The word on the streets

If you think you’ve seen and done it all in L.A., the guidebooks in the “Local” section of any given bookstore will prove you wrong. The selection might even make your head spin, trying to figure out which one will most help you, the resident in a city filled with tourists.

Your first choice might be the hyper-practical “Not for Tourists” (Not for Tourists Inc., $19.95). About half of its 400 pages are maps marked with restaurants, post offices, video stores, gyms and so on. The rest presents information on parks, malls and entertainment facilities. Think of it as a Thomas Guide crossed with the Yellow Pages. But due to a printing glitch, the 2005 version has been nearly impossible to find; it was just shipped out to stores.

Then there are the niche publications. Some, like the annually updated Zagat guides to dining and nightlife (Zagat Survey, $12.95), have developed their own cults of fans and detractors.

Others are good but have become dated, such as “Horny? L.A.” (Really Great Books, $18.95). It isn’t quite as salacious as the title suggests, but too many of the hotspots listed have shut or lost their sheen since it was printed in 2001.

A few, such as “Resident Tourist” (LA Weekly Books, $14.95), make you wonder if the authors thought their work was one big joke (the only Cajun restaurant in it is in ... North Carolina?).

Here’s a guide to six new or offbeat guidebooks that might open your eyes to the city.

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The guide: Free L.A. Edited by Troy Corley Corley Guide, 273 pp., $12.95

What they promise: “The ultimate free fun guide to the City of Angels”

What they deliver: A 2004 guide to just about every free, regularly scheduled event in Greater Los Angeles. Besides a breakdown of mostly family-friendly or civic events, it lists for museums, concerts, films -- and some tips on how to get free trees and mulch.

Who needs this? People who like parades and ethnic festivals; Angelenos on a budget; or anyone who’s ever said, “There’s nothing to do this weekend.”

How practical? Listings even come with Thomas Guide coordinates.

Best discovery: The Bunny Museum: a private Pasadena home/museum housing the largest collection of bunny stuff in the world, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

The no-brainer: The Hollywood Christmas Parade? West Hollywood Halloween Carnival? The L.A. Marathon?

What’s missing? More offbeat or non-civic-minded fun -- TV tapings, celebrity-spotting venues, pickup basketball or beach volleyball games.

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The guide: Irreverent Guide to Los Angeles Jeff Spurrier and Chrissy Coleman Frommer’s 248 pp., $12.99

What they promise: “They praise, they trash, they weigh and leave the final decisions up to you,” the publisher says.

What they deliver: Laugh-out-loud funny. Includes sound advice such as “always valet around Melrose or West Hollywood”; three restaurants “for drinking only (no eating)” -- El Coyote, Canter’s and Yamashiro; and a section called “So Last Year Bars and Clubs.”

Who needs this? Locals who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves.

How practical? Includes indexes and maps -- but could be better cross-referenced. Despite coming out in ‘04, a few dated entries, such as Farmer’s Daughter Motel before its trendy revamp.

Best discovery: Restaurants in public-works buildings: Engine Company No. 28, and the Blue Flame, the Gas Co.’s eatery, in downtown L.A. Also, the antique watch

store Wanna Buy a Watch? on Melrose.

The no-brainer: Hollywood sign.

What’s missing? “Shoe Fetish” section omits Diavolina, La Brea Avenue’s shoe lover’s paradise.

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The guide: L.A. Bizarro Anthony R. Lovett and Matt Maranian St. Martin’s Press 192 pp. $16.95

What they promise: “The insider’s guide to the obscure, the absurd and the perverse in Los Angeles”

What they deliver: A classic. Sure, some of the oddities don’t exist anymore, like the California Alligator Farm. But there are listings of nude beaches, the “oldest operating puppet theater” in the country (Bob Baker Marionette Theater), a store that sells scary things for “folks who like to play with dead things” (Necromance).

Who needs this? Anyone with a twisted sense of humor.

How practical? Not at all. But we’re willing to forgive them.

Best discovery: Oceanic Arts, a 10,000-square-foot tiki emporium; Adventure in Postcards, a Sunland shop that sells hundreds of thousands of postcards.

The no-brainer: Pink’s Hot Dogs

What’s missing? Seemingly nothing, but it could use an update since being published in 1997.

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The guide: California Babylon Kristan Lawson, Anneli Rufus St. Martin’s Press 286 pp., $15.95

What they promise: “A guide to sites of scandal, mayhem and celluloid in the Golden State”

What they deliver: “E! True Hollywood Story” meets an elaborate star map in this 2000 book. Learn of an infamous birth, death or suicide site in your own neighborhood. Find answers to questions such as “Which piece of paradise was paved for a parking lot in Joni Mitchell’s ‘Yellow Taxi’?”

Who needs this? Anyone with even a passing interest in Hollywood history, scandals and mayhem.

How practical? Has the basics; organized by region (about one-third of the book encompasses Northern and Central California).

Best discovery: Actual location of the “planets” in “Star Trek.”

The no-brainer: Hollywood Bowl and Hollywood Wax Museum aren’t really worthy as sites of scandal or mayhem.

What’s missing? Hard to imagine these writers have left a scandalous stone unturned.

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The guide: City Dog: Los Angeles Edited by Cricky Long City Dog 307 pp., $13.95

What they promise: “An invaluable reference manual for everyone from the starving artist to the sitcom star -- and all the dog-loving people in between”

What they deliver: If your dog needs a massage therapist, psychologist, expert groomer, acupuncturist, priest, lawyer, kosher food, aromatherapy, prep school, summer camp or a volunteering opportunity, it’s here. If nothing else, this 2004 book proves we’re a city obsessed with dogs.

Who needs this? Anyone with a dog.

How practical? Includes payment info, but price ranges could be better defined.

Best discovery: Toss up between the doggie fat farm, canine priest and rabbi service (for weddings and bar mitzvahs) and raw food or juice bar menus.

The no-brainer: Petco and Petsmart. Useful to have their phone numbers handy, though.

What’s missing? Doesn’t list every vet; more of a lifestyle guide for Fido.

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The guide: L. A. First Class Merle Elias Globe Pequot 207 pp., $16.95

What they promise: “The best of the best”

What they deliver: Handy reference to services such as high-end baby-proofing companies, tie repair and cleaning, crowd control, hair extensions and

house dressers -- even a chartered jet. Certain things are out of date since 2001, like the closed Glendale branch of FAO Schwarz as best toy store.

Who needs this? The ultra-rich (and those who assist them), the super-busy and dreamers.

How practical? All the basics, plus whether they take Visa, MasterCard or American Express.

Best discovery: LACMA art rental: Need a piece of fine art, but aren’t ready to add it to the permanent collection? Rent it! Also, a service that will sod your balcony if you don’t have time to walk the dog.

The no-brainer: Promises addiction recovery center. (They’re mentioned in the tabloids enough.)

What’s missing? Money management firms.