Count on celebrity countdowners

If there’s a starlet blinking into bright lights and counting backward, it can mean only one of two things: There’s another DUI checkpoint up on Doheny or it’s time to ring in another nightclub new year. Here’s a rundown of the famous faces that are being advertised as “special celebrity hosts” for Dec. 31 events, which means they are being paid handsomely simply to sprinkle their personal party-magic:

Britney Spears at Pure (Caesars Palace, Las Vegas)

Pure is positioning itself as the Desert City’s relaunching pad for pop divas. Mariah Carey was there to usher-in 2005, the year that would see her rebound from industry laughingstock to exalted comeback queen. This time, it will be Spears who will be toasting from a $100,000 bottle of Champagne. What about rumors that she will do a mini-concert? Not a chance. So for you fans pining for the old hits, we have some advice: Keep your pants on. And while we’re on the topic of overexposure ...

Pamela Anderson at Tao

(The Venetian, Las Vegas)

The club is advertising this party with a photo of a topless Anderson squatting in latex pants and high heels. So it’s not a, uh, formal affair, apparently. There’s three DJs in three rooms, platters of hot and cold Asian food, and an open bar until 11 p.m. What won’t you find there? That would be ...

Kid Rock at Jet

(The Mirage, Las Vegas)

Anderson’s estranged husband is over at Jet (all Vegas nightclubs, it would seem, now have single-syllable names that sound like 1970s brands of men’s cologne). This is being daftly advertised as: “A rare countdown and DJ set by Kid Rock.” Feel free to insert your own joke here about rock-rappers doing math. Kid Rock isn’t the only decadent rocker who married a “Baywatch” star; there’s also ...

Dave Navarro at Tangerine

(Treasure Island, Las Vegas)

This was a booking that was supposed to belong to Nicole Richie, but, well, she went in a different direction. Now the gig goes to guitar demigod Navarro, who will be joined by hip-hop pioneer Grandmaster Flash. Navarro recently split with ...

Carmen Electra at Paramount Pictures Studio Lot

(Hollywood)

The Killers are playing, so this is actually a full-on concert, not just a celeb-host, but we wanted to show that not everything happens in Nevada. That’s not to say that you will feel completely at home at this shindig; the show will be staged at the lot’s faux Times Square, so if you blur your eyes you can pretend you caught the nonstop to New York. Meanwhile, in the real Manhattan ...

Christina Aguilera at the Hudson Hotel (New York)

She won’t be there when the ball drops (she’ll be in Times Square, where she’s singing), but the organizers say she will be on hand as the “special host” after midnight. Gossip grenade Perez Hilton (who is despised by the paparazzi for swiping their work) is also listed as a “celebrity guest,” so this party might be the scene of the best catfight. For a warmer vibe, go south to see ...

Jessica Alba and the Duff sisters at Setai (Miami)

Alba will co-host this DKNY Jeans party with Hilary and Haylie Duff, who certainly should be carded at the bar. Ben McKenzie from “The OC” is also advertised as a host. DJ set by Steve Aoki, who won’t be the only kid millionaire in the crowd.

Tara Reid at the Marriott Hotel (Chicago)

“Media sensation” Reid (that’s how she’s described in the party ad) is booked at the Marriott in the Second City for the unfortunately named “Future Forward Party.” We hope she doesn’t bump into the Ghost of Career Past at the buffet line. Electronic music star BT will be on hand for a live performance, at least, which should prevent long, awkward silences.

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geoff.boucher@latimes.com