Letters to the Editor: Creating an imaginary world to deal with the grief of miscarriage

Illustration of the view from inside a car of golden hills, blue skies and a road through the windshield
(Jaya Nicely / For The Times)

To the editor: I am weeping reading of the fictional world of op-ed article writer Mahin Ibrahim’s child, whom she miscarried. Her visits to their world of childhood imagine what might’ve been.

Ibrahim breathes life into this child, humor, lots of verve and imagination. I cry harder listening to her phone conversations of silliness and downright playfulness. And I know that when she hangs up, she quite likely has a lump in her throat, as is in mine.

My next phone calls to my children and grandchildren will have a different ring to them. Thank you, Mahin Ibrahim.


Suzanne Marks, Los Angeles


To the editor: I am a retired obstetrician. I am sorry that Ibrahim has difficulty conceiving, and no one will convince her that she did not lose a baby.

Miscarriage occurs in at least 10% of all pregnancies, and possibly closer to 20%. For most miscarriages, the fetus does not develop. Instead there is a small bit of tissue that contains chromosomal abnormalities.

Miscarriage cannot be caused, and it cannot be prevented. There is no medication to prevent it, and emotional distress will not cause it.

Bob Blum, Cypress


To the editor: I want Ibrahim to know how deeply sorry I am about her loss and about her continuing suffering. My heart goes out to her and her husband, and I hope she finds a way to heal and accept life’s unfairness.


Ibrahim obviously considered the being inside her a baby, not a fetus, and she is mourning the loss of a living being.

It raises once more a pressing and controversial issue: Regardless of the legality of abortion, do we call it a baby when we want it and a fetus when we do not?

Sabina Dym, Newport Beach