It Appears Umberg Forgot Where He Came From

I was raised in Wheaton, Ill., an All-American city and a suburb of Chicago, while California Assemblyman Tom Umberg (D-Santa Ana) grew up in neighboring Lombard, which is a village and not worthy of being called a city. So when anyone asked him where he was from early in life, I’m guessing he said Chicago.

I’ve been to Lombard, the so-called Lilac Capital. Fortunately the light was green and I didn’t have to stay any longer than necessary. And I don’t know anyone who would actually admit they are from there.

I checked the Internet and read several bios of Assemblyman Umberg, including one on his own website, and none of them mention Lombard. One noted he was a native of Cincinnati, and they all mention he graduated with honors from UCLA. (Residents of Wheaton would have been more likely to go to USC.)

Umberg maintains he was always proud to call Lombard home, which is good, or he’d have a problem defending the legislation he has introduced chastising Arte Moreno for claiming Los Angeles as home of the Angels.

“The taxpayers are getting screwed in Anaheim,” and the way he talks, there’s no doubt Umberg is from Lombard. “The taxpayers struck a deal that Anaheim would be in essence on the marquee in exchange for lower rent on the stadium; with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Anaheim will be lost.

“Everybody makes a mistake, and Arte made one here. He’d have a better shot if he called the team the Oakland Angels, because they play 10 games there this season and only three in Los Angeles. I’m going to fight to get the taxpayers their due. It’s deceptive what Arte is doing here.”

I laughed. I’m sorry, I’m just used to doing that when I run into someone from Lombard, or a politician working to add disclaimers to Angels’ advertising that inform fans the team really isn’t from Los Angeles.

“This is a very serious effort,” Umberg said, like that was going to stop me from laughing. To the assemblyman’s credit, he displayed a wonderful sense of humor throughout our chat. Of course, if you spent any time in Lombard, you had to develop a sense of humor.

“You’re from Orange County and you’re going along with Arte,” Umberg said. “The next bill I introduce will be to revoke your Orange County citizenship.”

Umberg attended about a dozen Angel games last season, and when I asked about this year, he said, “Initially I will boycott.”

I think I know where we’ll find him if the Angels have a good year -- especially if they get the chance to go against one of his Chicago teams in postseason play.

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BEFORE DEACON JONES forfeits his citizenship, leaves the country and takes up residence in Iraq in shame -- as he promised after being sacked in the World Poker Tournament before Page 2 -- he needs to write a check to Cure Autism Now.

The great, big, bad football player lasted 25 minutes; Page 2 played for eight hours.

Jones was the first celebrity to be eliminated from the tournament at the Commerce Casino; Page 2 placed 22nd in a field of 236 pro players, celebrities and media slugs.

When I asked Jones to produce his checkbook before leaving, he said he was too upset. “I need to go outside and just scream,” he said.

I suppose I can wait until he gets back from Iraq.

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THE OTHER day I heard Jack Haley on the Steve Mason/John Ireland radio show, and while Ireland and Mason treated Haley like they were hoping he’d give them an autograph when they were finished, Haley said he couldn’t understand what all the ruckus was about when he reported “it was a done deal” that the Lakers had made a trade this week with Utah.

Haley said he was mad -- that’s right, he was mad -- because some people were trying to make this an issue of credibility, as if there is any other issue involved. As one scribe noted, “He’s got more credibility now for his basketball career than his journalism career.” Ouch.

The fact the “Southern California Sports Report” hasn’t made an issue of Haley’s reporting credibility and hasn’t gotten that point across to its basketball analyst, who should have spent the week apologizing to everyone, is all you need to know about that show’s reliability.

Right now you have to wonder who has more credibility at Fox? Tom Arnold or Haley? I know, a tough question.

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SOMEONE PUT Paris Hilton’s cellphone number on the Internet, which included her address book of friends, which probably explains why Andy Roddick received a number of Davis Cup ticket requests. He knew it was a prank, because why would anyone want Davis Cup tickets?

Hilton’s address book also included an entry for “T,J” and I can explain.

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A FOURTH trainer has been nailed at Santa Anita for breaking the “milkshake” rule, and his horses will have to be sent to the detention barn. If you don’t think baking soda makes a horse run better, trainer Jeff Mullins, winning at a 25% to 30% clip most of the time, is one for 18 since his horses were sent to detention. That leads me to wonder whether Hee-Seop Choi spent time in detention last season.

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DODGER RIGHT FIELDER (that should make him mad) Milton Bradley didn’t want to discuss his anger-management program when he arrived in camp. He said he didn’t run into any fans during the off-season wanting to know about it, suggesting it’s only the media that care. Hard to believe there weren’t any brave souls who considered themselves fast enough to ask the question and make the quick getaway before Bradley picked up a bottle. That shows you how out of shape fans are today.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes compliments of the Clippers:

The team presented broadcaster Ralph Lawler with a cruise at halftime Thursday night to mark his 2,000th Clipper broadcast.

To really be kind, they ought to let him take it during the season.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.