Burglar Drove Himself to Failure

Today’s never-ending stupid criminal tricks competition involves a burglar who was evidently in a hurry. The guy parked his own car in the driveway of the Diamond Bar house he entered, then bumped into the arriving owner as he was leaving.

The owner took down his license plate number, and L.A. County sheriff’s deputies then went to the suspect’s house and arrested him. He was already on parole for a burglary conviction.

“A lot of times [burglars are] not using their own car or it’s stolen or they’re hiding the plate,” Sheriff’s Sgt. Angie Wilkinson told the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin in wonderment. “But he was using his own car and he wasn’t disguised.” A guy can’t think of everything.

Those movie awards: Yes, I imagine you’re pretty excited about the nominations just released for the Razzies, which single out the most forgettable performances of the year.

John Wilson’s 25-year-old Golden Raspberry Foundation, which will hand out its awards Feb. 26 at the Ivar Theater, has nominated Ben Stiller for Worst Actor for his cumulative work in five 2004 movies: “Along Came Polly,” “Anchorman,” “Dodgeball,” “Envy” and “Starsky & Hutch.” If Stiller wins, can you imagine all the people he’ll have to thank in his acceptance speech?

Point, counterpoint: Encinitas has a great one-stop shopping area for patrons who, as Sarah Lifton put it, “are happy to let someone stick it to them” (see photo).

What will they think of next? At the UCLA Medical Center, Tom Budlong found a salt packet that would reassure dieters (see accompanying) but that prompted him to ask: “For people on a low-salt diet, do they also have salt-free sugar?”

Choices, choices: I hear about people moving from California to nearby states for economic reasons, and one look at two job notices might explain why (see accompanying).

Hagop Hergelian of Burbank saw an announcement about an L.A. County position with a monthly salary that was modest indeed.

R.L. Hickman of Imperial Beach, on the other hand, was astounded to see what a job in Bullhead City, Ariz., pays. And that’s just for the assistant city engineer. Imagine what the head honcho receives.

miscelLAny: A press release from Los Angeles Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse, which hands out monthly “Loony Lawsuit” awards, cites the case of a Cleveland man who claimed that watching NBC’s “Fear Factor” caused him to be injured. The plaintiff, who is suing the network for $2.5 million, said the reality show was so disgusting that his blood pressure rose, leaving him dizzy, and when he retreated into another room, he bumped his head in the doorway.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800)LATimes, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.