She’s Hoping Not to Be Stood Up by the Lakers

The sixth game of the playoff series between the Lakers and the San Antonio Spurs will be played in Staples Center on Saturday.

I know this because the daughter who can’t get a date asked if I could get two tickets for her and a male friend to go to the game. My first thought, of course, was to ignore her request figuring there won’t be a sixth game.

But then the shock of what the daughter had told me began to sink in: She wanted two tickets for her and a male friend, which is almost like a date or as close as she’s going to come to getting one, which means the Lakers have just got to win two of the next three so she can get the feeling of what it’s like to almost go out on a date.

Then I can let the Lakers know where she’ll be sitting, so they can put her on the Kiss Cam and maybe get her a little action.

I know how hopeless it sounds.

After all, we’re all pretty much in agreement at this point that Gary Payton should take the floor wearing a bib; there are people in jail who have stolen much less money than Devean George has taken from the Lakers; Shaquille O’Neal’s relatives, most of the Los Angeles media and Phil Jackson don’t like Kobe Bryant; Bryant shoots too much, doesn’t shoot enough, and if you write that in the newspaper he will never talk to you again.

Some folks are predicting a sweep, and many of them live among us.

And I’m pretty sure a lot of people would agree that if you throw in -- or for that matter throw out -- Slava Medvedenko, Derek Fisher and Rick Fox, there’s not much there to inspire.

But all that could change today, beginning with an inspirational national anthem, one of the best renditions I think you will ever hear in Staples Center. This is one game to arrive early so you do not miss the performance of 14-year-old Joelle James.

She sang the anthem at a Dodger game two years ago, easily the best performance all season by singer, hitter or pitcher. If she gives the Lakers goose bumps today, and gets them rolling like I think she will, I’d expect the Lakers to invite her back to put away the Spurs in Game 6.

Now don’t misunderstand, I have no great love for the Laker Crybabies and the way they sleep-walked through the regular season, but I remember a time when it was enough to say the Lakers had Shaq & Kobe and no one else in the NBA had a chance. What fun, and entertainment.

Last I checked, Shaq & Kobe remain employed by the Lakers, although admittedly the fun and entertainment isn’t always there.

Some people think the ego-conflicted twosome might be together for only two more games, but I’m counting on at least four more games.

And why not? I don’t subscribe to the theory the Lakers’ sky is falling, or that Jackson has suddenly forgotten how to win championships, or no longer cares. Maybe Kobe is worn out, as some suggest, and there’s no question Shaq would miss the Pacific Ocean if he were standing on the edge of the Santa Monica Pier and someone told him he was shooting a free throw.

But let’s go to the videotape: The Lakers were in fourth-quarter position to steal a victory in both games in San Antonio, and if they make it a best-two-out-of-three series with two straight wins in Staples Center, the pressure shifts back to San Antonio in Game 5.

I know the Lakers were right here a year ago, and the Spurs were up to the challenge, but I wonder about Shaq & Kobe & Jackson, and if there’s a feeling among these competitors that their time together might be running out.

If so, I’d expect to get the very best from the very best, and be honest, if I told you the Lakers would get the very best that Shaq & Kobe & Jackson have to offer, you’d probably be telling me San Antonio doesn’t have a chance.

Well, I know today’s game will begin with Joelle James giving her very best. I see no reason why Shaq & Kobe & Jackson can’t follow in these next two games in Staples, so we can all have a date to look forward to come Saturday.

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YOU CAN’T really argue with the Clippers’ decision to raise ticket prices by $5. They did win one more game than last season.

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FOR THE second straight year, Hollywood Park asked Times handicapper Bob Mieszerski, a.k.a. Misery, to match wits with the Times’ Page 2 columnist -- Mr. Ed versus Smarty Jones, if you will. A year ago, Mr. Ed, ah, Misery went zero for 10, while Page 2 won three races and turned a nice profit.

On Saturday, Misery went two for 10, and if you wagered $2 on each of his miserable selections, you lost $9.20, a total of $29.20 the last two years. If you wagered $2 on each of Page 2’s picks, you finished up another $3 and more than $34 the last two years.

It might be time for Mr. Ed to remove the blinkers.

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JUST HAPPENED to run into Toby Turrell, who puts out “Winners,” the best Hollywood Park tip sheet, day in and day out, who suggested taking Pohave in The Times Handicap. I like the way the guy acted after being told that I’d make fun of him every day that I wrote for the next year if he didn’t give me a winning horse to beat Misery. I hope he knew I was just kidding.

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MATT MISERY, Mieszerski’s 12-year-old son who plays for the Mountains Little League Angels, struck out 17 batters this season in a six-inning game, which goes to show you there is some talent in that family. The good news: The Angels are 7-0. The bad news: Misery is picking them to go all the way.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.