If you wonder, they miss him, they really miss him

It’s been a long time, Aug. 30 to be exact, since I spent time with the boys in blue, and it shows.

When I left the guys -- to make sure everything started on a positive note for UCLA and USC, the Dodgers had just beaten Cincinnati, while keeping themselves three games ahead of the Padres. I thought my work was done, and figured together we were playoff bound.

But when I returned Monday, the Dodgers were a mess, and in second place -- just like the punch-less Angels.

“Where have you been?” Brad Penny gasped, and while starting pitchers usually don’t like to say anything on the day they’re pitching, I couldn’t shut him up.

“Remember, you’re coming to my Oklahoma farm this summer,” he said.

“That’s close to Nebraska, isn’t it?” and now I was the one gasping.

“You’ve got to admit that I’ve controlled myself,” Penny said, while suggesting we had made some kind of agreement.

J.D. Drew then jumped in, and I didn’t complain, because it’s the first time I’ve seen Drew jump for anything.

“Does he have to kill something?” Drew asked Penny, and when you consider Penny carries a picture in his wallet of the deer he’s iced, it was a good question.

Penny said, “We’ll just sit around the campfire,” and by the looks of the big guy I’m sure he also has s’mores in mind.

“You gotta go,” Drew said, and I’ve never heard such excitement in his voice, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the fact that I’d be out in the middle of nowhere with an angry man and his shotgun.

I steered the conversation to baseball and advised Drew he needs to move his batting average above .280. “I can do that,” he said.

I told Penny I’d be watching his temperament, and probably should have told him it looks like a Penny these days is worth only five innings.

Then it was on to Jeff Kent, and I reminded him he’s getting older and hasn’t won a World Series.

“I’m thinking of buying a RV and would like to take you for a ride this off-season,” Kent said, and I’m not sure anyone has ever said anything nastier to me in the 33 years I’ve been doing this job.

The only thing that matters, though, is that it got the guys going again. Kent doubled twice and then homered. Drew doubled and then homered too, and while Penny got ripped early, it’s understandable because he had just come from a team meeting in which Frank McCourt had spoken, and was probably still laughing.

McCourt reportedly pinned a newspaper clipping -- of something Padres third baseman Russell Branyan had said -- to the wall. I’m sure it brought back high school memories for everyone.

Penny managed to maintain his composure after the false start and kept the Padres off the scoreboard as the Dodgers came back to tie it. Then the home run barrage began.

You can understand now why I’ve already made travel arrangements to be with the guys in Colorado and San Francisco for the last week of the season.

I DON’T believe what I just saw. Down by four, the Dodgers hit four home runs in the ninth inning. They go down by one in the 10th and get a two-run homer to win, 11-10. Now I’m guessing McCourt will talk to the team before every game.

I’M DOING what I can. I called Manager Jim Tracy, knowing the Pirates had already checked into a L.A. hotel for today’s game.

“Are you watching the big game?” I asked.

“Baseball or football?” Tracy said, and he still has a sense of humor, which you wouldn’t expect from someone managing the Pirates.

The scenario couldn’t be any better, though, for someone who didn’t feel appreciated while managing the Dodgers. The Pirates stink, but not as badly as you might think -- now six games above .500 in their last 60.

Last year’s Dodgers manager can now help determine how this year’s Dodgers team finishes before moving on to play San Diego.

“How’s your family?” Tracy said. “I’m just not going to say something that’s going to hit the Dodger bulletin board.”

That’s not the first time Tracy has disappointed McCourt.

BOTH VIN SCULLY and John Wooden were in Dodger Stadium on Sunday, and knowing Wooden’s love for the game, how much would someone pay to hear both L.A. icons talking baseball? Sounds like a great charity fund-raiser.

Scully told a funny story before Monday’s game about how Wooden was one of the first people to greet him when he arrived here in 1958.

“I was carrying two huge grocery bags and came to this wooden gate, and a man came around the corner and opened it for me,” Scully said. “He said, ‘Hi, I’m John Wooden, I coach at UCLA,’ and I said something like, ‘Hi, I’m Vin Scully and I’m the Dodger babbler.’ I had no idea who he was at the time.”

A few years ago Scully got a visit at home from a delivery man. “He told me, ‘the coach wanted you to have this,’ and I now have an autographed basketball from John Wooden,” Scully said.

He still has it, and given Scully’s history, that’s amazing.

As a youngster, he heard a commotion at the Polo Grounds, investigated and found Babe Ruth. Ruth pulled out a stack of business cards, each already autographed, and passed them out.

“I got one,” Scully said, “but I lost it.”

He said he also has an autographed baseball from the All Century Team.

“I’ve got it somewhere at home, but I can’t find it,” Scully said.

It’s just a good thing a basketball is as big as it is.

WHEN ANN MEYERS DRYSDALE made arrangements for Wooden’s visit, she asked for seats covered by shade, and by chance Wooden ended up occupying the very same seat the great USC baseball coach Rod Dedeaux always sat in.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at

t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.