Lions and Tigers and Excretions, Oh My!

Who says Amtrak is always behind schedule? Molly McClanahan of Fullerton was in the train station at Grover Beach in Central California when she noticed that Amtrak was ahead of time -- way ahead of time (see photo).

Tiger bomb: The item here about a website for predator urine -- used to discourage lawn despoilers -- reminded Dr. Michael Rogers of San Diego of his days in the service.

“When I was in Vietnam in ‘68,” he said, “we had artillery observers out along the Ho Chi Minh Trail. The North Vietnamese got wise and were going after these guys using dogs. This led to the creation of the job of Lieutenant in Charge of Tiger Pee.

“Every morning this Army lieutenant would go to the Bangkok Zoo and collect tiger pee from the zookeepers there. It would be choppered out to our guys along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, who would spray it on the bushes around the thickets where they were hiding. This would inspire the dogs to go elsewhere.”

Hopping right along: Charlotte Roberts, meanwhile, wrote that the predator pee discussion “took me back to Lion Country Safari, a lot of years ago. Rabbits were devastating my garden so I latched on to the idea of buying lion dung. Luckily, in those days, I drove a convertible.

“It worked like a charm for a while until the rabbits figured out the smell was there but not the claws or the teeth.”

Summed up Roberts: “They were not-so-dumb bunnies.”

Guide to Adventurous Dining: The puzzling specials du jour (see accompanying) include:

* Beef that appears to have been stepped on more than a few times (from Neil Dixon of Venice).

* Pork with a scary-sounding feature (from Ida Messinger of L.A.).

* A meal that won’t light up your life (from Anita Sherbanee of Corona del Mar).

* And, finally, some tomatoes that need a shower (from Carol Powell of Encino).

You think you’ve been the victim of bad customer service ... : USC campus police responded to a report of a customer locked inside a store near campus and were trying to figure out how to get inside when the store manager arrived on the premises. She explained that she had locked the door when she “left to get coffee,” and forgot that the customer was inside.

miscelLAny: Maybe the Blue Line passenger came up with the idea after hearing a recorded voice give passengers instructions in both English and Spanish.

Anyway, he strode to the front of one car the other afternoon and told his seatmates how he was from out of state, didn’t have a job, needed money, etc. Then he gave what seemed to be the same speech in Spanish. No one responded to either pitch, and he left without bothering to bid adieu.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.