Now’s the Time for Angels to Make Their Fever Pitch

I rushed down to Angel Stadium on Thursday afternoon because a night earlier I had heard broadcaster Rex Hudler say, “Playoff fever, the Halos are getting it.”

What a treat, I thought, to see the Angels play like the Dodgers.

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I RAN into Tim Mead, the guy in charge of the Angels’ public image, and he said things were going so good in Halo Land that the team’s two Trappist Monks, Bengie Molina and Jose Guillen, who had sworn to never talk to the media again because one of them didn’t like being called fat and the other didn’t consider himself a malcontent after skipping a team meeting, were now talking again.

Unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to chat with the fat catcher after the game because I spent so much time with the pudgy manager, but I noticed the malcontent outfielder was answering every question the pretty woman from Fox was asking.

“Are you having fun?” she asked, and I had no idea she had been trained by Stu Nahan.

Well, there was no shutting up the malcontent, who just gushed until the TV camera was shut off, and it was my turn.

I said, “hello,” and the malcontent said he wasn’t talking to reporters, which explains, I guess, why he was talking to someone from Fox.

On occasion I find some people don’t want to talk with me, but I had never met the malcontent. I wanted to say hello and told him I was under the impression he was talking again, but he said he was talking only to the pretty woman from Fox, and anyone who saw my picture in the paper last week knows I don’t have a chance if it comes down to pretty.

“I’m not talking any more,” he said, so I told him I’d alert folks in the paper that the malcontent didn’t want to be bothered, and he said, “You can put whatever you want in the newspaper.”

I always appreciate it when an athlete gives me permission to call him a Lunkhead, so I thanked him, and he shot back, “If I don’t feel like talking to someone, I don’t have to talk.”

Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Both the fat catcher and the Lunkhead are on my fantasy baseball team, and the Lunkhead had hit a homer against Baltimore, and I just wanted to thank him. But instead, he goes out of his way to rub it in, and make sure I know I’m not pretty.

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THERE’S NO question I’ve done wonders for the Choking Dogs. I probably deserve full credit for giving them a good reason to prove everyone wrong and make the playoffs, but I don’t see any reason to make a big deal out of some of the things that have been written just to fire them up.

(A few more things probably should be said, though, to Darren Dreifort before I wrap up my work with the Dodgers.)

For the most part I’ve ignored the Angels because by and large no one cares about them. But this season they raised expectations, slapped big red “A’s” on L.A.-area landmarks, and have now drawn more than 2.3 million fans to Angel Stadium.

In return, the lackluster Angels have won five more games at home than they have lost, and although still very much in the playoff hunt, put them up against the Dodgers and they should be ashamed of themselves.

Thursday afternoon they played for three hours and fifteen minutes against a crummy team and scored one run. I guess that’s what you’d expect from a team stricken by playoff fever a night earlier.

I mentioned my disappointment to Angel Manager Mike Scioscia, and asked if it was time for me to do some name-calling to fire up the guys, and he said, “Would it matter if I said no?”

I thought he’d be more appreciative. A few weeks ago I referred to Bartolo Colon as the Angels’ Bobblebelly, and in response, the Bobblebelly posted six consecutive wins before obviously going on a hot dog binge before losing Thursday’s game.

“Yeah, he put on weight since his last start and that’s why he struggled,” Scioscia said, and I can’t remember the last time a manager agreed with me.

As flat as the Angels appear, it’s pretty obvious now they need the Page 2 treatment. “Any time you don’t hit, a team looks flat,” Scioscia said, and he could use a little work on his postgame quotes too.

The Angels lead the league in hitting but still lack that pizazz the Dodgers have -- that “in your face” swagger that comes from being ridiculed and then winning. The Dodgers appear to be on a mission. I know how important it is that Garret Anderson look cool at all times, but how about making a concession and looking alive too?

The 2002 Angels followed the lead of the Rally Monkey, and although that rankled them, there’s no doubt they fed off that energy.

They need someone to step forward now and goose them, and while I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, I might have to start picking on the Angels too. At the very least, because I can’t talk to them, maybe it’ll fire up the fat catcher and the malcontent outfielder, and get my fantasy team going.

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THE U.S. delegation for the Games in Greece includes Alex, the oldest Spanos Goof, the owner of the Chargers, and President Bush’s twin daughters. There is no telling how wild those parties are going to be.

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IT WAS nice to hear Tom Kelly’s voice on KTLA’s broadcast of the Ram game Thursday night. I had no idea he was still alive.

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TERRELL OWENS implied in a Playboy interview that Jeff Garcia is gay, which is odd when you consider that Owens spent much of his time in San Francisco complaining that Garcia didn’t seem to find him the most attractive target.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.