Wooing a Man of Few Words

The public pas de deux, trois or quatre among super coach Phil Jackson and NBA teams that may or may not want to hire a messiah of hoops (who may or may not want to be hired) has become a modern classic of public entertainment. Even if you’re not a fan of large men in baggy shorts and squeaky shoes running and jumping between TV timeouts, Jackson’s 14-year NBA winning record of .723 is amazing -- nine championships, the last three straight with the Lakers. Who will he deign to lead next? Or will he?

Last summer Jackson was invited to leave the Lakers by a team owner who may or may not be that dumb. The team then traded one very large man with a four-letter name and kept another tall four-letter fellow who was on trial in Colorado.

How would this turn out? Badly. The accused guy got off, but the team was 34-48 bad. Nonplayoff-bad.

What was Jackson doing meanwhile? Meditating as the sun rose over the Flathead Range in Big Sky Country, building a new house, releasing a book labeling the leftover Laker star uncoachable and wandering the South Seas for two months while the team ship that marooned him sank back home.

The goateed Jackson is a follower of Zen. He knows how to stay calm and balanced and positive, even in the hectic last two minutes of an NBA game that somehow takes 20 to elapse. He also knows the power of silence. And the power of mystery in a 24-hour media age that is positively bulimic for good stories, gorging on one after another before rejecting most for the next.

What is the sound of one man not speaking? This just in: Jackson’s agent reveals it’s now 51-49 likely his client will coach, up from 50-50. What does Jackson’s secretive dinner with the New York Knicks augur? Does his silence mean Portland or Cleveland has a chance? Remember, that dumb L.A. owner is the father of Jackson’s girlfriend, who’s a team vice president. Will that help? Hypothetically, Jackson could join that family, inherit the team and woo himself to return.

Jackson earned $6 million last year, maybe he’ll get $10 million next time. He accepts upward of $2,222 per minute for a motivational speech. Good reason to speak well and long. So let’s assume financial imperatives are not imperative.

Jackson in Zen mode is driving L.A. to focus, to work and try harder. What must we do to please Coach Jackson? Wait a minute! That sounds like one of his players. The darned coach is coaching even when he isn’t.