“This is an All-Star Game curiously lacking some all-time All-Stars,” he wrote. “For various reasons, Clemens, Rivera, Pedro Martinez, Manny Ramirez, Randy Johnson, Curt Schilling, Derek Jeter, Sammy Sosa, Ken Griffey, and Mike Piazza will be absent. Are these guys playing in some competing All-Star game on pay-per-view? Put me down for $4.95!”

Chad will be happy that Clemens was added to the American League team Monday.

Brandi redux: Brandi Chastain knows about the new FIFA rule, which bans soccer players from taking off their shirts after scoring. She knows and doesn’t want to cause problems at the upcoming World Cup, but ...

“If I was in the same situation as I was in ‘99, and hopefully will be in 2003 this fall when we play the World Cup, that shirt’s coming off,” she said Monday on NBC’s “Today.” “I don’t want to get into trouble, but I think celebration is all about spontaneity.”

Air Sandy: 2002 Ryder Cup captain Sam Torrance on Sandy Lyle’s range off the tee: “They serve drinks on some of the flights Sandy gets from his driver.”

Table for two: From comic Jerry Perisho, on the latest Clipper hire: “After meeting with Clippers’ notoriously cheap owner Donald Sterling, Mike Dunleavy was hired as the team’s new coach. Dunleavy got two things: a four-year contract and ... the bill for dinner.”

Chucky wisdom: One Super Bowl does not mean that Jon Gruden has started slacking off. According to the Tampa Tribune, he will set his alarm clock to 3:17 a.m. during training camp.

“You don’t want to get too full of yourself,” Gruden told Ira Kaufman of the Tribune. “I think what it does is it turns a coach into a big, red, fat tomato and people are just going to take a big bite out of you.”

Trivia answer: Philippe Thys won the prestigious race in 1913, 1914 and 1920.

And finally: Klaw, the Orlando Predator mascot, to the Orlando Sentinel on falling: “I don’t know what it is about mascots. Fans just love to see mascots take a fall. Hey, I go through five chest protectors a year.”