NBA Eastern Conference preview

Well, it wasn’t exactly divine.

Twenty-nine NBA teams were supposed to bow at the feet of Miami’s LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.

It turned out only ESPN did, between its breathless “The Decision” special, “Heat Index” and “Chase for 72,” which could easily be mistaken for the number of games the network televised.

Miami ended up winning 58 games last season before reaching the Finals and flaming out to Dallas when someone forgot to tell James he’d have to play well in Game 6.

In better news for the Heat, the Big Three are baaack … and then some. Free-agent acquisition Shane Battier will toughen a defense that was already Scrooge-stingy, and sixth man Udonis Haslem is healthy for the first time in more than a year.

With their Finals implosion percolating in their minds, the three stars weren’t content to hang out with their entourages in the off-season. Bosh reportedly added 10 pounds of muscle, James worked on his post moves with Hakeem Olajuwon and Wade trimmed his body fat to a Michael Jordanesque four percent.

It might have been enough for the Heat to win 72 games had the season not been shaved to 66 because of the lockout. (Here’s hoping ESPN won’t commence a “Route 66-0” watch.)

The Heat faces fewer games but bigger challenges, even in the East.

Chicago has a Jordanesque star in Derrick Rose, the MVP who may have found his Scottie Pippen in Richard Hamilton.

New York fans might forgive owner James Dolan for years of bumbling if newcomers Tyson Chandler, Mike Bibby and Baron Davis can help make the Knicks relevant in a Yankees town, along with the additions last season of Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony.

Orlando still has its superstar for the moment, though there’s no telling when Dwight Howard may don his cape and take flight for Los Angeles or New Jersey.

This will probably be the last hurrah for a Boston lineup that requires carbon dating, but you only have to go back to 2010 to find the Celtics’ last Finals appearance.

Still, it’s Miami’s conference to lose. Just make sure somebody sets the alarm clock in crunch time for James.

ben.bolch@latimes.com

Ben Bolch picks the East (in predicted order of finish)

Playoff-bound:

Miami

2010-11 finish: 58-24, No. 2 in East.

Coming: Shane Battier, Eddy Curry, Norris Cole.

Going: Mike Bibby, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Jamaal Magloire.

Team chemistry shouldn’t be the sore subject it was in year one of the Big Three. The feeling-out process is over for LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, meaning it’s watch-out time for the rest of the Eastern Conference. Battier will provide defensive help and alleviate pressure on James to do it all on both ends of the court.

Chicago

2010-11 finish: 62-20, No. 1.

Coming: Richard Hamilton.

Going: Kurt Thomas, Rasual Butler.

Fussy Bulls fans won’t have much to gripe about now that Hamilton’s arrival completes one of the top backcourts in the league. Plus, having a healthy Carlos Boozer is like adding another player after the forward was often sidelined by injuries last year. Topping a season in which they won 62 games and had the league MVP in Derrick Rose will be hard, but the Bulls may be able to do it.

New York

2010-11 finish: 42-40, No. 6.

Coming: Tyson Chandler, Mike Bibby, Baron Davis, Iman Shumpert.

Going: Chauncey Billups, Derrick Brown, Anthony Carter, Roger Mason Jr.

Not even sad sack owner James Dolan may be able to screw this up. Adding Chandler and Bibby to a core of Carmelo Anthony and Amare Stoudemire gives the Knicks a formidable nucleus that could be even deeper if Davis is able to return from an ailing back. Games at Madison Square Garden could be a tough ticket for the first time in years.

Orlando

2010-11 finish: 52-30, No. 4.

Coming: Glen Davis.

Going: Gilbert Arenas, Brandon Bass.

All the is-he-or-isn’t-he-leaving talk surrounding Dwight Howard will continue to be a distraction until management picks a trade package for the All-Star center or signs him to an extension. Even if its roster remains intact, the Magic appears set to continue its slow fade since making the NBA Finals in 2009. Davis bolsters the frontcourt, but it will likely take more than that to make this team a title contender again.

Boston

2010-11 finish: 56-26, No. 3.

Coming: Brandon Bass, Keyon Dooling, Marquis Daniels.

Going: Glen Davis, Shaquille O’Neal, Delonte West.

“Old” doesn’t even begin to describe the core of Paul Pierce, 34, Kevin Garnett, 35, and Ray Allen, 36. That’s not exactly the kind of lineup you want to take into all the back-to-back situations necessitated by the lockout. Compounding matters, the Jeff Green-for-Kendrick Perkins trade is looking one-sided after the Celtics’ Green was diagnosed this month with a heart condition that will sideline him for the season.

Indiana

2010-11 finish: 37-45, No. 8.

Coming: David West, George Hill, Jeff Pendergraph.

Going: James Posey, Mike Dunleavy, T.J. Ford, Josh McRoberts, Brandon Rush.

