A Sterling Off-Season May Be Key to City

Donald T. Sterling

Sterling World Plaza

Beverly Hills, Calif.

Dear Donald,

Forgive me for being out of touch, but, for a change, you weren’t the leading blight on the local professional basketball scene.

Congratulations on a nice season. I know you just want to win and you can’t understand why it hasn’t happened. However, you actually made progress and would have made more if all your guards hadn’t gotten hurt.

They’re the relatively short players, the ones who throw the ball to the big guys.

I know you aren’t going to believe this, but I’ve got good news. You da bomb!

No, that’s what young people say about something good. No, I have no idea where they get that stuff from. It would be nice if they just said what they meant, like when we were young and we said it was real cool, daddy-o.

No, it’s true, this could be your town next season. You’re the one with the roster loaded with big, young, hard-working guys just coming into their own. The Lakers have the roster loaded with shooting guards and small forwards.

Now, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I have to tell you, people around here aren’t enchanted to hear you’re their best bet. Look at it from their standpoint. Every year you lost and the Lakers won. If you were a fan, what would you think?

However, if it’s a year from now and you’re in the playoffs and the Lakers aren’t, you’d be amazed what would happen. This isn’t New York or Chicago, where people keep coming out of habit or stupidity, especially at these prices. We’re front-runners and proud of it.

If you actually won a playoff series, Jay Leno might even have you on, instead of doing Clipper jokes. You can tell him how you always just wanted to win. He’ll really get a laugh out of that.

Not only that, if you have a good season, more people will come to your games and you’ll make more money. This is how the other owners do it.

Yes, I know you’ve made more money than they have. On the other hand, the only ones who haven’t won more than you are Bob Johnson of Charlotte, who has an expansion franchise, and Dan Gilbert of Cleveland, who has been in the league for six weeks.

However, it won’t be easy. You’re in the West, which means you could win 10 more games than you will this season and still not make it.

This is a situation the Lakers are just beginning to come to grips with. “Pretty good” doesn’t mean much in a conference in which seven teams may win 50 games this season.

Check the standings. That’s the list of teams with their records that runs in the newspaper every day. There are nine teams ahead of you and only eight make the playoffs. Minnesota may go back to 50 wins just by dumping their pouting guards. Golden State, which is below you, is 16-8 since April 1 with Baron Davis.

Unfortunately, you have a part to play and decisions to make. There aren’t very many decisions and an eighth-grader could make them, but I think we should go over them.

You have to re-sign Bobby Simmons and Marko Jaric. Bobby is that tough young man who impressed Michael Jordan so much when they were with the Wizards, and that was before Bobby learned to shoot. Marko is the one from Europe.

Marko has been hurt a lot, but even if the price gets north of $2.5 million, pay it. He can play either guard spot, which is a good thing.

Bobby will command $5 million a year or more, but give it to him. I know that’s a total of $7.5 million, but let’s be real. In six seasons in Staples, you’ve made at least $50 million, so let’s not be low-balling Bobby and Marko, heading for the south of France and leaving word you’ll get to this in September.

You could still use a shooting guard, but the big free agents are longshots. When Seattle’s Ray Allen was asked if there were teams he wouldn’t go to, guess which one he named. Milwaukee’s Michael Redd didn’t say anything about you, but did reportedly tell the Bucks that he’ll stay.

Next in line are Phoenix’s Joe Johnson, Sacramento’s Cuttino Mobley and Washington’s Larry Hughes. Johnson would be the one, but he’s restricted and the Suns say they’ll keep him. Nevertheless, your depth should make you the big player in any sign-and-trade scenario.

I know this is a lot of pressure, but these aren’t the good old days when you could run your team into the ground and no one cared.

Good luck. Everyone around here is (shudder) counting on you.

Yours forever,

Mark

P.S. This is just some stuff from around the league your fans might be interested in:

That’s entertainment: The Cavaliers are going down the chute under dynamic new owner Gilbert, who took over March 1, just in time to wreck them. The Cavaliers have lost seven of 10 to fall to No. 8 with the Nets a game back, an easier schedule and the tiebreaker, having won the season series.... Meanwhile, the Knicks are licking their chops at the prospect of wooing away LeBron James, who last week complained about Gilbert’s late-season shakeup. “We lost our coach [Paul Silas],” James said. “We get new players, we get new ownership and now Pax [General Manager John Paxson] might be getting fired. It’s been difficult. We just stopped playing our No. 1 point guard [Jeff McInnis, who was benched by interim Coach Brendan Malone] for no reason and as a team we didn’t know why. The chemistry has all been shifted. That bothered me. You got him [McInnis] sitting on the bench and we’re losing.” ... Then Knick fan Spike Lee, who shoots commercials for Nike, said James has a clause in his $103-million deal with the company, paying even more if James becomes a Knick. Said James’ agent, Aaron Goodwin, to the New York Post in what didn’t sound like a denial: “When you have a contract like that, you look for every edge, every angle.” ... With panic about to break out in the streets of Cleveland, Goodwin then lectured the press (“The problem with journalism nowadays is that people write things based on rumors and innuendoes”) and James assured everyone he’s staying (“The fans in the city of Cleveland have nothing to worry about at this point. I’m here.”). ... Whew! Thanks, but what does “at this point” mean? ... Then Gilbert lectured the press, pounding his fist into his hand for emphasis, exclaiming, “Let’s get it right, LeBron is here for three more years. People don’t understand the collective bargaining agreement or how it works.” ... We understand it will be three years of rumor and innuendo, after which James will go bye-bye unless Gilbert learns which end is up fast.

Oops: Closing in on the No. 4 seeding after six seasons out of the playoffs, the Bulls were stunned at the news that Eddy Curry’s irregular heartbeat, which the club had been told wasn’t serious, will end his season. With rookie Luol Deng also done for the season with a broken wrist and Atlanta targeting Curry and Tyson Chandler as restricted free agents, the Bulls’ rebuilding project remains in peril.

Son of Mr. Clutch: Going out the way he came in, Reggie Miller scored seven points in the last 2:22 to bring the Pacers from six points behind against New Jersey for their eighth win in nine games, putting star-crossed Indiana into the playoffs. “I’m so excited, I feel like I won the lottery,” Miller said. “A lot of people probably wrote us off after what happened in Detroit. It easily could have been a death sentence for this franchise.”

Before New Jersey trounced New York in their final meeting, Jason Kidd said the Knicks were “another bad team,” which was payback for Stephon Marbury’s announcement this season that he was the league’s best point guard. “Everyone knows what that was aimed at,” Net President Rod Thorn said. “[Kidd] is like an elephant, he doesn’t forget anything.” ... What rivalry? Since Kidd arrived in the fall of 2001, it’s Nets 13, Knicks 3.

Scoop: In this era in which everyone takes awards so seriously, the newest game for reporters, who are designated by the NBA to select the winners, is polling one another and announcing the results before the league does. In case you were wondering, Shaquille O’Neal will be the most valuable player and Emeka Okafor will be rookie of the year.