What Gives Drivers a License to Kill?

I refuse to move out of the way when someone decides I’m not driving fast enough to suit them and flashes their lights or tailgates me. To the contrary, it’s more likely to send me into Operation Slowdown.

That probably means that, somewhere out there, there’s a bullet with my name on it.

Freeway shootings are popular again in Southern California, having one of their periodic spasms of increased public participation. The Times reported this week that five shootings in recent weeks have led the California Highway Patrol to increase its presence on the freeways. The toll: four dead, one wounded.

There’s nothing new under the sun to say about nuts with guns. Those who fire from moving vehicles are still a relatively rare breed, but doesn’t it seem to you that there are just a lot more angry drivers, period?

I realize that no one keeps data on “angry drivers,” but wouldn’t you love to see the stats? What makes people blow up?

This is one of those times I wish I had a radio talk show instead of a newspaper column.

Here’s how I’d start the show:

OK, people, give me a call and, for starters, answer these questions: What is it that people do that makes you so darn mad while you’re driving? And why does being in your car bring out your rage?

After a couple hours of calls, we’d have a Top 10 of rage-inducers. Getting cut off in traffic? Driving too slowly? Failure to yield? Tailgating?

Then, I’d go to Question 2, which intrigues me more. Why do people erupt when they’re behind the wheel instead of in other social situations that would make a normal person’s blood boil?

Examples abound. Have you ever stood in a line at the grocery store when no one could figure out how to operate their Vons card? Or tried to sleep when the upstairs neighbors decide to test the limits of their new subwoofer? Or when someone behind you in line in a crowded fast-food restaurant stakes claim to the last available table by dumping their possessions on it?

Those indignities happen all the time, but nobody opens fire.

What is it about being in your car? Ah, you say, it’s because you can make an easier getaway.

That makes a certain amount of sense, except ...

Why would you assume you can pop a cap on someone on the freeway and not be seen? It is a fact that the CHP told The Times it hasn’t arrested any of the shooters in the recent cases, but do you gunmen really rely on that? Some of the shootings occurred in daylight. All it takes is one person to get your license number.

There has to be something more instinctive than a belief you can get away with it.

Is it because, dear listener, you feel more powerful with a ton of steel at your disposal? Do you, perhaps subconsciously, feel threatened by the ton of steel that offended you in the other lane? Is there something about moving at great speed that empowers you, gets your blood moving faster? Are you nothing more than a modern-day cowboy who shot from horseback at enemies? Does it go deeper in our DNA than that? Are we all, at heart, Mongol warriors on steeds?

We know you might be listening right now. Give us a call.

Answer this: Why does getting cut off in traffic irritate you more than someone cutting in front of you in line to go to a concert? You wouldn’t shoot them, but you’d shoot the person who makes you veer from Lane 2 to Lane 3?

I don’t get it. Help us understand you.

Tell us how quickly the anger takes to build. Is it immediate, or do you stew for a couple of miles before you make the decision to shoot? Did you have any idea when you left the house you’d be shooting someone? How long afterward do you feel angry, or do you, as I suspect, immediately cool down and regret what you’ve done?

We want to hear from you.

Longtime listeners, first-time shooters. Please call. Phone lines are open.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. He can be

reached at (714) 966-7821 or at dana.parsons@latimes.com. An archive of his recent columns is at www.latimes.com/parsons.