The vastly improved Pacers could be headed for warp speed. West, a former All-Star, gives them another proven scorer alongside mainstay Danny Granger. Hill could be an epic feel-good story if the Indianapolis native makes the expected impact at both guard spots. Being exceedingly young also won’t hurt the Pacers during the compressed schedule.

Atlanta

2010-11 finish: 44-38, No. 5.

Coming: Tracy McGrady, Jerry Stackhouse, Vladimir Radmanovic.

Going: Jamal Crawford, Damien Wilkins.

Good thing for the Hawks that the East remains largely mediocre. That means Atlanta is a playoff shoo-in despite replacing the capable Crawford with the past-their-prime McGrady and Stackhouse. Kirk Hinrich’s being out until February while he recovers from shoulder surgery is another blow.

Philadelphia

2010-11 finish: 41-41, No. 7.

Coming: Nikola Vucevic.

Going: Jason Kapono.

It’s going to take more than reduced ticket prices and a new mascot to satisfy a fan base that could turn on the new ownership group if the team struggles. Former UCLA player Jrue Holiday must continue his ascent as one of the league’s top young point guards while meshing with a former crosstown rival in Vucevic, the onetime USC star big man.

Early off-season:

Milwaukee

2010-11 finish: 35-47, No. 9.

Coming: Stephen Jackson, Beno Udrih, Mike Dunleavy Jr., Shaun Livingston.

Going: Corey Maggette, John Salmons, Keyon Dooling.

The Bucks might not have as much trouble scoring with Jackson in the fold and with a healthier Andrew Bogut, who is coming off surgery to fix the arm problem that led to his shooting woes last season. Point guard Brandon Jennings needs to transcend making the flashy play, exhibiting more consistency to help his team step up in the standings.

Detroit

2010-11 finish: 30-52, No. 11.

Coming: Coach Lawrence Frank, Damien Wilkins, Brandon Knight.

Going: Coach John Kuester, Richard Hamilton, Tracy McGrady, Chris Wilcox.

Another link to the Pistons’ last NBA title was severed when the Pistons used the amnesty clause to waive Hamilton. Glory days, these are not, but at least the disastrous Kuester era is over. Guard Rodney Stuckey is a solid frontman for an otherwise uninspiring band of players who need a major boost from Knight.

New Jersey

2010-11 finish: 24-58, No. 12.

Coming: Shawne Williams, Shelden Williams, MarShon Brooks.

Going: Brandan Wright, Sasha Vujacic, Travis Outlaw.

The Brooklyn-bound Nets can’t leave New Jersey soon enough. Their final season in the Garden State figures to be as forgettable as most of the ones that preceded it unless they can somehow wrangle Dwight Howard away from Orlando. Center Brook Lopez is out with a broken foot, and All-Star point guard Deron Williams can’t do it all alone.

Washington

2010-11 finish: 23-59, No. 13.

Coming: Ronny Turiaf, Roger Mason, Jan Vesely, Chris Singleton.

Going: Josh Howard, Yi Jianlian.

John Wall, Nick Young, Rashard Lewis … what’s not to like? Oh, right — the rest of the roster. There’s a reason the Wizards finished near the bottom of the Eastern Conference, and it wasn’t their dynamic point guard or his top two sidekicks. Their only hope for a move up in the standings is significant improvement from JaVale McGee and Andray Blatche.

Charlotte

2010-11 finish: 34-48, No. 10.

Coming: Reggie Williams, Derrick Brown, Corey Maggette, Bismack Biyombo, Kemba Walker.

Going: Stephen Jackson, Shaun Livingston, Kwame Brown.

The Bobcats got a pair of lottery picks in Biyombo and Walker and could be headed for more since they appear destined for another subpar season. Their core is young and largely unproven, though Maggette will add a veteran presence. By February, Bobcats owner Michael Jordan might be regretting the end of the lockout.

Toronto

2010-11 finish: 22-60, No. 14.

Coming: Coach Dwane Casey, Gary Forbes, Rasual Butler, Anthony Carter, Aaron Gray.

Going: Coach Jay Triano, Sonny Weems, Reggie Evans.

There’s still an NBA team in Canada? The Raptors were forgettable even before Chris Bosh departed; now they’re internationally irrelevant. DeMar DeRozan’s dunks and Andrea Bargnani’s scoring splurges won’t be enough to carry this team to respectability.

Cleveland

2010-11 finish: 19-63, No. 15.

Coming: Omri Casspi, Kyrie Irving, Tristan Thompson.

Going: J.J. Hickson, Baron Davis.

Hello, Cleveland! Irving and Thompson, two of the top four picks in this year’s lottery, are calling the city home after LeBron James’ departure led to the first of what figures to be several abysmal seasons. Maybe the Cavaliers should take a page out of the old Clippers’ marketing playbook and sell their fans on other teams coming into town.