Exceptionally gifted: Rating bowl game swag

1. MAACO Las Vegas

Sat., Dec. 22, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN), Las Vegas

Washington vs. Boise State

You can’t beat this $550-limit gift suite. No quill pens or Timely watches, or coins, or footballs. Just a no-strings-attached gift suite. Think of it as skipping the middleman on that ugly sweater you get for Christmas and then return. OK, and you’re in Las Vegas.

2. Rose

Tues., Jan. 1, 2 p.m.

(ESPN), Pasadena

Wisconsin vs. Stanford

Features a gift suite where a player can choose a recliner or blender to make healthy food, plus a Fossil watch (Did Fred Flintstone get one of these at his bowl game? Because they’re everywhere); an Oakley backpack and a New Era Thirty9 Thirty cap, most likely with a Rose Bowl logo on it.

3. Valero Alamo

Sat., Dec. 29, 3:45 p.m. (ESPN),

San Antonio

Texas vs. Oregon State

Apple iPad mini, Fossil watch, $100 Best Buy gift card, panoramic team photo, Schutt mini helmet. An iPad mini and a Best Buy card would cause lots of kids to say, “Best Christmas ever!” And those make up for the mini helmet.

4. Franklin American

Mortgage Music City

Mon., Dec. 31, 9 a.m. (ESPN), Nashville

North Carolina State

vs. Vanderbilt

Gift suite, Fossil watch. Neat, simple, engraved timepiece, and let the shopping begin.

5. Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman

Dec. 27, noon (ESPN),

Washington, D.C.

Bowling Green vs. San Jose St.

Apple iPad mini, Timely watch, beanie. The iPad alone makes this a winner. Yes, San Jose State will get better gifts than USC. Take that, Trojans.

6. Belk

Dec. 27, 3:30 p.m. (ESPN), Charlotte, N.C.

Cincinnati vs. Duke

Perfect for the Dukie who has everything. Teams get a shopping trip to a Belk department store. And the Fossil watch. Who wears these things?

7. Famous Idaho Potato

Saturday, 1:30 p.m. (ESPN),

Boise, Idaho

Toledo vs. Utah State

Gift suite, North End winter coat, Kombi winter gloves, Tiger Woods Victory Nike beanie, Ogio Bullion backpack, Big Game football. It’s still a Tiger victory beanie? But a gift suite and a North End coat? Sweet.

8 (tie). Russell Athletic Sports

Fri., Dec. 28, 2:30 p.m. (ESPN), Orlando

Virginia Tech vs. Rutgers

A $420 shopping trip to Best Buy, Timely watch. Wouldn’t want to be in the Best Buy when the guys come through. Hope they bring calculators.

8 (tie) Capitol One

Jan. 1, 10 a.m. (Ch. 7), Orlando

Georgia vs. Nebraska

A $420 shopping trip to Best Buy, Fossil watch. Couldn’t find a difference between a Fossil watch and a Timely watch.

10. Discover Orange

Jan. 1, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN), Miami

Gardens, Fla.

Northern Illinois vs.

Florida State

Gift suite and Tourneau watch. Classy watch. Shop till you drop in the suite. Typical day for Florida State players but something new for Northern Illinois.

11. Chick-fil-A

Dec. 31, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN),

Atlanta

Clemson vs. LSU

$300 gift card, Fossil watch, Chick-fil-A Bowl hat, Russell Athletic travel bag, Chick-fil-A gift card. This is not a political statement, just a love of Chick-fil-A. Yum.

12. Discover BCS National Championship Game

Mon., Jan. 7, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN), Miami Gardens, Fla.

Notre Dame vs. Alabama

Gift suite, Tourneau watch. To the victor goes the classy watch. And the spoils of the suite.

13. Meineke Car Care of Texas

Dec. 28, 6 p.m. (ESPN),

Houston

Minnesota vs. Texas Tech

Fossil watch, 32-inch flat-screen TV, belt buckle, T-shirt, lapel pin, backpack. Players will keep the TV. It might be a belated “Merry Christmas, Dad,” for the belt buckle.

14. (tie) San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia

Thursday, 5 p.m. (ESPN),

San Diego

BYU vs. San Diego State

Best Buy gift card, Tourneau watch, Maui Jim sunglasses gift certificate, cap.

14 (tie) Bridgepoint Education Holiday

Dec. 27, 6:45 p.m. (ESPN),

San Diego

UCLA vs. Baylor

Best Buy gift card, Tourneau watch, Maui Jim gift certificate, cap. San Diego shopper must have gotten two-for-one deals

16. Bell Helicopter Armed Forces

Dec. 29, 8:45 a.m. (ESPN),

Fort Worth

Rice vs. Air Force

Sony gift suite, Fossil watch, Dakine backpack, Big Game football. Forget the last three items. Drool over an all-Sony gift suite.

17. TaxSlayer.com Gator

Jan. 1, 9 a.m. (ESPN2),

Jacksonville, Fla.

Northwestern vs.

Mississippi State

Fossil watch, Dome hat, Mercury garment bag and carry-on bag, Jostens ring, football. Players will already have their luggage; it’s been logo-stamped and mailed. If you see it during your holiday travels, give the guys a big hello. But with all these gifts, shouldn’t they get a tax slayer?

