In a Nutshell, O’Neal Could Hurt the Lakers

The Lakers’ romp was predictable, but at some point in the next few playoff weeks, it’s going to come down to a point, and Shaquille O’Neal.

Now here’s the deal. If you log on to www.planters.com, scroll down to “chances to win,” click the doohickey that says, “You could instantly win tickets to the NCAA Men’s 2005 Final Four,” register and then watch Mr. Peanut try a free throw and miss badly -- you’ll get the feeling what it’s really like to be Shaq.

According to the rules, the odds of Mr. Peanut making a free throw and allowing someone to win a trip to the Final Four, are 150,000 to 1, or the same odds you’d probably give Shaq these days to make a free throw.

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LARRY YELLS, who e-mailed with the Mr. Peanut tip, said he’s really down on Shaq but admitted he has hung in there every day for the last two months with Mr. Peanut, “even though I’ve never seen Mr. Peanut make a free throw.”

Mr. Peanut can see out of only one eye, leans on a cane and was born in 1916, but when I got the chance to send him to the free-throw line in Monday’s contest, I really thought he might make it. Can’t say I ever feel that way about Shaq.

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SHAQ MADE 331 free throws this season. And missed 345.

Bill Sharman, Hall of Famer, all-around nice guy and one of the NBA’s all-time great free-throw shooters, would be happy to lend his expertise, but he’s never been asked. Never been asked.

In fact, there’s a wonderful story in “Chick,” the new book on the Laker broadcaster written by Times’ staff writer Steve Springer, that has Chick Hearn betting Magic Johnson $5 on Magic’s first rookie day in camp that he couldn’t beat Sharman shooting free throws.

(By the way, anyone who wants a copy of “Chick” should e-mail Springer at steve.springer@latimes.com; I’m sure he’ll hand-deliver it.)

As the story goes, Chick asked Magic to go first, and Magic knocked down something like 14 or 15 out of 20. Sharman then stepped up and hit his first 16 attempts, prompting Magic to surrender. And Sharman has never been asked.

“Some people think I’ve been working with Shaq,” Sharman said, and you can understand why he’d like to make it clear he’s never worked with the Big Klutz.

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SHAQ CAME into this playoff game having made 15 of his last 52 free-throw attempts, and then added two more misses in the first half before hitting one in the third quarter. Early foul trouble kept Shaq on the bench and off the free-throw line, and a huge effort from Derek Fisher negated any attempt Houston might have made late to foul Shaq and keep it close.

It’s the perfect Laker game plan: Keep Shaq off the free-throw line, but it’s probably not going to go that way most playoff nights.

Tom Amberry, who resides in Seal Beach, made a Guinness Book of Records 2,750 consecutive free throws in 1993 at age 71, and stopped only because they had to close the gym. He’s made 500 consecutive free throws on 441 occasions, and he’s still giving clinics. He’d be happy to help Shaq, he said, but he’s never been asked.

“They have so many people bugging him, so I haven’t bothered him,” said Amberry, who recently, at age 81, beat a robot on the Discovery Channel in a free-throw shooting contest. “I know he has my book and video, but I’ve never heard from him. I could help, but I heard Bill Sharman was helping him, and Sharman is my idol.”

“Oh no,” insisted Sharman, “I’ve never helped Shaq,” and you can see what that kind of rumor might do to someone’s basketball resume.

P.S.: Amberry’s grandson, Clint, is a 6-foot-9 freshman at Ocean View High, and so I asked co-Seahawk coach, Jim Harris Jr., how the kid was doing as a free-throw shooter. “He could be doing better,” Harris said.

Is he better than Shaq?

“Who isn’t?” Harris said.

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A REPRESENTATIVE for singer Beyonce called the Lakers and wanted a courtside seat for the game with the Rockets. When told there were none available, the rep said, “We’re talking Beyonce here.”

Let me just say this, at no time did the Lakers think of asking Jack Nicholson to give his seat to Beyonce. Maybe it explains why Beyonce elected not to come to the game.

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PLAYBOY’S HUGH HEFNER was a guest of Laker owner Jerry Buss. The Lakers were told that Hefner would be bringing “10 or 11” of his friends; no indication which month or months were left behind.

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IT’S TOO close to call when trying to determine which of the following two players best represents today’s athletes.

New England Patriot Ty Law, arrested after driving away from police and then running from them on foot, told police when apprehended “not to touch him because he is a professional athlete.”

Meanwhile, in Chicago, first baseman Frank Thomas, who is being paid $6 million this year, told Joe Crowley of the Daily Southtown, “After the year I had last year, it’s a little disappointing come the 1st and 15th [paydays], but I’m going to keep on ticking.”

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THE DODGERS begin today with the best record in baseball. I’ve also seen Sports Editor Bill Dwyre birdie the first hole.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Tito Agena:

“It’s funny that the only negative comments you seem to find about the Dodgers are about the owner and where he buys a house. I guess being in first place and having baseball’s best record makes it hard to criticize their play on the field.”

I can wait.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.