The Times’ end-of-the-season baseball awards

Ballots are due this week for the major awards — most valuable player, Cy Young and the managers and rookies of the year — selected by the Baseball Writers Assn. of America. But since we don’t have a vote, the deadline is of little consequence to us. Instead, we’ve come up with our own awards to recognize performances the BBWAA is likely to overlook:

The “Next Time Say It With Flowers” award: The Marlins’ Chris Coghlan and the Angels’ Kendry Morales both had their seasons ended celebrating walk-off victories. Coghlan, the reigning NL Rookie of the Year, suffered a torn meniscus in his left knee planting a whipped-cream pie in the face of teammate Wes Helms, and Morales broke a bone in his left leg leaping on to the plate after hitting a game-winning grand slam.

The “No Way to Treat a King” award: In Felix Hernandez’s 12 losses, his Seattle Mariners teammates scored just seven runs while he was on the mound — and they failed to score at all in seven of his final 14 starts. King Felix lost one game in which he threw a complete-game two-hitter, another in which he didn’t allow an earned run and failed to get a decision two other times when he held an opponent scoreless for at least seven innings.

The “That’s Why They Call It a Trot” award: The Orioles’ Luke Scott pulled a hamstring and the Reds’ Jim Edmonds hurt his right Achilles’ circling the bases after hitting home runs.

The “Forgot to Read the Fine Print” award: This season has been christened the Year of the Pitcher, thanks in part to five no-hitters and two perfect games but also because batting averages, home runs and scoring are all way down across the majors. Apparently Toronto’s Jose Bautista didn’t get the memo, though. The 54 home runs he took into the season’s final weekend nearly doubled his totals from his first six big league seasons combined.

The “I Hope It’s Not Contagious” award: Mat Latos, who leads the San Diego Padres in wins (14), earned-run average (2.92) and strikeouts (185) spent time on the disabled list this summer after straining a muscle in his side trying to hold back a sneeze.

The “Clothes Make the Man” award: Speaking of injuries, Houston’s Geoff Blum wound up on the disabled list after popping an elbow putting on a shirt, and 14-game winner Ricky Nolasco of the Marlins had season-ending knee surgery after tearing the medial meniscus in his right knee while changing shoes.

The “And They Call These Guys Athletes?” award: Yet more bizarre injuries. On his way to close the curtain in his hotel room, Seattle’s Russell Branyan knocked over a table, which fell on his toe causing a gash. This is the same Russell Branyan who missed playing time earlier in his career after falling out of his chair at a pizza joint while trying to pick up a flip-flop. Honorable mention goes to the Mets’ Mike Pelfrey, who had to be scratched from a start with a sleeping injury. Turns out he hurt his neck while snoozing on an airplane.

The “Silence is Golden” award: The Marlins lost a game when the incessant din from 15,000 plastic horns handed out to fans made it hard for Manager Fredi Gonzalez to explain his lineup changes to an umpire. The Marlins were penalized for batting out of order and Gonzalez eventually lost his job. The Marlins’ promotions staff kept theirs, however.

— Kevin Baxter