18. Allstate Sugar

Wed., Jan. 2, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN), New Orleans

Louisville vs. Florida

Gift suite, Fossil watch, New Era cap, Boxer and Stone hoodie. Would have been higher but value is deducted from the suite for that Fossil watch.

19. R+L Carriers New Orleans

Dec. 22, 9 a.m. (ESPN)

East Carolina vs.

Louisiana-Lafayette

Beats by Dre headphones, Fossil watch, Oakley backpack. Those headphones seem trendy but don’t most kids already have them?

20. Tostitos Fiesta

Thurs., Jan. 3, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN), Glendale, Ariz.

Oregon vs. Kansas State

Gift suite, Fossil watch, Ogio Mercur backpack. Points deducted for lack of creativity with the Fossil watch.

21. Gildan New Mexico

Today, 10 a.m. (ESPN),

Albuquerque

Arizona vs. Nevada

Gift suite, Deuce Brand watch, Oakley Holbrook sunglasses, Oakley fine-knit beanie cap, Oakley Flak Pack XL backpack, Gildan stadium blanket, quill pen. We assume the pen is to give to grandma, or if the player gets a starring role in a Shakespeare play.

22. AdvoCare V1000 Independence

Dec. 28, 11 a.m. (ESPN), Shreveport, La.

Louisiana-Monroe vs. Ohio

Gift suite, Timely watch, New Era cap, football. Because no football player can ever have too many footballs.

23. Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg

Fri., Dec. 21, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN), St. Petersburg, Fla.

Central Florida vs. Ball State

Jawbone Jambox, Oakley Dispatch II sunglasses, Oakley backpack, Schutt mini-helmet. At least this bowl is showing creativity. Whatever a Jawbone Jambox is, no one else on the block will have one!

24. Sheraton Hawaii

Mon., Dec. 24, 5 p.m. (ESPN), Honolulu

SMU vs. Fresno State

Fossil watch, Oakley backpack, Tori Richard aloha shirts, custom beach towel, Pro Athletics shorts, T-shirt, performance T-shirt, hat/visor, calendar. Quantity over quality. Not much use for beach towels for these teams after they leave Hawaii.

25. Outback

Jan. 1, 10 a.m. (ESPN),

Tampa, Fla.

South Carolina vs. Michigan.

A $150 Best Buy gift card, Fossil watch, ring, cap, Outback Steakhouse gift card. Should just pile on the gift cards, forget about the trinkets.

26. Heart of Dallas

Jan. 1, 9 a.m. (ESPNU), Dallas

Purdue vs. Oklahoma State.

Backpacks, long-sleeve dry-fit shirts, stocking caps. One can never have too many stocking caps, can one?

27. Buffalo Wild Wings

Dec. 29, 7:15 p.m. (ESPN),

Tempe, Ariz.

Michigan State vs. TCU

Gift suite, Fossil watch, Ogio Mercur backpack. Can’t imagine a college kid tapping someone on the shoulder and saying, “Hey, I’ve got an Ogio Mercur backpack.” Or maybe they’re that cool.

28. BBVA Compass

Sat., Jan. 5, 10 a.m. (ESPN), Birmingham, Ala.

Pittsburgh vs. Mississippi

Fossil watch, Oakley Dispatch II sunglasses, wireless portable speaker, backpack, football. The speaker seems cool.

29. GoDaddy.com

Sun., Jan. 6, 6 p.m. (ESPN), Mobile, Ala.

Kent State vs. Arkansas State

Sol Republic headphones, Fossil watch, leather garment bag, Wilson football. For the guy who already has the cool headphones the leather garment bag could be good.

30. Kraft Fight Hunger

Dec. 29, 1 p.m. (ESPN2),

San Francisco

Navy vs. Arizona State

Fossil watch, Nike FuelBand, FoxL wireless portable speaker system, Nike backpack, cap. So Nike.

31. AutoZone Liberty

Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN), Memphis, Tenn.

Iowa State vs. Tulsa

Sol Republic Tracks HD Anthem headphones, Bulova watch, Nike athletic shoes and sandals, Nike sunglasses, Nike backpack, football. So, so Nike.

32. Hyundai Sun

Dec. 31, 11 a.m. (Channel 2),

El Paso, Texas

USC vs. Georgia Tech

Timely watch, Majestic fleece, Top of the World cap, coin, Helen of Troy hair dryer. You’re picked No. 1 at the beginning of the year, you lose five times, this is your reward. A hair dryer.

33. Little Caesars Pizza

Wed., Dec. 26, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN), Detroit

Western Kentucky vs. Central Michigan

Timely watch, leather travel sports bag, football. Watch roll call is Tourneau, Bulova, Timely.

34. AT&T; Cotton

Fri., Jan. 4, 5 p.m. (Channel 11), Arlington, Texas

Texas A&M; vs. Oklahoma

Officials would only reveal players will get a Fossil watch. How about a (Johnny) football at least? Players last year did receive an iPad2 so something else good might be coming.

35. New Era Pinstripe

Dec. 29, 12:15 p.m. (ESPN),

New York

Syracuse vs. West Virginia

New Era cap and other stuff the committee will not reveal. So it really will be like Christmas for New Syracuse and West Virginia.