Speed dating is having a revival. Here’s how to take advantage in L.A.

Good morning, and welcome to the Essential California newsletter. It’s Saturday, Oct. 21. Here’s what you need to know to start your weekend:

• Speed dating is having a revival. How to take advantage in L.A.
• A warm, wet El Niño winter is in store for California
• 8 takeaways from Britney Spears’ new memoir
• And here’s today’s e-newspaper

Young people are making speed dating cool again

It might seem unexpected that speed dating is seeing a revival in L.A., but as our reporter Kailyn Brown writes, it has a long history here.

The first documented speed dating event took place in 1998 at a Peet’s Coffee & Tea in Beverly Hills. Orthodox Rabbi Yaacov Deyo and a few of his friends came up with the method, which they thought would be a fun and efficient way for Jewish singles to find partners.

A lot has changed in the dating world since then, especially with the rise of apps like Tinder and Bumble. A recent Pew Research Center study found 1 in 5 partnered adults under 30 had met their partner on a dating app or site. Though they may seem ubiquitous, the experience of using a dating app is still less than ideal. Three in 10 U.S. adults say they have ever used a dating site or app. But when the coronavirus shut the world down in March 2020, “people who swore they’d never online date were converted overnight,” Damona Hoffman, an L.A-based certified dating coach, told Kailyn.

The Pew study also found that 45% of people who used them said dating apps left them feeling more frustrated than hopeful. “The rate at which people download and delete dating apps is second only to online gambling,” the Guardian’s Annie Lord reported.

Now, people who had zero interest in speed dating are trying it.

Tantra Speed Date events let singles connect through methods including yoga, improv and eye gazing — online as well as in person.

(JJ Geiger / For The Times)

Every month in Los Angeles, you can find local events for several age groups, gamers, queer folks, anime enthusiasts, various relationship dynamics, people within the BDSM community and more.

Tantra Speed Date offers one of several styles of mixers that have found a foothold here. With the Tantra experience, singles can get to know each other through connection exercises from various practices, such as meditation, partner yoga, improv acting, eye gazing and dance. The activities can be done both in person and online.

Then there’s ice bath speed dating. (Yes, people really do this.) Instead of meeting at bars, the novel speed dating experiment at IcePass L.A. in Venice allows people to take three-minute plunges into tubs of ice, and ask each other questions like “What does love mean to you?” and “When do you feel most alive?”

Ice bath mixers in Venice pair singles off in tubs of freezing water for three minutes of deep questions, like “When do you feel most alive?”

(Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Times)

These ice bath events, also known as cold water therapy, have benefits beyond bonding speed daters. There are theories about ice baths reducing stress and increasing dopamine, which can improve one’s mood, but there are also dangers for those with heart issues.

Speed dating might not be the answer to all your dating woes. But since it’s having a resurgence, strike while the iron is hot (or while the ice is cold).

If you’re nervous or still on the fence about going to a speed dating event in L.A., Kailyn has some tips for how to make it a fun experience.

The week’s biggest stories

Palestinian casualties continue to climb in the Gaza Strip from Israel’s ongoing bombing since Hamas’ attack two weeks ago.

(Ali Jadallah / Anadolu via Getty Images)

War in the Middle East

• ‘I need to ask God why.’ In Israel and Gaza, the scale of death overwhelms the living.
• Amid the Israel-Hamas war, doctors at Gaza hospitals face heartbreaking choices.
• ‘Stand with Israel’: Jewish MLB players appear in video condemning Hamas attack.

Politics

• Jim Jordan loses a third and final vote for House speaker.
• Sen. Laphonza Butler, caretaker of the late Dianne Feinstein’s seat, won’t run in the 2024 election.
• Column: These California Republicans voted for Jim Jordan and against the good of the country. Remember their names.

Climate and environment

• A warm, wet El Niño winter is in store for California and much of the U.S.
• An October heat wave could break records in California, but a chance of rain awaits next week.

More big stories

• ‘I’ve never seen anything like this’: Death Valley gleams with water, wildflowers and color.
• Review: ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’ is a powerful historical epic — and a qualified triumph.
• IRS, California postpone tax deadline again for most state residents.
• A Stanford scientist, after decades of study, concludes: We don’t have free will.
• Six years, a trial, and a firing. But no end to a professor’s sexual harassment fight.
• Former Oscars diversity chief on ‘micro- and macro-aggressions’ that led to exit.
• Commentary: USC fans better get ready for a lengthy Lincoln Riley rebuilding project.
• Four women struck and killed in a Malibu crash were Pepperdine students, the university says.
• Why In-N-Out has barely changed its business for 75 years — not even its fries.

Get unlimited access to the Los Angeles Times. Subscribe here.

Column One

Column One is The Times’ home for narrative and long-form journalism. Here’s a great piece from this week:

(Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)

A 19th century massacre, mostly forgotten, clouds plans for a shimmering tribal casino. Does the flashy new gambling hall, hotel and entertainment center honor or desecrate the past?

More great reads

• ‘Fresh out of aloha.’ As tourists return to West Maui, some Hawaiians rethink the aloha spirit.
• How a solar eclipse threw a remote Utah town — and its Navajo workforce — into crisis.
• Kelly Clarkson relocated to New York City because she ‘couldn’t be in L.A.’ anymore.
• A married couple listening to a true-crime podcast led to a man’s exoneration in the murder of a priest.
• Halloween now rivals Christmas at Disneyland. How did it become such a game changer?

How can we make this newsletter more useful? Send comments to essentialcalifornia@latimes.com.

For your weekend

Transport from modern-day L.A. to Japan’s Edo period with a visit to a rebuilt farming village residence on the Huntington grounds in San Marino.

(Jason Armond / Los Angeles Times)

Going out

• 🏯 An ancient Japanese home was rebuilt outside L.A. Now’s your chance to look inside.
• 🌮 This must be Boyle Heights: 18 things to do in L.A.’s real Eastside.
• 🍟 Your guide to the wonderful world of L.A. French fries.
• 🎤 Craving nostalgia? RBD reunites in L.A. and ’90s rap hitmakers take us back.
• 😈 The perfectly creepy ‘M3GAN’ dance is the secret gem of Halloween Horror Nights.

Staying in

• 📖 Britney Spears’ ‘The Woman in Me’: 8 takeaways from a book full of fury.
• 🔊 Kali Uchis looks to ‘re-define’ Latinas in music with new Spanish album.
• 📗 She spent her childhood traveling the world on a family boat. It felt like prison.
• ✏️ Get our free daily crossword puzzle, sudoku, word search and arcade games.

L.A. Affairs

Get wrapped up in tantalizing stories about dating, relationships and marriage.

(Illustration by Keith Alexander Lee / For The Times)

My date with a genius became a lecture series with no escape in sight. She met a scientist on eHarmony and thought there might be a connection. But his affinity for all things mathematical was a turnoff.

Have a great weekend, from the Essential California team

Kevinisha Walker, multiplatform editor
Elvia Limón, multiplatform editor
Karim Doumar, head of newsletters

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