You Want a Neutral Site? Try Switzerland

The concept of neutral sites at the NCAA men’s basketball tournament will be put on pause Friday when Connecticut plays Texas in a Sweet 16 game at San Antonio.

Hartford Courant columnist Jeff Jacobs was ready with a few one-liners about the game’s “neutral” site:

* “That’s a joke, a joke as funny as a Texan saying, ‘Heck, I was born in a hospital bigger than Connecticut.’

* “The last time so many Texans jammed into one building, the mechanical bull didn’t work again for a month.”

More Connecticut: Coach Jim Calhoun, on losses by Arizona and Stanford to UCLA and USC at the Pacific 10 Conference tournament at Staples Center: “It’s like coaches complaining about postseason tournaments within their league and then both teams get beat in the first round. I try to be more pragmatic about it and say I don’t like it, but if we can hear 35,000 silent people that would be fun.”

More Texas: Longhorn Coach Rick Barnes, asked on “Best Damn Sports Show Period” if he feels threatened by the fact that all the other teams left in his region have coaches who have won an NCAA championship: “Maybe they will roll over and let me have it.”

Trivia time: Who was the first coach of the Minnesota North Stars?

Oscar quiz: Vinnie Iyer of the Sporting News gave a few hints about several Oscar-nominated movies and, of course, incorporated sports:

* “Time that elapses between Steve Trachsel’s pitches ... ‘The Hours.’

* “A Red Sox fan’s worst nightmare ... ‘Gangs of New York.’

* “David Wells’ autobiography vs. Davis Wells’ real life ... ‘Adaptation.’ ”

Last quack: Columnist Jerry Greene of the Orlando Sentinel: “You knew things looked bad for Oregon in its NCAA opener against Utah when the guy in the duck suit got ejected. Hey, when you lose your duck, it’s all downhill after that.”

Juggling act: Andy Graves, the team manager for Chip Ganassi Racing, gives new meaning to the word “multi-tasking,” holding several jobs under one title.

“It’s my job to keep everyone’s environment right,” Graves told Associated Press. “I kind of think of it as a part-time baby-sitter, part-time bartender. I have to listen to everyone’s problems and make sure everyone gets along.”

Out of bounds: Jack Nicklaus is an accommodating guy, but he wouldn’t sign a U.S. flag thrust at him by a fan last week at the Bay Hill Invitational.

“You don’t sign an American flag,” Nicklaus said. “That’s not what you do.”

Looking back: On this day in 1998, Michael Jordan scored 34 points to lead the Chicago Bulls to an 89-74 victory over the Atlanta Hawks before 62,046 at the Georgia Dome, the largest crowd in NBA history.

Trivia answer: Wren Blair. He was also the team’s general manager.

And finally: John Branch of the Fresno Bee, on former Fresno State coach Jerry Tarkanian: “Tarkanian arrived with more baggage than Lovey on ‘Gilligan’s Island.’ ”