Lakers state obvious; Nuggets can't get upset

By T.J. SIMERS

April 21, 2008 12 AM PT

A review of Lakers playoff game No. 1 -- 15 wins to go.

PREGAME: The Dodgers still haven’t recovered from opening the season with a saxophonist playing the national anthem. The Lakers know better, bringing out the booming voice of Agostino Castagnola to get everyone revved up.

Then the lights go out, the overhead sheets fall, and everyone’s told, “Destiny is calling,” followed by highlights of Kobe, and Kobe and then Kobe. There’s also a glimpse of Andrew Bynum, and is this some kind of message they’re trying to tell us, or maybe the Celtics?

“These are the playoffs,” the sheets now read, like anyone in the building doesn’t know. After all, Smush Parker no longer plays for the Lakers.

Whatever they’re paying Lakers announcer Lawrence Tanter, it isn’t enough, Tanter adding just the right punctuation. “Now on your feet to greet the whole team,” Tanter croons, and so everyone does -- before he introduces Rick Fox.

Fox, wearing his 2002 NBA winning Lakers jacket, delivers the game ball to referee Ken Mauer, the two posing at center court for photographers -- Mauer’s arm around Fox’s back. How do you like the Nuggets’ chances now?

FIRST QUARTER: Nuggets win the jump, and probably should’ve called it a day. Kenyon Martin is covering Bryant, while Allen Iverson is assigned Vladimir Radmanovic. Now there are days when no one has to cover Radmanovic and he still won’t score, but it doesn’t bode well inside for the Nuggets.

Radmanovic gets into early foul trouble, and Luke Walton plays well. How do you like the Nuggets’ chances now?

Pau Gasol dunks, the Lakers go ahead by 10 and up on the scoreboard in Batman script, it reads, “Pau!” It works, but so would’ve, “Bless you, Memphis, bless you!”

Carmelo Anthony goes to the free-throw line for Denver, and the crowd starts chanting, “DUI.” Who knew that Anthony and Jerry Buss would have something in common?

Later Anthony will say, “I wasn’t expecting anything different. I’m on the road. That’s what [fans] are supposed to do. They are supposed to try and distract me out there.

“But I’ve got to take my hat off to myself for not getting frustrated. . . . “

What a ridiculous thing to say. I can understand Anthony saying, “I’ve got to take my headband off to myself,” but his hat?

The Nuggets will fly back to Denver after the game rather than remain in L.A. until Wednesday night’s game, because they obviously can’t trust their athletes to behave here. It’s good news, of course, no one having to keep an eye out for Anthony on our freeways.

The Nuggets make only half of their free throws early on, they shoot a lot, but can’t score, and the argument all week has been, what’s the most attractive Sunday game for TV? The Spurs-Suns or the Lakers-Nuggets? The answer is obvious now.

SECOND QUARTER: The Lakers begin with a four-point lead but fall behind by as many as eight when Linas Kleiza makes like Larry Bird and drops in a pair of threes. Before the game, most people mention Linas’ name, and they’re thinking Peanuts, which might explain why the Lakers left him so open.

Andruw Jones is 0 for 3 with three strikeouts in Atlanta for the Dodgers so far, and is almost having the same kind of game as Bryant, who is one for nine.

Bryant also picks up a third foul, and what more do the Nuggets need to stage an upset? How about some discipline, focus at the free-throw line and someone throwing a hand up in Gasol’s face?

Gasol puts the Lakers ahead again by two, then four, and later when someone asks Denver Coach George Karl about Gasol’s domination, he says, “The film will show the Lakers tore us up.

“Coby Karl could have scored those baskets,” he says, while referring to his son. Maybe with a step stool.

THIRD QUARTER: The Nuggets are trailing by 13, and Bryant is three for 13 from the field. Right about now, I imagine, Anthony could use a drink.

Gasol puts 16 more points on the board in the third quarter, the Lakers as a team shoot 59%, and end the period with a pair of threes from Radmanovic and Jordan Farmar to go up by 19.

The Lakers have 97 points after three quarters of play, and Kevin Love is sitting in the crowd. Too bad it’s not Ben Howland.

Lamar Odom, who quietly has been playing at a much higher level since Gasol’s arrival, delivers the highlight of the quarter. He grabs a defensive rebound, aggressively, and yes I say, aggressively goes the distance to score on a driving layup.

“When I was 12,” Odom says later, “I always played with kids who were bigger, and when I got a rebound, I knew I could beat them down the court.”

Through three quarters, Odom hits six of 11 shots, leads everyone on the floor with 14 rebounds and adds five assists. And at game’s end, everyone is asking him what he thinks of Gasol.

FOURTH QUARTER: “Here we go,” Tanter tells the crowd, “the fourth and final period.” And on the Nuggets bench, you can just imagine Karl saying, “Thank heavens.”

The Nuggets creep closer, but can’t hit free throws. Iverson misses six in the game, because I presume he’s just standing still instead of falling down while shooting.

Bryant gets to the free-throw line 10 times in the fourth quarter, but oddly the “MVP” chants are reserved and never do reach a crescendo. Maybe everyone already knows it’s a done deal.

With a little more than two minutes remaining, Iverson gets tagged with two technical fouls and is ejected from the game. The same referee, who began the game smiling and holding his arm around Fox, is the guy who sends Iverson home early.

Coach Phil Jackson takes Bryant out of the game with 1:33 remaining, and Jeanie Buss stands up and walks out of the arena. And all this time we thought she was there to watch Jackson.

The Lakers win in a romp, the media gather under Staples Center for postgame interviews and David Beckham is standing there -- hoping, I guess, that maybe somebody might take an interest in him.

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.

To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.