These Apologies Would Help

Nobody’s perfect.

“I’ve made a million mistakes,” Oklahoma Coach Bob Stoops confessed this week before resuming his shotgun-offense attacks on Pacific 10 Conference officials who cost his team a victory last weekend at Oregon.

At least the Pac-10 said it was sorry.

Here are a few apologies that, so far as we know, have yet to be issued:

* Colorado to Missouri: “We used five downs to beat you in 1990 and then went on to win a share of the national title. Was that wrong?”

* College presidents to fans: “We know there’s a better way to crown a champion -- we just don’t know how to get off our talking-point lie that it’s all about missed class time.”

* NCAA to athletic departments: “Our rules manual is a rat maze of literature.”

* Heisman Trophy voters to Peyton Manning: “The hardware we awarded to Charles Woodson in 1997 should be on your mantel.”

* Ara Parseghian to football purists: “I should have tried to win that game against Michigan State.”

* Poll voters to Alabama: “You were the only undefeated and untied team in 1966. We voted you third. We denied you a third straight national title. We botched it.”

* Miami, Virginia Tech and Boston College to the Big East: “We put you through hell in bolting to the Atlantic Coast Conference and you’re still better than us in football.”

* Bowl Championship Series, blanket apology to Miami in 2000, Oregon in 2001, USC in 2003, California and Auburn in 2004, and possibly Auburn in 2006: “Oops.”

* Pete Carroll to USC fans: “Even my wife says I should have had Reggie Bush in the game on fourth and two.”

* Bush to USC: “Everything may not be OK.”

* USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett to boosters: “I sincerely regret the hiring of Paul Hackett.”

* Anonymous coaches’ poll voter to Steve Spurrier: “I dropped Florida from second to 13th in 1995 after Nebraska crushed you in the Fiesta Bowl. It was petty jealousy. I don’t like you, still don’t, but I should have been a man about it.”

* Spurrier to Central Michigan: “Beating you 82 to 6 back in 1997 may have been excessive.”

* California to Stanford for “The Play”: “Garner’s knee was down and Ford’s lateral to Moen was forward. We know it, you know, the world knows it.”

* Stanford to Norm Chow: “In light of our 0-3 start, you would have been the better choice to lead our football program into a new stadium.”

* USA Today voting coaches to Michigan: “It was a mistake to give Nebraska your share of the national championship in 1997. You were No. 1 in our poll and then you beat Washington State in the Rose Bowl. Tom Osborne had announced his retirement as coach, though, and no one had bought him a going-away gift.”

* NCAA rules committee to college coaches: “This cockamamie new clock rule is probably the worst thing we ever conceived and we’re going to change it next year.”

* Maurice Clarett to prison guard: “I should have stayed in school, kept my mouth shut, listened to Coach Tressel, won the Heisman Trophy and been a first-round draft pick. Now look at me.”

* Miami public relations staff to media: “We really do need to install wireless for deadline night games vs. Florida State at the Orange Bowl.”

* Rick Neuheisel to college football: “I played loose with NCAA rules and got caught. Of course I knew betting on the NCAA basketball tournament was against the rules.”

* Stoops to Oklahoma fans: “Understanding those were horrible calls, I coached a team that gave up 501 yards to Oregon.”

* College football columnist to readers: “Picking North Carolina to win the national title in 1997 was a reach; Texas, your fight song is not “I’ve been working on the railroad”; should have been kinder in print to Kansas State Coach Bill Snyder.”

Enough is Enough

You’ve made your point, Stoops, you were right, your team got robbed. The penalty may not have fit the crime, but it’s time to move on.

In your sport they call what you’ve been doing lately “piling on.”

The Oklahoma-Oregon debacle has triggered calls for rule changes. Michigan Coach Lloyd Carr proposed a national pool of replay officials, but how practical is that and who’s going to pay for it?

There is logistical and financial sense to having retired officials man the replay booths in games played in their areas and it’s not like the Pac-10 is the only conference that does it.

“Sounds good,” Oregon Coach Mike Bellotti said of Carr’s plan. “I don’t know if it’s feasible.”

Like many things in college football, officiating policies vary by conference.

The Pac-10 requires home crews for nonconference home games and accepts the opposing conference’s officials on the road.

So, unless Stoops is accusing West Coast officials of being crooks, the same sort of “homer-ism” charges could be levied when a Pac-10 team plays at a Big 12 school with a Big 12 officiating crew.

The Pac-10, though, is the only BCS conference with clear-cut rules.

The Big 12, for nonconference games, allows each team to negotiate the terms for the officials into the game contract.

The Atlantic Coast has “no hard and fast policy,” spokesman Brian Morrison said.

The conference does, however, require ACC replay officials for games played in ACC stadiums and, Morrison added, “We expect on the road to have the replay officials of the host conference.”

As in the Big 12, the Big Ten and Southeastern conferences allow officiating matters to be handled in individual game contracts.

The Big East?

“We encourage that schools use our officials for nonleague games on the road,” Associate Commissioner John Paquette said. “It is not an official policy.”

Blitz Package

* Watch the USA Today coaches’ poll very carefully this week. As previously stated, the best way to mitigate the Oregon-Oklahoma error is in the rankings. The coaches were obviously tone deaf in jumping Oregon six spots and dropping Oklahoma five in the aftermath of Saturday’s outcome. It will be interesting to see, in light of this week’s furor, whether the coaches will make a correction in next week’s balloting.

The 114-member Harris Interactive poll, which has replaced the Associated Press rankings in the BCS standings formula, makes its debut Sunday, meaning it can take a clean-slate approach to the OklahomaOregon matter.

* This is never going to happen in 2006 but.... In 1940, Cornell defeated Dartmouth on a fifth-down play. The next day, after reviewing the film, Cornell acknowledged it had won unfairly and conceded defeat.

* Take me to your leader ... or not. Oklahoma President David Boren looks silly for having sent the Big 12 a letter suggesting the controversial Oklahoma-Oregon result be stricken from the record books.

Point I: That was never going to happen. Point II: The Pac-10 had already notified the Big 12 it was investigating the fishy finish. Point III: Next time, Boren should take three deep breaths before putting pen to paper. Football at Oklahoma is very important, though. It was Oklahoma president George L. Cross who once famously quipped, “We want to build a university our football team can be proud of.”

* If you’re scoring at home. Charlie Weis is 11-4 in his first 15 games as Notre Dame coach. Tyrone Willingham, fired after three years and replaced by Weis, was also 11-4. In his 15th game, Weis suffered a blowout defeat to Michigan. In his 15th game, Willingham suffered a blowout defeat to Michigan.

* Hearts are pounding outside Portland as perennial Division III power Linfield College (Oregon) is off to an 0-2 start. So what? At stake here is one of the most impressive streaks in the history of sport. Linfield has posted 50 consecutive winning seasons dating to 1956. Linfield years ago surpassed the collegiate football record of 42 seasons, shared by Harvard and Notre Dame. The New York Yankees posted 39 straight winning seasons once, and the NFL record is 21 by the Dallas Cowboys. Linfield is in a transition year, though, breaking in a new coach and quarterback. The Wildcats need to win five of their last seven games to extend the streak. The 1987 team started 1-4 and had to win its last four games to keep the streak alive.

* Kids these days. USC freshman Allen Bradford said this week he would not move to fullback to help a position ravaged by injuries to Brandon Hancock and Ryan Powdrell. Years ago, before Bradford was born, a young USC runner agreed to play fullback because USC already had Charles White at tailback. The young fullback did it to help his team, and his career turned out OK. His name: Marcus Allen.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com