THE TIMES’ RANKINGS

*--* No School (Rec) Comment 1 MIAMI 4-0 Team uses off week to floss and pick Boston College out of its teeth. 2 OKLAHOMA 4-0 Angry backup QB transfers after being only Sooner not to score against UCLA. 3 USC 3-0 Larry King says “watch out for Cal”; also his favorite Johnny Cash song is “Ring of Fire.” 4 OHIO STATE 4-0 Coach signs razor-blade deal in which he proclaims himself the king of close shaves. 5 VIRGINIA TECH 3-0 Team now 1-0 in games decided by 50 mph winds and horizontal rain. 6 FLORIDA STATE 4-0 Rix gets another ticket for parking car in head coach’s cement pond. 7 TENNESSEE 3-0 This week’s opponent coach (Holtz) says Vols remind him a bit of 1966 Packers. 8 LOUISIANA STATE 4-0 Team moves seamlessly from one Bulldog (Georgia) to another (Mississippi State). 9 ARKANSAS 3-0 Rankman hears Wes Clark will ask Houston Nutt to join him on Dem ticket. 10 OREGON 4-0 Perfectly good start to season jinxed by Sports Illustrated cover. 11 MICHIGAN 4-1 Nike can’t get school to scrap famous “winged” helmet logo for swoosh. 12 IOWA 4-0 Big, tough, corn-fed, salt-of-the-earth ... and that’s just the pep band. 13 GEORGIA 3-1 So many on-field injuries school fires UGA and hires a Saint Bernard. 14 TEXAS 2-1 Rice players were not asked if they preferred to be steamed or stir-fried. 15 NEBRASKA 3-0 Lincoln diner names dish after star ‘D’ coordinator; “Pelini with clams.” 16 WASHINGTON STATE 3-1 Teary-eyed Rankman confesses on Dr. Phil he was wrong about Matt Kegel. 17 WASHINGTON 2-1 Was that really Rick Neuheisel at the Oregon game wearing a Duck cap? 18 PITTSBURGH 2-1 Only too happy to escape three-game MAC gantlet with winning record. 19 TEXAS CHRISTIAN 3-0 Team should be able to play leap-frog this weekend against Arizona. 20 NORTHERN ILLINOIS 3-0 Located in DeKalb, Ill., heretofore known as birthplace of barbed wire. 21 MISSOURI 4-0 OT win over Middle Tennessee has team dreaming of low-level bowl. 22 MARSHALL 2-2 Huge win over K-State prompts Randy Moss to admit he went to Marshall. 23 KANSAS STATE 4-1 Dr. Franken-Snyder retreats to lab to cook new nonconference experiment. 24 PURDUE 2-1 Danger is looking past Notre Dame toward big Oct. 4 game vs. Illinois. 25 MINNESOTA 4-0 Four wins over tomato cans earn team WBA lightweight belt.

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