Rivalry boils down to 10-year clash of titans

Among the many ways Ohio State’s 28-21 loss to Illinois on Saturday qualified as exceedingly bad timing:

The Buckeyes’ defeat, knocking them out of the No. 1 slot in both the BCS standings and Associated Press rankings, happened just three days before the debut of HBO Sports’ first documentary on college football, “Michigan vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry.”

Coupled with Michigan’s loss to Wisconsin on the same afternoon, this Saturday’s matchup between the 10-1 Buckeyes and the 8-3 Wolverines in Ann Arbor now appears to be just another game.

Or is it?

The documentary, which first airs on HBO tonight at 10:30, maintains that “Even in a down year, playing spoiler to one’s foe can be equally satisfying, turning a lost season into one of lasting triumph.”

The program has to cover a lot of ground in one hour. The Michigan-Ohio State football rivalry debuted in 1897, six years before the first World Series and a quarter-century before the NFL’s inaugural season. But for dramatic and thematic purposes, the producers know how to do the simple math, really. Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler coached against each other 10 times in the rivalry -- “The 10-Year War,” as fans refer to that period -- and those two woolly mammoths get the lion’s share of the spotlight.

In fact, viewers watching the documentary might assume that the Wolverines went coach-less once Schembechler retired after the 1990 Rose Bowl.

Hayes was a legendary football conservative noted for his “three yards and a cloud of dust” approach to offense. Schembechler’s teams unleashed the occasional forward pass against Hayes, resulting in Schembechler’s finishing the 10-Year War with a 5-4-1 record against Hayes.

The documentary features remarkable footage from a Michigan-Ohio State game that included 45 punts -- remarkable in that Hayes and Schembechler had nothing to do with that game. Michigan won that 1950 game, which was played in a snowstorm, 9-3, on a blocked punt the Wolverines recovered in the end zone, of course. Ohio State promptly changed coaches, and Hayes began his Buckeyes career the following fall.

Old Buckeyes and Wolverines telling tales about Hayes and Schembechler is the best part of the program.

Tom Skladany, Ohio State punter-kicker from 1973-76, said Hayes “looked like a raving madman during practice.”

Rex Kern, Ohio State quarterback from 1968-70, recalled how Hayes, in a fit of rage, “took the watch off, threw the watch down, and jumped up and down on that.”

Dan Dierdorf, Michigan All-American offensive lineman in 1970, described Schembechler as “the Tasmanian devil that came into town in a whirlwind of dust and we were left in his wake. He worked us to death.”

Alumni and very interested observers also get airtime to launch their favorite rivalry jokes.

Ben Sproat, Michigan Class of ‘48: “How do you get an OSU grad off your porch? You pay him for the pizza.”

Aaron Marshall of the Columbus Dispatch: “What do you call a Michigan Wolverine with a national championship ring? A thief.”

The rivalry reached its recent peak last season, when both teams entered the game undefeated and played a classic -- No. 1 Ohio State edging No. 2 Michigan, 42-39. After that, an anti-climactic encore seemed a sure thing, and this Saturday’s billing certainly qualifies as a letdown. When Schembechler took over as Michigan coach in 1969, he inherited some dilapidated facilities, including a locker room with exposed rusty nails.

After hearing complaints, Schembechler referenced fabled Michigan Coach Fielding Yost and railed, “You see that rusty nail right there? Fielding Yost hung his hat on that rusty nail! We’ve got tradition here! Michigan tradition! And that’s something no one else has!”

Every so often, the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry produces a late-November rusty nail. But, in accordance with its 110-year-old tradition, all that means is that the Wolverines and Buckeyes will continue pounding away.

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christine.daniels@latimes.com

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UCLA UP NEXT

vs. Oregon (8-1, 5-1)

Nov. 24 at the Rose Bowl, 12:30 p.m., Channel 7