Down the Stretch They Come, Spokes and All

It’s a horse race, this bike race.

For the first time during the Lance Armstrong dynasty, the Tour de France remains undecided entering the final Saturday and could go down to the final Sunday. Or, as the Outdoor Life Network, riding this unexpectedly close competition to its best Tour ratings yet, has taken to touting it:

“After two thousand miles, just [65] seconds separate Lance Armstrong and his closest competitor, Jan Ullrich!”

(Camera close-ups of Lance and Jan pedaling and grimacing.)

“The entire Tour hinges on Stage 19, Saturday’s individual time trial!”

(Camera close-ups of Lance and Jan looking very, very determined.)

“Can Lance complete his quest for five?”

(There goes Lance again, pedaling some more.)

“Will perennial bridesmaid Ullrich ascend to yellow?”

(Close-up of Jan and Lance on the victory stand. Jan looks at Lance’s yellow leader’s jersey. Jan looks very envious.)

“Mano a mano! Lance versus Jan! In the Race of Truth!”

By the time the commercial careens to a finish, your pulse has quickened, your adrenaline is pumping and, quite frankly, you’re not sure if you can handle the Race of Truth.

Or the start time -- 6 o’clock this morning, PDT.

OLN will also air replays at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. for those who prefer their Race of Truth over brunch. Sunday, OLN hands off to CBS -- and what will CBS do if it suddenly has a real race on its hands?

During previous Armstrong victories, the CBS recipe for the final Sunday has been consistent: A travelogue on spoked wheels, heavy on the human interest, heavier on the swelling orchestra strings, with a bit of Armstrong clowning around as he polishes off a foregone conclusion, as well as a celebratory flute of champagne as he churns leisurely through the French countryside en route to his inevitable coronation in Paris.

Each of Armstrong’s first four Tour triumphs have been by more than six minutes. Routs, in other words. But Armstrong begins today’s time trial -- where riders race against the clock, not one another -- leading Ullrich by only 65 seconds. In a time trial last week, Ullrich beat Armstrong by 96 seconds.

It has been intriguing, it has been unpredictable and, for OLN, it has been a nice break from such customary fare as The Running of the Bulls And the Goring of the Humans.

Also available for viewing in the days ahead:

*

TODAY

* WNBA: New York at Houston

(Channel 7, 1 p.m.)

Proving that the NBA hasn’t cornered the market on off-the-court stupidity, Sue Bird of the WNBA’s Seattle Storm made a wager with a sports radio talk-show host that she would finish the season with twice as many assists as turnovers. If Bird won the bet, the host, Mitch Levy of Seattle’s KJR-AM, would have had to buy Storm season tickets. If Bird lost, she would have allowed Levy to spank her on his program.

This was typical sports-radio fare, but a new low for the WNBA, which markets itself as wholesome family entertainment. When state Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles suggested the bet might be “very hurtful, not just to the WNBA, but to other women and girls,” Bird canceled the wager and apologized.

Bird, 22, says she was just trying to get that ever-important 18-to-35-year-old male demographic interested in the WNBA. Lessons to be learned? There are several. Including: Sports talk radio will never learn.

* Fernando Vargas vs. Fitz Vanderpool

(HBO, 9:45 p.m., tape delayed)

Vargas returns to the ring after a nine-month steroid suspension. Delayed another three hours so HBO can first air “Undefeated,” a new boxing movie featuring John Leguizamo fighting Chris Rock, Bill Maher and Ali G ... no, no, he’s actually fighting other actors pretending to look like real welterweights. Sugar Ray Leonard caught an advance screening and gave TV Guide this scouting report on Leguizamo: “John reminds me of an amateur who keeps pushing his way through the ranks. But he should stick to acting and comedy.”

*

SUNDAY

* Baseball Hall of Fame

Induction Ceremony

(ESPN Classic, 10:30 a.m.)

Eddie Murray and Gary Carter enter the Hall together. Wonder who will give the longest speech?

* CONCACAF Gold Cup Final

(Channel 34, 10 a.m.)

That’s Mexico against Brazil’s under-23 team, which advanced to the championship game by defeating the United States, 2-1, in the semifinals. Brazil’s varsity is ranked No. 1 in the world, the United States ninth. Where do the Brazilian under-23s rank? Evidently, eighth.

* Manchester United vs. Club America

(Fox Sports World,

Fox Sports Espanol, 4 p.m.)

For those who’d rather not drive to the Coliseum and pay $40 to watch the team David Beckham used to play for.

* New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox

(ESPN, 5 p.m.)

Where have all the great baseball rivalries gone? The Giants lead the Dodgers by 11 games in the standings. Yankees-Red Sox? Oh, they still talk a good game. Roger Clemens can blaspheme Red Sox Nation by saying he wants to enter the Hall of Fame as a Yankee. Red Sox President Larry Lucchino can understate George Steinbrenner’s impact on the game of baseball by calling the Yankees “the evil empire.” Bottom line still reads: World Series championships won since the Babe Ruth deal -- Yankees 26, Red Sox 0. Meanwhile, at 11 a.m. on WGN, it’s the Cubs and the Astros.

*

MONDAY

* “Battle At The Bridges”

(Channel 7, 5 p.m.)

Tiger Woods and Ernie Els versus Phil Mickelson and Sergio Garcia in a made-for-TV exhibition that sounds more like made-for-ESPN-Classic, considering recent results at the majors. Warm nostalgia will embrace Rancho Santa Fe for an evening while millions of viewers will no doubt ponder and wonder how Rich Beem and Mike Weir might have fared against Jim Furyk and Ben Curtis.