Superior Surfing Is Found in Minnesota

Joe Stein in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “A band of misdirected beach boys has taken to the shores of Two Harbors, Minn., this winter to hang 10 on the waves of Lake Superior.

“Surfers arrive before sunrise, their boards piled in the backs of SUVs and vans, their Thermoses filled with hot coffee. They come dressed in thick, hooded wet suits, which, along with necessary neoprene booties and gloves, will protect them from water only a degree away from freezing.

“Vaseline is smeared on the only exposed skin -- around the eyes, nose and mouth -- to repel water and keep it from freezing to the face.”

For lifelong Southern Californians, we can only shudder.

Trivia time: What is the NBA record for most consecutive home losses at the start of a season?

Cool it: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Memo to Barry Bonds: A golf hustler once told me he had two swings -- one with a ghastly loop, to set the hook, the other a sweet stroke to close the deal.

“The moral: Stop hitting spring homers! You’re putting the opposition on orange alert. Whiff, dribble, flail. Save the ‘A’ swing for the privacy of the indoor batting cage.”

Do you agree? Natalie Gulbis, LPGA Tour player and a former gymnastics competitor as a junior, on which sport is more difficult: “Making a three-foot putt is a sight easier than landing a back flip on a four-inch beam.”

Defensive struggle: Two shots from Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News:

“Final score from the Tennessee state girls basketball playoffs: Chester County 7, McNairy County 4 -- in overtime.”

Inflation: “The team the Florida Marlins ‘bought’ to win the world championship in 1997 cost $53 million, just $3 million less than it’ll cost for them to finish below .500 this season.”

Not particular: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “The golden oldie quote du jour: Clint Hurdle on Vladimir Guerrero, the best bad-ball hitter in the business: ‘He’s got a strike zone from his toenails to his eyeballs.’ ”

Childish: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “In a fit of pique, St. Bonaventure’s men’s basketball team decided not to play its final two games because it had to forfeit six conference wins for using an ineligible player.

“One guy gets bumped and everybody quits? Hope the Bonnies took their mouthpieces out like Clifford Etienne before they hit the canvas.”

Trivia answer: 19, by Dallas, Nov. 6, 1993 to Jan. 24, 1994.

And finally: Stephen A. Smith of the Philadelphia Inquirer commenting on the Lakers’ Kobe Bryant: “To know [him], it’s necessary to comprehend only three things: He is arguably the best basketball player in the world, playing for the best team. He knows it.

“That’s pretty much all he wants anyone to know about him...

“Like Laker-haters everywhere, most Philadelphians are not much interested in knowing anything more than they have to about Bryant.

“The way he has been playing, however, has left them little choice but to learn.”

-- Mal Florence