U.S. Open Has a Language All Its Own

The first U.S. Open Championship was played at Newport Golf Club in Rhode Island on Oct. 4, 1895. It was supposed to have been played in September, but the United States Golf Assn. thought its fledgling event might sink if it went up against the America’s Cup yacht races.

Eleven players showed up and played the nine-hole course four times. Horace Rawlins shot 91-82 and won. His prizes: a gold medal and $150.

Last year, Retief Goosen played four rounds at Shinnecock Hills Golf Club in Southampton, N.Y., and shot four under par to win, and his prizes had it all over Rawlins’: $1.125 million, plus an invitation to come back next year and try it again at Pinehurst No. 2 in North Carolina.

Obviously, it’s not the same old U.S. Open anymore, not even close to the one that Rawlins won, or even the second one, which was also held at Shinnecock in 1896. Just about everything is different: not only the cash on hand, which is going to be at least $6.25 million at Pinehurst, but the equipment, the quality of the field, the pressure, the media and the parking lots located in South Carolina.

On the other hand, it’s comforting to know that some things about the U.S. Open and the USGA remain constant, even though they may not date all the way back to Horace Rawlins.

With the USGA’s showcase event just around the corner, it’s a good time to take a look at certain words and phrases that have become part of the event’s lexicon.

You know most of them. Par is a good score. Rough. Syringing. Hump-backed greens. You’re going to hear a lot of this stuff next week at Pinehurst, so in the interest of clarity, let’s cut through the verbiage to the underlying message the USGA is actually trying to deliver once you are able to read between the lines.

Because it has been sort of cool, the rough isn’t high enough yet.

Translation: If you’re standing in it and you can’t lose a ball, a caddie, a marshal or your patience, then this simply won’t cut it. Oh, speaking of the rough, we simply won’t cut it.

We’re not trying to embarrass the best players in the world, we’re trying to identify the best players in the world.

Translation: But if they do get a little embarrassed along the way, it won’t hurt our feelings.

Par is a good score.

Translation: Over par is even better.

We’re changing the par-five 8th hole and the par-five 16th hole to par fours at Pinehurst.

Translation: We’d change them to par twos if we could.

Our national championship is far too important to be settled in a sudden-death playoff, so an 18-hole playoff on Monday is called for.

Translation: And we get to wear our khaki slacks, ties and white shirts on one more day away from our law firms. Plus, the cash registers in the merchandise area can also ka-ching until Tuesday.

We like coming to classic courses such as Pinehurst No. 2

Translation: We never get too far from country clubs, but we’ve got back-to-back Opens at public courses in 2008 and 2009 at Torrey Pines and Bethpage Black, so we don’t lose sight of the average fan, at least not until we put in new rules about golf balls so they travel 25 yards shorter.

Maybe we should have syringed that glass-like 7th green last year at Shinnecock, because it got a little bit away from us.

Translation: Maybe we should have just gone ahead with our original plan to cement it and paint it green.

The U.S. Open is the toughest major to win.

Translation: And we’re going to make sure that doesn’t change this year.

Pinehurst’s natural defense is the nature of the hump-backed greens.

Translation: See previous.

The typical U.S. Open course setup is tough but fair, and that’s the way it should be.

Translation: Sure, sometimes we go over the line and it becomes more county fair, but you have to say we’ve always had good winners -- once they figure out what we’re up to. It’s probably no coincidence that the last guy who won, this Goosen character, used to travel with his own shrink. He also survived after being struck by lightning as a child. After that experience, the U.S. Open didn’t faze him a bit. Are we going to have some fun at Pinehurst or what?