The bleeping Golden Globes

The Golden Globes are supposed to be loose, but so loose that it could spur FCC sanctions? The Hollywood Foreign Press Assn. can thank newly minted Globes winner Mickey Rourke for one of its most profane acceptance speeches in recent history -- highlighted by frequent use of the word “balls” as a compliment. Then, as he teased Darren Aronofsky about being smarter than everyone in the room, except maybe for Steven Spielberg, “The Wrestler” director shot back a friendly flipping of the bird. And, oh, yes, “Slumdog Millionaire” producer Christian Colson -- who accepted for film drama, closed out the evening with an expletive as he realized he was out of time for his speech.

Bleep. Bleep.

Clearly, the champagne was flowing Sunday night. The Globes have long been famed for their relaxed, off-the-cuff air, fueled by the knowledge circulating the room that nobody puts “Golden Globes winner” on their gravestone. Past high jinks have included Jack Nicholson mock-mooning the audience and Brad Pitt thanking Kaopectate, the diarrhea medication, for its contribution to mankind.

On Sunday, the comedians, perhaps sensing a countrywide need for a few laughs, were in particularly fine form.


Presenter Ricky Gervais complained: “I can’t believe I’m not nominated. What a waste of a campaign. Today is the last time I have sex with 200 middle-age journalists. It was horrible. Really. A lot of them didn’t even speak English. Europeans with wispy beards. The men were worse.”

By contrast, Tina Fey, upon winning actress in a TV comedy series, noted that if ever one begins to feel “too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you. I’d like to address some of them now. BabsonLaCrosse, you can suck it.”

Seth Rogen joked about doing cocaine with Rourke, and Sacha Baron Cohen noted that even Madonna had taken heed of these hard economic times and dumped one of her many assistants -- “Guy Ritchie.”

Perhaps the biggest surprise moment came when “30 Rock” won for television comedy and costar Tracy Morgan bounded up to the microphone rather than creator-writer Fey. Morgan announced to the receptive crowd that “Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak for the show from now on. Welcome to post-racial America. I’m the face of post-racial America. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett. We’d like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. Especially me ‘cause the black man can’t get no love at the Emmys. I love you, Europe. That’s wasssup.”