Dads on drool and other family matters

MEN circulate the idea that women are irrational, sentimental creatures prone to tears at the drop of a home makeover show. This masks the reality that no one is more sentimental than a man writing about fatherhood, except a man writing about his father and baseball.

Writing about fatherhood is a minefield of mawkishness. The authors of three new books venture in and attempt to emerge unscathed. The least successful of these is “Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler” by C.W. Nevius, who dispenses nuggets of inoffensive advice in easily digested chunks. “If you are wearing that dark suit for the big presentation ... and you see your baby girl reaching her arms up

Far more successful are Chris Erskine’s “Man of the House,” a collection of original essays accompanied by a few “greatest hits” from his L.A. Times column, and Robert Wilder’s “Daddy Needs a Drink.” Erskine and Wilder cover remarkably similar territory -- both feature hints of a menage-a-trois fantasy brought on by accidental exposure to explicit material, a toddler who bellows an anatomical vulgarity in public, and the occasional absurdity of children’s activities.

Erskine’s observations are frequently laugh-out-loud funny. Like the best humorous essayists, he says what everybody’s thinking or feeling in a more comical way. The terrain is familiar -- family road trips, youth sports, the joy and terror of children becoming adults -- but he makes the ride entertaining.

We learn that youth sports are more fun for all involved when the parents in the stands are at least tipsy: “Their conviviality was overwhelming.... Each inning, the parents grew a little louder, a little younger.” Long car trips grow intolerable by 4 p.m.: “”You could promise them lobster, cash, or a rare first-reading of the family will, and there would be no placating them.”

Erskine’s letters to his children and his late father lose the humorous thread, breaking the otherwise easygoing flow. And the technique of stringing together a list of statements beginning with “I believe” hasn’t aged well since it came out of Kevin Costner’s mouth in the movie “Bull Durham.” Overall, though, “Man of the House” is as satisfying as a cold beer on a hot day.

For those who prefer a shot of tequila at 2 a.m., then Robert Wilder’s “Daddy Needs a Drink” fills the bill. Wilder, a columnist for the Santa Fe Reporter, writes edgy, snarky essays and tiptoes through the sentimentality minefield. Filling a book with essays about fatherhood that are consistently hilarious and never maudlin is a difficult feat, but Wilder makes it look easy.

All parents will rejoice in his “Kidalgo,” a tale of revenge upon child-hating fellow airline passengers because after all, “children deserve the same mild respect we give ... ineffective comic actors like Tim Allen.” And any father who has ever found that solo parenting makes him attractive to women who would otherwise ignore him will recognize themselves in this passage: “She called me Mr. Mom and touched me just above my knee twice. I could have died.”

Wilder’s collection is spiced with sharp-eyed but never cruel observations of kids’ befuddling behavior and hilarious scatology -- he goes to the well of body parts and functions several times for amusing (and unquotable in a family newspaper) essays. His love for his family comes through without ever seeming cloying.

“Man of the House” and “Daddy Needs a Drink” are enjoyable takes on fatherhood that capture the absurdity and joy to be found in the most important job a man can do.

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Brendan Halpin is the author of the novel “A Long Way Back” and “Losing My Faculties: A Teacher’s Story.”

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Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler

A Zen Guide for New Dads

C.W. Nevius

Chronicle Books: 96 pp., $9.95

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Daddy Needs a Drink

An Irreverent Look at Parenting From a Dad Who Truly Loves His Kids -- Even When They’re Driving Him Nuts

Robert Wilder

Delacorte: 278 pp., $23

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Man of the House

Reflections on Life With Dogs, Divas, and a Bunch of Little Dudes Who Keep Calling Me Dad

Chris Erskine

Rodale: 228 pp., $23.95