TWO-MINUTE DRILL

Baltimore 26, Denver 6: See, that’s why Danny Kanell was the third-string quarterback.

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Chicago 24, Detroit 16: What do you expect when your starting quarterback is named Joey?

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Cincinnati 27, Seattle 24: That sound you hear is Corey Dillon’s career as a Bengal crashing.

Tenn. 30, Jacksonville 17: Jack Del Rio obviously soaked up a lot of coaching knowledge from Ted Tollner.

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N.Y. Giants 29, Minn. 17: Tiki Barber passes Frank Gifford in Giant record book. Wonder if Kathie Lee is mad.

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Carolina 23, New Orleans 20: Panthers led by Stephen Davis, coached by John Fox. Who are these guys?

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St. Louis 33, Pitt. 21: The Rams couldn’t beat the Steelers in 1980, when it counted. Thanks for nothing.

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Tampa Bay 16, Dallas 0: Warren Sapp’s open audition for Vince McMahon continues.

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New England 9, Cleveland 3: Soccer fans watch games like this wondering why their sport gets a bad rap.

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Arizona 16, San Francisco 13: They made a big deal about Bo Jackson, but Tim Duncan goes unnoticed.

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Indianapolis 30, Houston 21: Who would have guessed that Tony Banks is still in the league?

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Phila. 24, N.Y. Jets 17: Pres. Bush orders Pennington to play because he hates to leave a hanging Chad.

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Kansas City 38, Buffalo 5: Five points? That’s like the $2 bill. It looks funny and is worth little.

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Miami vs. San Diego at Tempe, Ariz., tonight, 6, Ch. 7: Stadium will probably be almost empty. Just like it is for Cardinal games.

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Open: Atlanta, Green Bay, Oakland, Washington.

-- Houston Mitchell